The Colony Of Lost Souls

By crystalix

One

Slowly, Angel took a deep breath and looked up to the towering structures before him. There stood two great walls; higher than he had ever seen and impenetrable from the outside. Around him were half a dozen guards; glaring at him in hatred. It was not his choice to be here, in fact for the past few centuries he had purposely avoided coming near places like these. But now, the decision was out of his hands. He had been ordered to come here; allowed to bring only a small suitcase of belongings, which he held tightly in his hand.

You see, Angel witnessed something that very few people had; the transformation of an entire civilization. The small cities he had grown up in were lost; the way of life he had known was long forgotten. Now the world was in almost constant battle; the forces of good and evil always trying to gain the upper hand. Most humans were secured in small colonies that were scattered across the globe. They worked under a single group of superiors and never knew of the millions of other people inhabiting the earth. The numbers of their population had decreased severely, and the right to live where you pleased had been stripped from them. Almost everyone was forced to live in a colony somewhere in the world; most people were now born within the small cities, where they would spend the rest of their lives.

As for the demons, most of them had free reign. Those who fought for evil were rewarded; they did as they pleased and had no one to report to. However the demons that were peaceful lived an even more dangerous life. They were shunned by their kind if not killed as soon as they were exposed, but their fate if they turned to the humans was less than an improvement. They were never accepted and treated like animals. Some humans didn’t even care if you were peaceful; they simply saw all demons as a threat and would attack you at the first chance they got. Angel fit somewhere in this category.

He is a three hundred year old vampire, cursed with his soul by gypsies two centuries ago and he’d fought for the good ever since. He had lived in solitude, helping whenever he could, but never letting anyone close to him. He had only ever known a few tolerant humans that were willing to bargain for information, or the odd group of demons that had somehow managed to remain undiscovered. But even those were brief meetings; most of his days had been spent fighting off demons or alone in whatever apartment he was been staying at. Every few years he would have to move, usually across the country to avoid people getting suspicious. However, even with his private lifestyle, he had almost been killed several times after being discovered.

A few weeks ago, he had been living in what was left of New York; a city that was overrun by demons a few decades ago and now was mostly deserted, only a few bars and hotels left open. It wasn’t his favourite place to live, but he had been there for a few months and had found it a nice change from London where he had been before. London was practically a war-zone, everyone was suspicious of everything you did, and someone was always watching you. Because of the few people living in New York (and since most of them were “rebels” or people trying to escape the war) everyone mostly kept to themselves; and no one had ever really given Angel a second glance. Then one day, just before sunset, there was a knock on Angel’s door. Before he even had time to decide whether to answer it or not, they had already broken down the door and he’d found himself surrounded by dozens of fully armed warriors sent by the council.

The council is now one of the most powerful groups out there; divided throughout the world, they controlled all of the human cities and one of the major players in the war. They had demanded that he come with them to a colony in California (which ironically, was where their main base was located), allowing him to pack a single bag, before forcing him into the back of a black truck headed to his “new home”.

And that’s how he ended up here. Standing in front of the great walls that he knew surrounded the colony. It was nearly impossible for any uninvited demons to get in, the front gates were too massive to knock down and there were dozens of warriors posted there. After feeling one of his “escorts” kick the back of his foot, he reluctantly walked through the entrance. And as he heard the giant doors slam behind him he knew that was it. That he would never be able to walk through those doors again.


Two

After entering the colony, Angel was quickly lead to a large building a few blocks away. As he walked through the hallways he could tell that this wasn’t his apartment building. The halls were long and narrow and the walls were made from a silver metal that reflected the fluorescent lighting. After many twists, turns, and key cards, he was finally brought to a large room. The walls were no longer silver but white, covered with pictures of what Angel assumed were former council members. In the middle of the room was a large desk, made from steel with papers neatly resting on top of it. Behind it was two men. The first was seated at the desk, a larger man with a stern face, studying the papers before him. The second was taller and well built; his grey hair was cut short and was dressed in a black and white suit. His eyes were fixed on Angel’s, cold hatred burning within them. Angel held his gaze until the man finally turned to the other, clearing his throat in annoyance.

The larger man looked up from his papers, giving Angel an inquisitive look.

“Ah yes, Mr. Angel. Welcome to Colony 015. My name is Quentin Travers, as you may know I am head of the Council. This is my colleague Richard Garrison, he is what you would call second in command.” Standing up, Quentin crossed the room to stand a few feet in front of the vampire. “I’m pleased to see that you came quietly, I’m sure my men wouldn’t have enjoyed trying to sedate you.”

Angel clenched his jaw, his expression becoming unreadable.

“Well, I’m overjoyed that you are satisfied but all I’m interested in at this point is why the hell you brought me here.”

The taller man, Richard, turned red with anger.

“How dare you speak to us like that you ungrateful-”

“Now Richard,” Quentin started in a stern voice, “The vampire asked a reasonable question, and to answer it Mr. Angel, we brought you here because we know of your good deeds and think that you may be of more use here than your past residences.”

“That’s a lie and we both know it.” Angel said, glaring at the man.

“You’re right, it is. But lie or not it’s the only information on the matter you’re going to receive. Now, the locals have been alerted to your presence, they will know what you are and I will warn you that this colony is full of warriors and this is the base for the Council. You are not to become violent towards the inhabitants and are not to drink from any human while you’re here. You will be given a small apartment to stay in but you will have to find some way to get anything else you may need. Also, be aware that you will not be allowed to leave here and that because of the large number of warriors here, all who eventually report to us, we will know if you try anything.”

When Angel didn’t reply Quentin waved his hand.

“Very well, I’m assuming you understand the rules. These men will take you to your apartment and then you will be free to do as you wish.”

The men surrounding Angel quickly turned and started ushering him towards the door. With one final glance at the two leaders, Angel turned and followed the warriors down the halls.

Once they were outside, the men began leading Angel through the roads and he couldn’t help but notice the strange appearance of the city. The roads were paved, however the once black pavement had turned a light grey and cracks and potholes seemed to fill the streets. As expected, there were no cars of any kind on the road, nowadays it was really only council members who drove at all. They passed a few subway stations, which Angel guessed ran throughout the whole city, and although few people were outside at this time of night, there were small groups of people wandering around. Most of them wore plain, lightly coloured clothes, only a few of the teenagers seemed to wear vibrant colours. Another thing Angel noticed were the huge buildings around him. All of them seemed to be made of metals and it looked as though most of them were housing complexes. Angel had always heard that California was one of the most highly populated areas, but he had never thought that there would be enough people to fill that many buildings.

Suddenly, the sound of a loud motor broke Angel from his thoughts. He quickly looked around for the source of the noise, until his eyes came upon a small red motorbike coming towards them. The warriors around Angel halted as one of them; a tall black man, came forward as the bike slowed to a stop.

“Summers,” the black man started, “Mind telling me what you’re doing out here at this time of night?”

The biker reached up and removed their helmet, Angel could only stare in shock as their face came into view. Standing only a few feet away from him was the most beautiful women he had ever seen. Her hair was golden blonde, reaching just past her shoulders. She had fair skin and emerald green eyes that Angel knew he would never forget. There was something about this girl, a spark that seemed to illuminate everything around her. Angel had an incredible urge to protect her, ensure that no one would ever hurt the blonde goddess before him. After only seeing her for a few seconds, Angel was certain of one thing- he was completely and truly in love.

The blonde woman turned to the man who had questioned her,

“Gunn, hey. I was just heading back home. Having one of those late nights at the Bronze you know.”

The man, Gunn, gave her a chastising look.

“Buffy, you shouldn’t be out patrolling. If the council wanted you out on active duty you would be. You’re not ready.”

“What gives you the idea I was patrolling? I’m simply on my way home.” She replied, giving him her best innocent, puppy-dog eyes.

Gunn sighed,

“Whatever you say Summers. Get home and stop trying to-”

“-Do your job. I know, I know. Fine, you guys go along your merry little way; I promise I’ll scurry home.”

Deciding not to argue anymore, Gunn nodded to the men and started walking again. As Angel turned to glance at the blonde beauty, his eyes locked with hers. It was as though he could see into her very soul, watch as the many emotions rushed through her. Entranced, he could only stare at her, unwilling to move. It was only when one of the warriors pushed him forward that he was forced to break eye contact. Reluctantly turning, Angel started down the road again; slowly growing further and further from a woman he was sure would never remember him.

Little did he know, the small blonde warrior stared at his retreating form, her mind already filled with questions about the handsome stranger. Who was he? Why had he affected her so much? And how, after only a few moments, had he managed to get closer to her than anyone else had before?


Three

Buffy watched as the mysterious stranger faded into the distance. She was overwhelmed with so many emotions when she saw him; she had still yet to move from her position on her bike. He was without a doubt the most handsome man she had ever met; he had short, dark hair spiked up in a way only he could ever pull off. He was muscular and tall, dressed fully in black, but the thing that she couldn’t seem to get out of her mind is his eyes. Those deep, soulful, chocolate brown orbs that had been watching her so intensely. She had felt an enormously strong pull towards him, and when they had locked eyes it was something so unreal… like they could see into each other’s souls, she had felt his emotions as though they were her own. She could have sworn she had seen his eyes briefly flash gold when he was forced to start walking again, this and the connection that she now felt with a man she didn’t even know, had filled her mind with so much confusion and uncertainty that she wasn’t sure of what to do.

Shaking her head, she pulled on her helmet and started to speed through the streets of the city to the building that her surrogate father, Rupert Giles, called home. Buffy had never known her birth parents; she, like most other warriors, had been taken away from them at a very young age to be trained as a warrior. Giles was the closest thing she had to a father, he had trained her all of her life and knew her better than most people did. Warriors live with their trainers until they’re at least eighteen, Buffy, being just over nineteen, had moved out a few months ago.

She slowed to a stop as she reached the familiar house that she used to call home. Giles was one of the few trainers who had chosen to live outside one of the complexes, he had built his own library and gym inside the building to accommodate Buffy’s training and although the gym was similar to the ones in the complexes, the library he had built was enormous. Entering the large building, she looked around for the ‘stuffy British man’ shrugging, she decided on a different approach.

“GILES!” she yelled

A few moments later, an English voice rang out and a familiar man came into view.

“Buffy would you please stop yelling like that! It’s extremely unnecessary, I was in the library, all you had to was look.”

Buffy smiled,

“Could-a, would-a, should-a, didn’t.”

Giles sighed and walked back into the library.

“I do hope that you have something productive to share given how urgent your holler sounded.”

Buffy followed him and jumped up on his desk.

“Nope, not really. Patrol was as usual, a newbie vamp, no biggie though. Almost got caught by Gunn again, luckily he’s hopeless when it comes to the puppy-dog eyes.”

“Yes well, I have yet to meet anyone who is immune to your ‘puppy-eyes’ as you call them.”

“Just part of my irresistible charm.” With that her thoughts turned back to the stranger from before, her mind once again becoming perplexed.

“Buffy, are you alright?”

“What?” Buffy said, breaking from her thoughts. “Oh, ya I’m fine. Giles, is there anyone new coming into town?”

“Yes as a matter of fact. There was an announcement issued by the council yesterday, they’ve let a vampire into the compound. They assure us that he’s peaceful however it’s somewhat difficult to imagine a peaceful vampire.”

“What? A vampire? They let a vampire into the compound and no one even thought to tell me? You could have warned me you know, I should be on my guard all warrior like! I need to know these things Giles! It was important!” Buffy groaned and slumped into a nearby chair, the guy’s eyes did glow gold and now she knew why.

“Buffy I am sorry I didn’t tell you but I assumed you knew. But why are you so concerned, you’ve never bothered much with what goes on in the colony. Did something happen tonight?”

Buffy sighed, knowing that it was pointless to try to lie.

“I saw the guy on my way back. Gunn and his men were taking him somewhere; I didn’t even notice him until they started to go. He was staring at me, I looked at him and it was like…”

“Like what Buffy?”

“I can’t describe it Giles. It was like nothing I’ve ever felt before. I’ve been around vamps before, and this one- he’s different.”

“I see. Well if what the council says is true and he is in fact peaceful, that may have something to do with your strange reaction to him.”

“I guess. Look Giles, I’m majorly beyond tired so I think I’m just gonna head home okay?”

Giles sighed, knowing that she was avoiding the subject.

“Alright Buffy, sleep well. And remember if you need me, I’ll be right here.”

Buffy gave him a weak smile.

“Thanks, I’ll stop by tomorrow before I head out. Tell you if anything comes up.”

With that, Buffy quickly and headed out to her waiting bike. She quickly drove to the complex that she now called home. It was a large one, most of the residents were warriors like herself, but unlike most of them she had yet to be put on active duty. Giles took pity on her and allowed her to do brief patrols but technically she wasn’t permitted to do so; she mostly trained and took care of small non-demon problems. After parking her bike Buffy moved through the halls and up a few flights of stairs until she reached her apartment. She had purposely selected one away from other people, not wanting to have to worry about neighbours. At least that’s what she told Giles; really she was just sick of being treated like a kid, as most of the on-duty warriors considered her to be.

Sighing, she opened the door and threw her jacket on the couch. Her apartment was one of the typical designs. Most of the furniture was made from metal, and her fabrics were a gold colour with some bright red accents. She had a few photos here and there; some of Giles or her adopted sister Tara. But mostly the apartment was bare, even her bedroom was somewhat plain. It had a light orange and yellow colour scheme, but that’s mostly because Tara had insisted that Buffy “needed some colour”, and although Buffy had a few small knick-knacks scattered throughout the room it didn’t look very lived in.

After changing into her pyjamas, Buffy laid down on her bed, picking up her stuffed pig Mr. Gordo. Giles had given it to her as a birthday gift when she was four and it had been her best friend ever since. However sometimes not even her fuzzy pink friend could cheer her up. Truthfully, Buffy wasn’t always happy with her life. It revolved around Council’s orders and training, she didn’t have friends, she didn’t get to party, but most of all no one really knew who she was. Most people who met her just saw some warrior, but she was also a woman. She loved the colour pink and ice cream and had dreams when she was little; things that she wanted to do that she’d never have the chance to. Help people, see the world, buy a nice house somewhere, fall in love.

/Fall in love…/

The thought brought her back to her earlier experience with the man she saw. It was crazy; she didn’t even know him. He was a vampire and she was a warrior. Yet a big part of her really didn’t care. She wanted-needed to see him again, find out his name, why he’s here, hell she’d even bargain for his shoe size. Only he could give her the answers she needed, unfortunately at the moment, she wasn’t even sure if she knew the questions.

Banishing those thoughts from her mind, she rolled over and eventually fell to sleep. Maybe tomorrow things would get a little bit better...


Four

Rupert Giles was sitting in his dining room; having some tea and lunch while reading the latest council reports. Other than the arrival of the vampire, not much was going on. The details on the demon’s presence, however, were sketchy, leaving a lot of questions unanswered. Sighing he put down the papers and took a sip of his tea.

“Giles?”

The trainer looked up and almost choked on his drink. There, standing in the doorway, was Buffy, and given the look on her face he was unsure of whether to run and hide or gather her in a fatherly embrace. Her eyes were red and she looked as though she hadn’t slept at all, her expression was of both helplessness and frustration. Deciding to play it safe, Giles rose from his seat and looked at her with concern.

“Buffy. Are you all right? Here… sit down, would you like some tea?”

Buffy smiled at Giles’ offer,

“No thanks, although I’d love to have a nice soothing glass of british-y goodness, I’m really here to see Tara.”

“Oh, of course. She’s upstairs, in the parlour I believe.”

“Thanks.”

Buffy turned and started up the stairs in search of her friend. Tara was the same age as Buffy, her parents had died when she was young in an attack, and Giles had taken her in and raised her. She and Buffy had become inseparable for most of their lives, but when Buffy had to start her rigorous training she and Tara had grown somewhat apart. Although in the past few years she didn’t see her as much as she’d like, Buffy knew that she could go to her for anything. Now Tara worked for a childcare center in town and had chosen to remain living with Giles.

Reaching the parlour, Buffy found a light-brown haired woman sitting at a table; a book in one hand and a glass of water in the other.

“Hey.” Buffy said timidly.

The brunette looked up and quickly put aside her book.

“Buffy, hi! What are you doing here, Giles said you were going to be training with Faith and Gunn today.”

“I will be, I just wanted to talk to you first. But if you’re busy I can come back later, I don’t want to intrude or anything.”

“No, it’s fine! I was just catching up on some reading. What’s up... are you okay?”

Taking a deep breath, Buffy shook her head.

“Oh, come on sit down.” Tara said, leading her into a chair. “What happened?”

Buffy looked down at her hands.

“It’s stupid. I mean I only saw him for a couple seconds and I don’t even know who he is. And it’s not like I knew what he was I just thought he was a regular guy but he’s not, and then he walked away and now I can’t get him out of my head and-”

“Wow, Buffy just slow down okay? What are you talking about, who’s this guy?”

Buffy sighed,

“Yesterday, on my way back here from patrol? I ran into Gunn and his guys, Gunn knew I was patrolling but he let me off the hook. Then they started walking again and I saw this guy. I’ve never seen him around, he was the most gorgeous guy I’ve ever seen. He was looking at me and then I caught his eye and god, Tara it was like nothing I’ve ever felt before. I was a few feet away from him but I’ve never felt that close to anyone in my life! It was like he saw inside me, like he knew me better than I know myself. I didn’t even say anything and then he left.”

Tara was quiet for a moment, trying to process what her friend had just told her.

“Wow, okay well that’s good though right? I mean you know better than I do that people aren’t’ allowed to leave the colony, it’d be too much of a risk. So that means he’ll be around, maybe you’ll see him again.”

“That’s the problem Tara. Did you hear about that vampire that was sent here?” Tara nodded, “Well…”

A look of recognition crossed Tara’s features, soon to be replaced with shock.

“Oh.”

“And I can’t get him out of my head! I could barely sleep last night because I kept having dreams of him. I mean, I don’t even know him and he’s a vampire! God, you probably think I’m crazy.”

“No, not at all Buffy. Like you said you didn’t know he was a vampire, and if he wasn’t I know you… okay so you’d still be this paranoid but for different reasons.”

Buffy gave her a soft laugh,

“Gee thanks.”

“Oh come on, you know it’s true. But look at it this way, if the Council is letting him in he must be good right? And if he is then maybe it isn’t as big a deal as you’re making it.”

“Well sure if you’re going to go all logic on me.”

“I’m just trying to make you see another side to this. It’ll work out Buffy, just try not to worry about it so much.”

Buffy smiled.

“Alright I’ll try. Thanks for listening to my babble-fest. I’d better get home, get bit of sleep before dusk, promised Faith and Gunn I’d meet them downtown for a bit of training.”

“No problem Buffy, I’ll see you later.” Buffy nodded and turned to leave. “Oh and Buffy?”

“Ya?”

“You are going to have to tell me how this one turns out, I haven’t seen this much drama since a kid swallowed a hot-wheels car last year.”

Buffy laughed and headed out, Tara was right things would work out. Not that they could get much more complicated.

Meanwhile, Angel was facing some similar dilemmas of his own. The warriors, as ordered, had shown him to his new apartment and left immediately. He had let out a sigh of relief when he’d laid eyes on the place; the council had brought all his old furniture from New York. He looked through the apartment and although a lot of his more unimportant items were missing, most of it was here. Almost all of his furniture was made from wood, he had never been a huge fan of steel furnishings and although he knew it was all a plan to get on his good side, he was thankful to have what he would call a normal apartment. And as an added bonus, they had also brought a large chest that to the naked eye looked like it was filled with sheets, it was technically, but underneath that was his collection of weaponry. Crossbows, axes, stakes, knives, even a few of his favourite broadswords were buried inside.

However home furnishings weren’t his problem. He needed to get things for the apartment; first aid supplies, toiletries, and then there was the issue of figuring out how to get some pig’s blood. He, luckily, had acquired a large amount of money over the years, and still owned priceless art pieces from hundreds of years ago; therefore he didn’t need to work. But the challenge of figuring out where to shop and how to get there was proving to be more difficult than he thought. There was some form of a phonebook in the kitchen, a list of a few stores in town with their addresses and hours, but Angel had trouble finding ones that were open into the night. He was also finding it almost impossible to concentrate. His mind kept wandering to the petite blonde who he had seen the night before.

Because of what he was, he had made a habit of sleeping through most of the day. Now, it being close to noon, he’d had less than an hour’s sleep and was trying concentrate on the lists in front of him. Sighing he threw them across the table and started pacing; no matter how often he told himself to cool down he found the task almost impossible. Every time he closed his eyes, all he could see was her. By now everyone in the colony probably knew he was there, and he doubted she would react well if she found out what he was. Unfortunately it wasn’t an enormous colony, and given that no one would be leaving it anytime soon, chances were they would be forced to meet again. Angel could argue for hours over whether that was a good thing or not.

Growling in frustration, Angel picked up a nearby knife and threw it to the other side of the room. Running his hand through his hair, he resumed his pacing.

“Alright, remind me not to make you all too angry.” Said an unfamiliar, Irish voice.

Angel whipped around to see a short man with dark hair; he was dressed in a bright red shirt and brown jacket, immediately Angel knew something was different about him.

“Who are you?” Angel asks warily.

“Name’s Doyle.” The man says simply, walking around the apartment.

“You’re not human.”

“Half human to be exact. Nice place, a bit out of the ordinary… but I suppose that would apply to you as well.”

“Because I haven’t thrown you out or because you’re still standing?” Angel asked, hoping some subtle threats would convince the man to leave.

“Well, ordinarily after stepping into a strong and fairly grouchy demon’s apartment I’d have to say both, but I was thinkin’ more because of you having a soul. Not an ordinary thing among vampires.”

“What do you want?” Angel asked in a deadly tone.

“Just to talk. You see Angel; I’ve been here for years now. Me and a few pals snuck in a while back, and when you’ve been here for as long as I have you learn things.”

“What things?”

“Well for one, you know who to talk to if you wanna get info. But you also learn a lot about what it’s like to be different- a demon. Now for me, it’s not too bad, I can fit in as a human, but I’ve seen what happens to demons who are discovered and it’s not pretty. They’ll gang up on ya, if you’re lucky they’ll let you live. You thought the mobs you used to get were bad, these people can be worse. I came to warn you. Everyone knows what you are Angel, they’re going to come after you. Just remember, don’t fight back, if you kill any of ‘em you’re a dead man.” He paused slightly, before adding as an afterthought; “Oh, and watch out for the pipe it’ll give ya a nasty bruise you won’t soon forget.”

“Why are you telling me this?”

Doyle shrugged,

“I’ve seen enough peaceful demons get killed, I don’t wanna see another one get it. You could do some real good here though man, something’s tellin’ me we’re gonna see some great things from you.”

Angel was silent, staring at the stranger for a moment.

“Sorry, I’m not exactly the champion type. Thanks for the info, but if you don’t leave I’m going to have to start with the throwing out thing.”

“Gotcha man, I’ll see you around, and good luck to ya.” He laughed, heading out the door, “Powers that be, with that little spitfire around you’re to need it.”

Angel stared at the spot the half-demon had just occupied, to say the least he was confused. It wasn’t even as though his messages were all that cryptic, they were just… unfinished. Who were the powers that be? Who was the “spitfire”- a new enemy? And why the hell did he have to watch out for a pipe! Spotting something on the ground, Angel moved across the room to pick it up. It was a simple playing card, the queen of hearts; only instead of the typical portrait expected there was a picture of a demon turned to it’s right, and behind it, facing left, was a female. In her hand was a dagger of some kind; jewelled with red and white gemstones. Although the two figures were obviously separate, they seemed somehow intertwined. Sighing at what could either be a cryptic clue or just a card from a somewhat strange deck, he walked to his room and tossed it into one of his drawers, deciding on the latter for now.

After going over and over the strange messages in his mind, trying to decipher their meanings; and only to become more baffled, Angel turned to see that over an hour had passed. He went into his room and decided to read for a while until sunset arrived.

Hours later, when the sun had fallen and the light was safe enough to travel in, Angel headed downtown hoping to find some of the supplies he had been looking for. As he walked down the stairs and out the front door, Doyle stared after him.

“And so it has begun.”


Five

Angel walked through the still-busy streets in downtown, trying to find the local mall. Luckily, it was cloudy enough outside that he didn’t have to wait too long after the sun began to set before he could travel. But even with the dim light, he tried to keep to the shadows, wishing that he could just blend into his surroundings completely. However despite his efforts, most people who walked by him definitely noticed him; shooting confused or angered looks his way. Angel was not a fool, he knew that he would be recognized, but he’d always hated large crowds and all the attention on him was unnerving. Sighing, he once again looked around, hoping to find some indication of where he was. Then he felt it, a feeling as though something was about to happen. Something that would change (or possibly end) his unlife.

Angel looked up to see a group of at least half a dozen guys heading his was; none were looking happy to see him. They all seemed to fallow three other men, the tallest (who looked to be the leader) was about the same height as Angel; he had light brown hair and was wearing a camouflage outfit. Realising that he really had no place to run, and seeing a few of them pull weapons out of their coats, Angel groaned. Looks like he was about to meet the “spitfire” that Doyle had referred to... He couldn’t have been more right.

Meanwhile, Buffy was in the very middle of the downtown, blocking punches from a fairly strong and well-trained brunette. She had met up with Gunn and Faith to train, as promised, and at the moment she was thankful that she had managed to get a few hours of needed rest after going home again.

Buffy had known Faith for most of her life, they had started training together when they were twelve. Faith, like Gunn, had been put on active duty several years back and was usually assigned to take care of the demon problems. She was pretty wild but followed orders well, she and Gunn often worked together on assignments, they had known each other all their lives and got along like brother and sister. Even with their busy schedules, Gunn and Faith still trained with Buffy on occasion. Most would find their meeting place strange, considering they were practically in the middle of town in the open, but there was a small platform there that they often used. It also allowed Faith and Gunn to keep their eye on the city (because it was so high up), and gave them a few minutes head start over the other warriors if something were to go wrong.

Buffy dodged a punch from Faith, retaliating with her own side-kick.

“I just don’t get why the council refuses to put me on duty!” she complained, blocking Faith’s attacks. “I mean, I’m older than either of you two were when you were put on patrols!”

“Don’t worry about it B, your turn will come.” Faith said, attempting to hit Buffy in the gut.

Buffy dodged to attack before jumping up and landing a kick to the brunette’s side.

“But there’s no reason why I shouldn’t be out there!”

“Kid you know how it works,” Gunn said, “They’ll call you when you’re ready. I mean come on, both Faith and I can still beat you.”

Buffy took a second to glare at him,

“Ya, and you two have also been on duty for years now, you’ve had way more experience than me.”

“That’s not the only problem Buffy, not that you don’t sneak out to patrol anyway. You’re speed could use work, your technique is way off, not to mention your form. And your concentration is all over the place, you always should be ready to defend yourself-”

Gunn didn’t have time to finish his statement before a fist collided with his jaw. Before he could react, he found himself flat on his back, the girl in question standing over him.

“What was that you were saying about ‘always being ready’?” she asked smirking.

“Lucky shot.” Gunn said, getting up, trying not to groan at the throbbing pain coming from his jaw.

He looked up at Faith who was laughing whole-heartedly at him.

“Wow Charlie-boy, for someone so bad at fighting, it looks like she just knocked you flat on your ass.”

“Come on Faith, you know as well as I do that Buffy’s not ready to start patrolling. And you shouldn’t be sneaking out either kid, if anyone but me found out about it you’d be in some major trouble.”

Buffy was about to protest when a strange feeling swept over her. A feeling of utter dread emerging from her very soul; the sense that something was going horribly wrong. Panicked, she looked around, scanning the streets for anything out of place. Then she saw it. A group of people crowded around someone, weapons flashing throughout them.

“Gunn!”

Her two companions came over to her, gasping slightly at the sight before them.

“A mob.” Faith said, turning to her partner.

Gunn nodded.

“Looks like civilians, we’re gonna need backup for this. Buffy stay here, Faith and I have to get the others.”

Buffy opened her mouth to reply, but then a slight opening in the crowd emerged. Buffy saw a man with dark hair in the middle of it all, his face was shadowed but immediately she knew who it was.

“Oh my god.”

Without a second thought Buffy started off towards the crowd, but a firm grip on her arm stopped her.

“Buffy listen to me, this is dangerous you’re not a part of this. It’s our job, let us do it. Stay here” Gunn said, giving her an intimidating look.

Buffy sighed and withdrew slightly, but the moment Gunn released his grip on her she pulled away and kicked him square in the chest, his body falling backwards from the unexpected attack. She quickly took off, ignoring the protests coming from behind her and ran as fast as she could towards the crowd.

Angel hurt. Everywhere. After the commando-wannabes showed up they were soon joined by several of the residents; all who were out for blood. Angel had tried to fight them off but there were too many. He was now on the ground, trying to move away, but his efforts only ended in vain. Everywhere he turned someone was there, hit after hit his strength lessened, he couldn’t get a good look at how many were there before someone else would come beating down on him. Angry yells pounded in his ears, each word filled with hatred. He looked up and saw a steel pipe coming his way; he tried moving away, but could only let out a scream of pain when it came down on him.

It seemed as though the pain would never end, then he saw someone advancing on him, the leader that started this whole thing. In his hand was a large wooden stake, the man raised his arm, preparing to end Angel’s unlife. The vampire cringed, waiting for the devastating blow. That’s when it happened.

An arm came out of nowhere, stopping the stake mere inches from his heart. He looked up to see a petite woman kick the leader in the gut, sending him several feet backwards. He was amazed when her face came into view, it was the blonde goddess he had met before. He could only stare as she fought off his attackers, blocking their attacks and landing her own.

Buffy was enraged. As soon as she had seen Angel’s injuries, any amount of self-control she possessed snapped. It had almost awakened something inside of her, a primal force giving her strength she didn’t know she had. It didn’t matter who they were, all that mattered is that they had hurt the man who had stolen her heart. She drove them back, blocking and delivering attacks as though it were second nature. Her eyes came upon a familiar face; it was the man who had tried to stake Angel.

“Riley!” she yelled, with such anger that everyone around her froze.

“Buffy?” Riley asked surprised.

“What the HELL do you think you’re doing?” she yelled.

Behind her, Angel almost smirked at her tone. For reasons unknown to him, she was pissed about this, and there was definitely going to be hell to pay.

“It’s not what you think.” Riley said quickly.

“Oh really? Well that’s great ‘cause it looked like you were about to kill an innocent man!”

“Buffy you don’t understand, he’s a vampire!”

Angel cringed, if the woman, Buffy, as the man had called her, was willing to help him before he highly doubted she would be too fond of him now.

Buffy advanced on Riley, getting up in his face. Those around her couldn’t help but feel intimidated by the 5-foot, something blonde.

“I know what he is Riley. And I’m telling you to stay the hell away from him.” She turned, regarding the people around her. “All of you listen up! This vampire is under my protection. NO ONE is to hurt him and if ANY of you even THINK of harming him in any way, shape, or form, I WILL hunt you down and make you wish you’d never been born.”

Suddenly terrified of the blonde (and knowing by her expression that her threats were anything but empty) any remaining civilians fled quickly, leaving Buffy and the wounded vampire alone with Riley and his comrades.

Turning her attention to the injured stranger, Buffy slowly bent down to him, her disposition immediately changing. Carefully, she reached her hand forward and lightly caressed his cheek. Almost not believing what was happening, Angel looked up into her eyes, surprised at the concern he found there. She offered him a weak smile before coming closer to him and carefully resting his head on her lap, gently stroking his hair.

“It’s okay. You’re safe now.” She said, whispering lightly to him.

Angel was shocked at first, not knowing how to react. But a part of him instinctively knew that he could trust her, sighing, he relaxed under her touch.

“Buffy!”

Buffy looked up to see Gunn, Faith, and a few other warriors rushing towards them, weapons drawn and shocked expressions plastered on their faces. Coming only a few feet from Buffy, Gunn eyed her curiously.

“Buffy, what happened?”

Buffy looked up at him.

“Riley and these goons attacked this man, a bunch of civilians decided to join in on the party. Riley was about to stake him when I got here, I managed to fight them off.”

“You mean you fought all those people off?”

Buffy didn’t reply, merely shot daggers at Riley.

“He’s a vampire, I was trying to do my job.” Riley said defensively.

With a glance at the fallen vampire, Buffy slowly got up, brining her companion with her. Angel groaned at the pain that shot through him at the movement, she quickly put her arm around him for support. Once Angel was steadied, Buffy let go of him slowly, before walking towards Riley.

“Riley?” she asked, her voice sweet.

“Ya?”

A crack whipped through the air as Buffy’s fist collided with the warrior’s nose, knocking him off balance and to the ground.

“That is for so NOT doing your job!” before he could get up, she punched him again. “And that is for what you did to him!”

“Buffy!” Faith warned, surprised at her usually peaceful friend’s actions.

“After what he did he’s lucky he still has all his body-parts intact.” She said bitterly.

Turning away from them, Buffy put her arms around Angel again.

“Can you walk?”

Angel nodded. Leaning on the blonde warrior for support, the two of them slowly made their way across town. Leaving the others staring at their retreating forms, stunned into silence.


Six

The two strangers silently walked across town, ignoring the curious glances sent their way. Buffy walked at a slow pace, allowing Angel to lean on her for support. She was furious with Riley for what he had done, although she knew that vampires healed quickly, Angel would need a day or two to be able to walk normally; and from what she saw he had several deep gashes on his ribs. What probably annoyed her most, however, is the fact that even though she didn’t even know his name and he was severely injured, Buffy couldn’t get her mind off the handsome stranger beside her. She couldn’t help but sneak looks at the vampire, he was even more gorgeous up close than she’d thought; that and the draw she felt towards him seemed to trap her mind in lusty thoughts. Thoughts that were somewhat new to her, but also ones she’d been taught to avoid.

‘Get a grip Summers!’ she thought, ‘He’s just a guy! A very handsome guy maybe... with nice hair and deep, penetrating eyes and those lips-‘

Remembering all too well where that sentence leads, Buffy shook her head and continued walking.

Beside her Angel paced along tensely; every nerve seemingly hypersensitive. Despite the enormous amount of pain he was in, he couldn’t get his mind off the blonde woman that was so near. His arm was wrapped around her shoulders and because of it, his whole body was desperate for more contact; the urge to take her into his arms becoming almost unbearable. Out of the corner of his eye, he saw her turn to look at him again. She had been doing it since they’d started walking, staring at him when she thought he couldn’t see her. He figured either he was beat up bad (and really looked like it) or she was having more doubts about what he was than she’d let on. Either way, Angel was not exactly eager to find the reasoning behind her glances.

He knew he should say something; ask her why she saved him or at least thank her for it, but he was at a complete loss of words. No one had ever shown him that kind of compassion before, most people he met didn’t even acknowledge that he existed. Yet she had just saved his life, after he had done nothing for her at all. And from his initial “meeting” with the inhabitants, he got the impression that these people weren’t all that understanding when it came to demons. He searched his mind for something to say; anything that would break the silence, but his mind drew a blank. Figures, after three hundred and some odd years of existence he was unable to find a way to say a simple thanks.

His thoughts were interrupted, however, when they reached a metal door at the far end of a housing complex.

“It’s my apartment.” She said simply, entering a small combination into a nearby keypad. “Here, come in.”

To say the least Angel was in shock. He’d expected her to take him to the council, maybe drop him off at a bar if he was lucky, her home was the last place he’d expected her to bring him, never mind invite him inside. Stepping through the door he looked over at her, questions swarming his mind. She shrugged in response, throwing her jacket onto a nearby couch.

Buffy looked over to Mr. tall, dark and handsome (which was the name she’d silently given him on the walk here), roughly assessing his injuries. He was beat up pretty bad to say the least, but she was mostly worried about his ribs.

“Follow me.” She said, carefully taking his arm.

Slowly, she led him into her bedroom and sat him down on her bed. She turned on a nearby lamp, slightly illuminating the room. She quickly went into the closet and retrieved her first aid kit (which she now used bi-nightly) from the top shelf. Getting up again, she turned to him.

“It looks like your ribs got it pretty bad, take your shirt off, I’ll be right back.”

Going into the bathroom, she filled a bowl full of water, picked up a clean cloth and headed back towards her room. Upon reaching the doorway, it took all the willpower she possessed not to jump him right there. His shirt had been discarded to reveal washboard abs and strong muscles that most guys would kill for. Taking a deep breath, she set the bowl on her night table and examined his wounds. He had a deep gash on his ribs and bruises covering his arms and back. Based on how he was walking she could only guess that his leg was at least sprained, if not worse. Slowly, she began washing his injuries before dressing them and moving onto the next. After finishing with the visible scratches she re-wet the cloth and slowly raised it to his eye. He flinched away slightly, a look of distress briefly flashing through his eyes.

“Sorry. You have a cut on your eye.” Seeing his expression she continued, “It’s alright, this might sting a bit but I won’t hurt you.”

Hesitantly, he nodded, and she carefully started to clean the cut.

“Thank you.” He said quietly, his deep voice startling her.

“What for?”

Smiling slightly, Angel looked at her,

“You saved my life today. I know that a thank you is pretty pathetic considering, but I’m kinda new at this whole concept.”

Buffy took a deep breath, doing her best to concentrate on cleaning the cut.

“What they were doing was wrong, you didn’t deserve it.” She said simply.

“You don’t know that.” He said, his usual habit of brooding creeping back.

Buffy gathered her supplies and stood up; looking him in the eyes as she gave him a small smile.

“Ya, I do.”

Angel stared at the now empty doorway; he wasn’t sure how to react to that. Sighing, he ran his hands through his hair.

“I’m Buffy by the way.” She said, returning to the room. “Buffy Summers.”

“Angel.”

Buffy raised an eyebrow at his response.

“You’re name is Angel?”

Angel smirked,

“Says the woman named Buffy.”

“Hey, I happen to like my name thank you very much. And I didn’t mean it as an insult, I like your name- it’s pretty... and rather fitting.” She said, adding the last part under her breath.

“What?”

“Nothing.” Looking around the room, Buffy sighed the silence once again creeping up on the couple.

“Look I appreciate the help, really I do. I’d better get going back to my place though.” Angel said, rising to get up.

Buffy quickly moved to stand in front of him.

“Excuse me?”

“Ya, my place is just across town and-“

“And you honestly think I’m letting you go? You can barely walk, and I happen to know that a deep gash to the ribs tends to hurt a bit.”

“I’ll be fine.”

“What you’ll be is here! I’ll close the curtains and you will lie down and get some much-needed rest. I’m going out to do a few things, and when I get back you’ll still be right here in a deep, peaceful slumber.”

“Buffy, really it’s okay-“

Buffy gave him a deadly glare, folding her arms over her chest.

“Look, those guys who attacked you are still out there, and there’s nothing saying if you walk home alone you’ll be okay. I just saved your life, and I’m sure as hell not going to let you just throw it out the window, because you have some freaky pride issues. You’re going to stay here and you’re not leaving until I say you’re well enough to go. Not only that, but when I get back you will be asleep or I won’t hesitate to knock you over the head with an extremely heavy object, that may or may not cause you even more severe brain damage than you obviously already have. Either way, you’re sticking around for a while, even if it means being unconscious for the duration of your stay!”

Angel stared at her, his mouth hanging open slightly. He, the great Angelus: Former Scourge of Europe, was being threatened by a five foot something blonde who was less than a tenth of his age. Sighing, he laid down and looked up at her, putting his hands up in surrender.

“Scary part is, those probably aren’t empty threats are they?”

Buffy gave him a cheery smile, taking out a jacket from her closet.

“Nope, thank you for your cooperation. I’ll be back soon, sleep! Or you’ll be facing the wrath of my frying pan.”

Chuckling, Angel put his head back and listened as she turned to the front door.

“You really are impossible!” he shouted, as he heard the door open.

Buffy peeked her head in the doorway and smiled,

“Yep, it’s all apart of my spitfire personality that I just know you’re gonna love.”

With that she left, locking the door and leaving a stunned Angel sitting straight up on the bed behind her. Remembering Doyle’s words and the almost sympathetic laugh that had followed, everything seemed to click. Falling back on the pillows, he let out a groan; almost wishing she’d knocked him out. There was no doubt about it… He was totally and officially hopeless.


Seven

When Buffy returned a few hours later, it was well into the early morning. The sun would no doubt be up in a couple hours, which would mean that Angel would be stuck inside- with her- alone- all day long; the very thought brought a smile to her face. Of course, there was a small nagging part of her brain that told her he might have already run away, but that was just the sweetest part of her plan. The only two ways he could leave is a) if he’d left when she went out, or b) if he tried leaving later (when the sun would be up) either way; he would be a pile of dust before noon.

Buffy shook her head, realising what she was saying. She barely knew this man, yet she had this overwhelming sense of protectiveness over him. Like he was hers, only hers, and she’d die before letting anyone hurt him; and that alone scared her more than she dared to admit. All her life, Buffy had done her best to shut out her feelings. If something bothered her she kept it silent, always burying things inside herself. She kept her heart closed off from the world and never let anyone in. Giles and Tara were the people who really knew her at all, but even with them she held back. Never letting anyone close enough to hurt her; always keeping the world an arms length away. Then he came.

In only a few hours Angel had already sent most of her beliefs into chaos. Her ideas about vampires were quickly changing, and after the attack, her outlook on warriors as well. All the walls she’d built around her heart began tumbling down the second she’d laid eyes on him; and it wasn’t stopping. It was like he had crept his way inside her, and was now flowing through her every thought- every nerve, and no matter how hard she tried she could not stop or deny the feelings that were now overwhelming her. She wasn’t even sure if she wanted to.

Sighing, she punched in her key-code and crept into the apartment. Everything seemed as she’d left it, carefully setting her bags on the coffee table, she moved through the apartment and started to close the curtains. Picking up one of her bags she tiptoed into her room, and almost gasped at what she saw. There was Angel, sprawled out on her bed, topless with the moonlight shining over his features.

His expression was one of utter peace; like that of a child- innocent and free. Her eyes were glued to him, all she could think about was what it’d be like to wake up next to that face everyday. Entranced, she moved across the room; setting her bag on the floor as she knelt down next to the bed. She slowly reached up and carefully touched his face; almost afraid to touch him in fear that he’d disappear. Timidly, she ran her hand down his cheeks to his jaw, cupping his face in her hand. This was the first time she’d really touched him at all and she was drawn to him like a magnet. The moment her skin met his it was like her blood was singing, almost screaming at her to get closer.

Slowly Angel stirred; usually after he awoke he had a good sense of awareness, knew what had happened and where he was, but the moment he became even a little alert, his mind seemed to freeze. He immediately felt the hand on his cheek; without opening his eyes he turned his face slightly to nuzzle it, his body aching to pull whatever creature this was closer. Becoming semi-aware, he opened his eyes to find them staring into emerald green orbs. The two stared at each other for a few moments, both entranced.

“Buffy?” Angel asked softly, as though just recognizing who she was.

Realizing the position she was in, Buffy quickly pulled her hand away and looked to the floor, her face turning a deep shade of red.

“Sorry.” She mumbled, quickly turning her attention to the bag she’d brought with her. “Umm, I just came in, to make sure that you were alright. God, I’m sorry for waking you I should have waited until morning-”

“It’s fine Buffy” Angel said, cutting off what he already recognized as what could lead to babbling.

Shyly, Buffy stood up.

“So how are you? Are you alright?”

“Ya… it hurts a little, but it’s not a big deal.”

“Oh. Well that’s good, I guess.” Shifting her feet uncomfortably, Buffy set the brown-paper bag onto the night table. “Here… it’s blood. I stopped by the butcher’s on my way back, I think it’s pig’s blood or something. I wasn’t sure how you fed and you obviously can’t go get it yourself and I’ve heard that it helps vampires heal quickly, which is good in your case ‘cause hey, you have all these injuries and stuff. Not that you’re not healing quickly- because you are it’s just that… you know.”

“Thank you. I usually go to the butcher’s, I just haven’t been able to find one since I came here.” Angel said, giving her a faint smile; noticing her nervousness. Inside the thought of him feeding around her made him more than uncomfortable, but he ignored the feelings for her sake.

“Well umm, I’m getting tired so I’ll just leave you alone. I’m going to get some sleep, I’ll be in the living room if you need anything.” Buffy said, moving to the door.

“Wait!” Angel said, Buffy turned back to stare at him. After a few moments he realised that she probably wanted a reason not to leave. “This is your room, you shouldn’t have to sleep on the couch. I’ll move- you sleep here.”

“No Angel it’s fine, you’re injured and I totally don’t mind.”

“No, it’s your house and you deserve to sleep in your own bed.”

“Angel-”

“I insist.” He said, giving her a look that left no room for arguing.

Buffy stared at him for a moment before smirking, an idea popping into her head. She didn’t want him to sleep on the couch but she also wasn’t fond of the idea of fighting with him all night. So she decided to try a different approach. Shrugging, she pulled off her shoes and her sweater leaving her dressed in sweatpants and a VERY small tank top.

“Fine, you win.” She said simply.

She crossed the room and grabbed a nearby stake, setting it on the night table on the opposite side of her bed; she could feel Angel’s questioning gaze on her. Yawning, she climbed into the bed next to him; snuggling into his chest and pressing her body comfortably (and suspiciously) close to his, before gently closing her eyes.

Angel however, for what seemed like the zillionth time tonight was beyond shocked. He took in shaky unneeded breaths, his body crying out for hers. Unsure of what to do, he began to get up but was stopped by a small hand on his arm.

“Get up and I’ll stake you.” Buffy said drowsily, pulling him back down and moving even closer to him.

Sighing, Angel gave up on his argument of personal space, and decided to swallow his pride. He wrapped his strong arms around her petite frame and closed his eyes, waiting until she was slumbering before he too, let sleep take him.

It wasn’t until late the next day when Buffy awoke. As the memories of last night came rushing back to her she opened her eyes, letting out a yawn, she started to get up; but froze as she realised the position she was in. Through the night she and Angel had both shifted positions, he was lying on his back, with his arms wrapped securely around her. Her head was pillowed on his chest and her arms were around his large frame. Their legs had tangled somewhat, leaving Buffy blushing at the intimacy of their position. Almost unwillingly, she carefully untangled herself from him, doing her best not to wake the sleeping vampire. Getting up she decided to save her coffee for later and after picking some clothes from her dresser, she headed straight for the bathroom for a very, very cold shower.

A half-hour later, Buffy emerged from the bathroom, dressed in a pair of jeans and a simple white shirt; with a curved neckline and long sleeves. Slowly, she padded to the kitchen and made herself a coffee. After adding milk and an outrageous amount of sugar (as Giles had told her on many occasions), she began sipping the caffeine-filled beverage. But before she had even half-finished it, she heard a small ringing. Letting out a sigh, Buffy put down her mug and went into the living room, picking up her small silver cell phone. It was a fairly rare thing for people to have cells anymore (since it was such a small community) but after she had moved out, Giles had insisted she get one so that he could get a hold of her.

“Hello?” she said, finally picking up.

“Buffy, it’s about time, what on earth happened to you?” said a familiar British voice. “I’ve been trying to call you all morning!”

“Sorry Giles, I had a late night, slept in.”

She heard an annoyed sigh coming from the other end.

“So, did you just call me to interrupt my morning coffee or is there like an apocalypse brewing? Because if there is I am so gonna need more ice cream.” She said, yawning. Her early-morning grouchiness getting the best of her.

“Buffy quit acting childish, of course there is a reason for my call.” Giles snapped, getting Buffy’s attention.

“Okay, what’s going on? ‘Cause you’re seriously giving me the wiggins right now.”

“I received a call from the council today. They found out about your hostility yesterday and demand to see you.”

“What? Hostility? If anyone was being hostile it was those people, I was just keeping them from killing someone!”

“A vampire if I recall correctly, yes? You are to report to the head office now, Mr. Travers and Mr. Garrison will meet you there.” Pausing slightly, he continued in a softer voice. “Please Buffy, be careful and keep your remarks to yourself.”

Understanding her trainer’s warnings Buffy nodded.

“I will be. I’ll come by after the meeting.”

“Alright Buffy, but remember the council will not tolerate your attitude as much as others may.”

With that, the line went dead. Sighing, Buffy quickly scribbled a note for Angel and after grabbing her jacket and helmet headed out the door. Usually if someone messed up you were told to report to one of the on-duty warriors, rarely was anyone to meet with the heads of council; even Buffy had only seen them once in her life. Only those who were in big trouble were asked to see them. Buffy let out a groan; it was going to be a long day.


Eight

The sound of a motor ripped through the air as Buffy sped towards the council’s headquarters. The bright afternoon sun assaulted her eyes as she drove, willing for clouds to cover the sky. Being the kind of person she is, Buffy usually went out in the early evening and night, avoiding going out in the middle of the day. Usually she was either sleeping or training during the day, and when she was in the sun everyone could see her; over the years Buffy had been forced to bury her more social side and was now more than a little uncomfortable in the spotlight. At night she couldn’t help but feel free, it was as though it awakened an ancient force within her; one that would not be silenced unless she was in the moonlight.

Snapping out of her thoughts, Buffy looked up at the large building ahead. She grimaced as she noticed the security standing at the front doors, no doubt sent to escort her inside. Reluctantly, Buffy pulled up by the building and stepped off her bike. As she walked towards the doors security moved both in front and behind her, forcing her to follow them. Buffy suppressed a groan; these Brits could be such drama queens.

Back in her apartment, Angel began to drift into consciousness. Slowly he opened his eyes; fear momentarily flooding him as he woke up in the unfamiliar room. Looking around, he stopped when the scent of vanilla surrounded him. As his memories returned he looked beside him, his eyes widening as he realised the lack-of Buffy beside him. Quickly he got up, panic rising within him. Was she hurt? Had the council taken her away for helping him? Did she decide she wants nothing to do with him after all? Subconsciously he knew it was silly to be so worried about her, but his heart told a different story. Frantically, he searched the apartment, his panic turning into cold fear as he realised she was gone. Walking into the kitchen, however, he spotted a note lying on the counter. Carefully picking it up, he read the loopy writing.

Angel,

Good Morning- or afternoon by now. I hope you slept alright I tried not to wake you when I left, you really do need the rest. My trainer called and I have to stop by Headquarters. I should be back before nightfall, stay inside! Feel free to use the shower (down the hall, to your right) and/or raid my kitchen for any yummy-goodness you may desire. Oh! And I put your blood in the fridge (I hope that’s okay, I figured it may be a good idea).

See you later,

-Buffy

PS: I forgot to mention, be careful where you sit down- I have a bad habit of leaving the occasional stake lying around. Sorry!

Angel stared at the paper, a smile creeping across his features. He didn’t know why she had thought to give him a note, but the small gesture slightly warmed his unbeating heart. She cared, even if it was in a small way. And knowing that she’s alright brought him more relief than he was ready to admit. Heading into the kitchen, he pulled his blood out of the fridge and after quickly heating it in the microwave (the one appliance he knew how to work) he sat down and began drinking from a bright pink mug while re-reading her note.

As he looked over her words his brow furrowed, she said that she had to go to Headquarters. Angel remembered his visit there, the security was really tight, and he seriously doubted people just stopped in for a visit. Was she in trouble for helping him? And who was her ‘trainer’? Granted, he hadn’t known her very long and had realised that she wasn’t your typical colonist, but a trainer for what exactly? It was clear that she was some kind of warrior (which was a surprise in itself, given her petite frame) but then why did others seem to regard her as a child? So far he’d seen her around the man, Gunn, who spoke to her like some irrational kid, and then again when the others had arrived after Buffy saved him. The older men and women had looked at her in disbelief and disregarded her once Riley had opened his mouth.

He was tempted to look through her things a bit- to help figure her out, but he had an odd feeling that it would be the last time he ever snooped, or walked properly, if she found out. From what he’d seen of her, he guessed she was in her late teens or early twenties, and although he knew he could physically beat her in a fight when he was at his best, he could tell that she was not one to aggravate when you weren’t able to run very fast. There was something about her though, besides his obvious attraction to her, that Angel sensed. It was small, buried under centuries of memories. Although he couldn’t pinpoint what, he was certain that something was different about her.

“Different. Great observation there Sherlock, never would have guessed that one.” He said to himself, beginning to pace around the kitchen.

Realizing that all he was going to do is put a hole in her floor, Angel headed into down the hall to her shower. Hopefully it’d help take his mind off her for a while; although the very idea made even the brooding vampire laugh. Taking a shower in a place where he knew for a fact she was naked a few hours before? Ya, that would take his mind off her for sure.

Back at headquarters, Buffy was lead down the long halls by a small group of warriors. Their uniforms told her that they were part of the council’s more elite force, more like soldiers really. When she was younger, she and most of the other warriors were sent to a battle just outside of the colony. They had been put into vans and had no idea where they were going (due to the darkened windows) and by the time they got there it was too dark to see. She could remember watching them fight, and even now: years later she was unsure of her reaction. She had been partially in awe, they worked quickly and efficiently but they seemed a lot like robots; their emotions cut off and they left no room for individuality. For a lot of warriors, the elite force was a goal- an honour to be on. Buffy, however, wasn’t quite sure if it’d be an honour or a curse.

After what was not nearly long enough, Buffy was pushed into a large room, the door was quickly slammed shut behind her.

“That was rude.” She muttered, regaining her balance.

As she looked around she noticed that the walls were now white, and the room was almost empty except for a large silver desk in the center of the room. As she remembered the way that Gunn was coming from a few days before, she wondered if Angel had been brought here. Buffy quickly shook her head, realizing that it wasn’t the time to get into those kind of thoughts again. Sighing, she began pacing slowly, already bored of the annoyingly bright room.

Her boredom was short lived, however, when a door on the other side of the room opened; a figure emerging from the entrance. He was strapping and tall, his hair was grey and cut short and his clothes were black and white. He had an undeniable scowl plastered on his face; Buffy decided that she didn’t like this guy.

“Ms. Summers I presume?” he said, in a rather loud voice. “You’re late.”

“Oh, ya, sorry about that. My trainer couldn’t get a hold of me-”

“You’re lazy. And obviously have little or no regard for authority figures.”

“Excuse me?” Buffy said, anger rising within her. “If I recall correctly, I was the one stuck standing here for the past five minutes.”

The man’s face turned a bright shade of red at her words.

“My name is Richard Garrison, and I am a exceedingly respected member of the council so I highly suggest you watch your mouth girl. Now sit down and shut up!”

Remembering Giles’ earlier warnings, Buffy did as she was told.

“We received a report yesterday from Riley Finn.” He said, picking up a nearby file. “It stated that you attacked his team and several civilians yesterday. A few of the civilians received mild bruises and were treated; however Riley was reported with numerous injuries. Several bruised ribs, his nose broken in multiple places, not to mention dozens of small bruises all over his body. You wouldn’t happen to know anything about this would you Miss Summers?”

Buffy sat there shocked for a few moments before replying.

“That was so not all my fault! The civilians weren’t backing off, and Riley did more than his share of damage before I even got there.”

“You broke his nose Summers! Please feel free to tell me how that’s his fault!” Richard yelled, throwing the file onto the desk.

“What he was doing was wrong!”

“By your standards!” Richard came up to her, his face inches from hers. “You are not on duty! It was not your place to intervene nor to make decisions on what is right and wrong. Riley is a senior officer and it is your job to stay out of his way!”

“He almost killed Angel!”

“Oh yes!” Richard threw his hands into the air. “Angel, the vampire correct? You attacked warriors on your own side to defend a hostile. This is not the way to get attention and you’re breaking more than a few regulations. He is a vampire, we do not defend creatures like him.”

“But you said so yourself he’s not dangerous! He was helpless! There was an angry mob beating him and he didn’t even try to retaliate!”

“This is not up for discussion!” Richard once again picked up the file and leafed through it. “The circumstances in this case are irrelevant. You assaulted a senior officer and several civilians and you will now have to face the consequences. You will write a letter of apology to Mr. Finn and it will be delivered by the end of the week and signed by him to ensure that it is to his satisfaction. You are to stay off the main streets from midnight to six a.m. for the next few weeks. Also, for the remainder of the month you are not to be seen riding that offensive motorcycle, you will take it home today and no one will here it’s motor for the next month. You will stay at least ten feet away from any members if Riley’s team for the next week and will not attempt to get any form of ‘payback’. You are also, until further notice, no longer allowed to see or speak to Mr. Charles or Ms. Faith.”

Buffy stared at the man before her, suppressing the urge to wipe the annoying smirk off his face. Slowly standing, she turned to leave not trusting herself to speak. She headed to the door but stopped when she heard his voice.

“Oh, and this incident will be noted on your permanent record. I hope that it was worth it Miss Summers because this will be seriously taken into account if anyone is to ever consider letting you on duty. However given the circumstances, I highly doubt that will ever become a problem.”

“Meaning?” Buffy gritted out, unknowingly clenching her fists.

“Meaning, the day that the council lets a brat like you on active duty; will be the day that I die.”

With her last ounce of self-control, Buffy walked out the door; silently vowing that some day she would prove him wrong. Sighing, she left the building, until then she’d have to settle with beating up Giles’ punching bag for a few hours. Looking at her watch, she got on her bike and sped towards her trainer’s house, willing to get the lecture over with that would undoubtedly follow her report of events. She inwardly groaned, wondering if falling off the edge of the earth seemed like such a bad idea after all.


Nine

“No regard for authority, it was not your duty to intervene, Riley is a senior officer, you’re lazy… this from the loser who sits on his butt all day when everyone else is stuck cleaning up HIS messes!” Buffy grumbled, hitting the leather bag yet again.

She had gone straight to Giles’ after her “meeting” and started working out, avoiding the library (where he’d inevitably be) completely on her way to the gym. She had been working out for over an hour, showing no mercy to the punching bag before her. Garrison’s words had infuriated her, giving her the incredible urge to do some serious damage. The nerve of him to talk to her like that, completely forgetting the situation and focusing on poor Riley’s bloody nose. Not to mention her punishments; taking away the closest people she actually has to friends, and how was she supposed to write an apology letter to Riley when she still wanted to punch his face in? And taking away her bike was more than a little annoying, there’s no reason for her not to have it, and it’s the only real way she has to get around.

But besides the snide comments and unfair judgements, one of the things that enraged her the most (besides his reaction to Angel) was her new ‘curfew’. The only reason she’s been able to last this long off duty is because of her late-night patrols. Even if all she got was a pissed off drunk, at least she could do something! Every night it seemed like she was driven by this unknown force, one that would scream at her to get outside and hunt. She’d always assumed it was a part of all warriors, something that somehow most had managed to repress, but whatever it was it would not be quieted until she was able to run, or beat up something. She had tried everything, including doing late-night training at Giles’ but nothing else was a substitute, she had to be outside. The thought of being stuck inside for six hours, (four of which she was usually most active) everyday for the next two weeks was enough to make her scream.

Her anger rising, she began hitting the bag at a faster pace, her mind unable to forget her earlier encounter. She pounded on the bag when suddenly it came off it’s hook and flew across the room, splitting open and pouring small beads everywhere. Buffy let out a small yelp, cursing as blood began pouring out of her now split open hand.

Quickly, she moved across the room and picked up her towel, wrapping her hand in the thick cloth.

“So have you finished brutally beating on it or should I just leave it on the floor?” said a voice from behind her.

Buffy grimaced, turning to face her trainer with a slight blush.

“Sorry.”

Giles moved further into the room,

“No, it’s quite alright. I suppose I just never expected you to break it down, can’t say I can remember it happening before. No worries though, I’m sure in due time the council will replace it.”

“Don’t be so sure.” Buffy mumbled, sitting down on a nearby bench.

“I received a report from Richard Garrison’s secretary, it includes the accusations placed on you and your punishments. As well as a few minor notes from Mr. Garrison which given your current disposition, I feel it would be best not to repeat.”

Buffy sighed,

“So this is the part where you lecture me, and tell me how wrong I was, right?”

Giles shook his head, sitting next to her on the bench.

“No, no lectures or inspirational speeches this time.” Buffy looked up at him wearily, not quite believing him. “I feel that although your actions were- questionable, your motives are admirable. I agree that what Riley did was wrong, and it seems that he would most certainly deserve what he got. However there is one cause for concern.”

Buffy looked up at him expectantly.

“This person, this man that you saved, I needn’t remind you that he is indeed a vampire. Although his circumstances are quite intriguing, I am still worried about his intentions. You didn’t know this man before a day or two ago Buffy, and yet you risked your life to save his own. It would seem that you have an overwhelming amount of trust in him; still it was you who, as you would put it ‘freaked out’ when you were told of his arrival. I trust your judgement, and it is obvious that you have resolved to assist him. And although I’m puzzled by your actions, I have faith in you. All I ask is that you be careful, as appearances can be deceiving.”

There was a long silence, Buffy looked up at her trainer giving him a weak smile.

“Thank you, for having trust in me… It means a lot. I know that all this probably sounds majorly weird but… somehow I just know that we can trust him. And this is all so confusing but at the same time, the one thing that’s clear is that I have to help him, I guess I’m just not exactly sure how yet. I promise that I’ll be careful though, I know you have a tenancy to worry.”

Giles stood up as Buffy walked towards the doorway.

“Giles? Can I ask you a question?”

“Of course.”

“How do you write an apology letter to someone, when you’re honestly not sorry for what you did?”

Her trainer chuckled,

“I’ll give you a list of ‘big-stuffy-british-words’ to use, chances are he won’t have the faintest idea what you’re talking about.”

Buffy smiled,

“Thanks.”

Exiting the house, she went out to her bike and climbed on; anxious to get home. Hoping that she may be able to actually have a conversation with her handsome houseguest, she drove towards her complex, a tired smile crossing her features as she went.

A half hour later, Buffy opened the door to her apartment. She had taken a while to lock up her bike, doubting that she could ‘sneak around’ on something that loud without the council knowing about it. Putting her jacket down she headed into the kitchen and grabbed a cola from the fridge, before putting in a few more containers of blood (smiling, when she noticed that the others had disappeared). After quickly draining the caffeine filled beverage, she headed towards her room to see if Angel was still awake. Peering inside the door, she noticed that her bed was neatly made and there was no vampire in sight. Letting out an angry sigh, she waked in and grabbed a nearby stake from her desk before quickly heading towards the door, ready to kick some very cute-vampire butt.

She was so engrossed in plotting her revenge however, that she didn’t notice the other presence in the living room before she ran into a broad chest, knocking herself backwards and onto the floor. Groaning at the pain that shot through her injured hand as she landed, she looked up to the tall figure she had ran into.

“Buffy are you okay?” he said, crouching down to help her up.

“Angel? You’re still here?” she asked, allowing him to lift her to her feet.

“Ya, it’s a bit too sunny for me to go anywhere. Why did-” Angel stopped when he saw the several stakes that now covered the ground. “Are those for me?” he said, trying no to sound as worried as he was.

Buffy sighed, picking up the discarded pieces of wood and throwing them into her weapons chest.

“They were. That is before you went all shadowy guy on me.”

“You thought I’d left?”

“Well, ya. You weren’t in my room, and I didn’t see you and I’ve had a majorly bad day…” Sighing she looked at him wearily, “Sorry, I have a tendency to overreact sometimes.”

Angel just nodded, looking towards her bloody hand.

“Are you sure you’re alright? Your hand is bleeding a lot.”

Buffy looked down at her forgotten injury, heading into the kitchen to rinse it off.

“Ya, I’m fine. I was just at my trainer’s place and I kinda split open his punching bag.”

“You split it open?”

“And knocked it across the room, ya. Like I said, I tend to overreact.”

Heading into her room, she picked up her first aid kit off the floor and grabbed some bandages before attempting to dress her wound. Unfortunately she had split open her good hand and was failing miserably at her task. She froze as she felt two cool hands touch hers, carefully taking over the job and easily wrapping her hand.

Finished, Angel pulled away looking sheepishly at the floor. Buffy stared at him tenderly, a small smile crossing her face.

“Thanks, that’s probably the nicest thing someone’s done for me all day.” There was a short silence before she shrugged off her amorous emotions and turned to him again. “What am I doing, you’re the one who’s all beat up. Here, let me take a look at your ribs.”

Leading him to sit on her bed, she carefully lifted up his shirt and pulled off the bandage to examine his wound. She was surprised to see that it was almost completely healed; there was only a small cut where the gash used to be. Carefully re-dressing the cut she looked over the rest of his injuries, most of which seemed to be healed, with the exception of his foot which, (given his slight hiss of pain when she touched it) seemed to still be sprained. Sighing she looked over his ankle, it was somewhat swelled but not half as much as it had been.

“You’re doing good, at this rate you should be able to walk normally on that foot in a day or two, as long as you stay off of it until then.”

“I heal fast.” Angel said simply, trying to forget about the throbbing of his foot from walking around so much.

Buffy gave him a nod and put her first aid kit away before sitting in a chair across from him. They sat in an uncomfortable silence, neither knowing quite what to say. Buffy was having an inner struggle of whether to kiss him until the sky turned purple or run in the other direction. Sneaking a glance at him, she decided on neither, and looked down at the suddenly interesting floor.

Across from her, Angel was in a similar debate. Questions from earlier swarmed his mind, unfortunately so did (only somewhat) unwanted visions of what else they could be doing right now that could prove to be fun.

“Who’s your trainer?” he blurted out, mentally kicking himself once the words had come out of his mouth. He was three centuries old and that was the best he could do?

“What?” Buffy asked, surprised by his question and the sudden break of silence.

“In your note, you mentioned that you’d had a call from your trainer. I was just wondering who exactly that was.” He said, attempting to explain better.

Buffy looked at him strangely for a moment before she remembered that he wouldn’t know what her trainer was.

“Oh, okay well, the colony- it’s guarded by warriors: people trained by the council to fight demons and stuff. There’s two levels of warriors, ones who have been put on duty and ones that haven’t. As you get more experience you get a higher ‘rank’ I guess, basically it just means that you get to boss more people around. Every warrior is assigned a trainer, usually a stuffy british person who trains you from a young age to eventually do your job. Some warriors don’t ever get to know their birth parents, others aren’t even born here. Giles is my trainer, he’s practically raised me, he lives a few minutes away from here.”

Angel nodded, absorbing her words.

“Do you? Know your birth parents?”

Buffy shook her head.

“No, I was brought here when I was just over three years old. I honestly don’t even remember them. The council’s always been really secretive when it came to my parents, I’m not even sure how much Giles knows. I wasn’t ever told their names, Giles pleaded for most of the time I was growing up to try and find out where I was born.”

“Did he?”

“Eventually. It turns out I was originally born just outside of New York. My parents took me to Ireland when I was two, but there was an attack on the village we were in a year after. I don’t know what happened to my parents, I was found a few weeks after the battle was over hiding in some rubble, Giles said it was amazing I survived that long alone- the council either didn’t know how or just wouldn’t tell him. Anyway they picked me up and shipped me here, I’m not sure why they didn’t just put me into a closer colony, I guess they figured I’d be safer around headquarters or something.”

Angel was silent, searching for something to say. He could remember that battle; he had been in Ireland when it happened. It was a small but pretty high-populated village of rogues, no one was sure who invaded or why but most of it was wiped out overnight. He had tried to help out but there was so much destruction that there wasn’t much he could do. He had been knocked out when a bunch of armed warriors had shown up, and as a result, forgotten most of the details of those weeks. But hearing the story again, he had a nagging feeling in the back of his mind that he had forgotten something vital.

Shrugging off the feeling, he turned to Buffy once again.

“So your trainer, Giles, raised you all your life to be a warrior? Is that what you were doing that night I saw you?”

Buffy smiled sheepishly,

“Actually I haven’t been put on active duty. So technically, I can’t patrol or anything yet. Really I’m not supposed to fight anyone or anything except for training- w-which I don’t of course because that would be wrong and completely disobeying orders.” She added quickly, blushing slightly.

Angel gave out a small chuckle, knowing that she probably ‘disobeyed orders’ on a regular basis, but was sneaky enough not to get caught. Suddenly a thought came to his mind, causing him to look at her with seriously.

“Did you get in trouble? For helping me before, is that why you had to got out today?”

Buffy sighed,

“Yes and no. I did have to go to the council’s headquarters, but it wasn’t as much for helping you.” At Angel’s questioning glance, she continued, “I had the honour of a meeting with a Mr. Garrison today, he’s like second in command at the council, and he took it upon himself to inform me how wrong it was of me to ‘attack my commanding officer’ and that it wasn’t in place to defend you. Said that they’d never let ‘a brat like me’ on active duty.”

Angel was overwhelmed by both guilt for getting her in trouble, and rage towards Richard for treating her the way he did.

“I’m sorry.” He said weakly.

Buffy smiled slightly,

“Don’t be, I’m not. Angry and feeling slightly homicidal at the moment yes, but it was worth it. The punishments aren’t a huge biggie either. I have to write an apology to Riley, and lost my bike for a few weeks. Other than that it’s not too bad. I can’t see Faith or Gunn for a while but they’re always busy anyway, the only thing I’m totally gonna miss is my night-life.”

“Night-life?” Angel asked, almost not wanting her answer.

“Ya I can’t go out past midnight for the next two weeks, usually I have to patrol at least every other day or I go crazy, and training with Giles is less than a challenge these days. I’m pretty sure two weeks without it will drive me sorta kinda really crazy.”

Angel nodded, wishing there was something that he could do to help.

“Actually,” Buffy said, a confused look crossing her features, “they didn’t say much about you at all. He just talked about me beating up Riley, he barely mentioned you. Kind of bizarre, I mean given how anti-demon the council is, they should have taken me off the force for even trying to help you. Not that I’m not super glad that they didn’t but it seems so weird. Why would they be more worried about me fighting someone than helping out the enemy- no offence.”

Angel looked up at her,

“No you’re right. I’ve known about these guys since before they were in power, it’s not normal for them to ignore something like that, unless they have a larger problem on their hands.”

“Which given how things around here are at the moment seems more than a little unlikely.” She said, finishing off his thought.

Buffy shrugged, deciding to worry about it later.

“Oh well, Garrison is an idiot anyway, he probably forgot to bring it up.” She said flippantly, only half kidding, “Besides, I got a few weeks to think about it since I really doubt I’ll be doing much else for a while.”

Angel thought for a moment, an idea beginning to form his mind. Getting up, he slowly, due to his sore ankle, followed Buffy into the kitchen and leaned against the doorframe, as she pulled a small tub of cookie-dough ice cream from the freezer. The two of them stood quietly as Buffy slowly devoured the yummy-goodness, hoping to forget about her bad mood for a while.

“I want to help.” Angel said suddenly, stirring her from her thoughts.

“What?” she asked, almost chocking on a spoonful of ice cream.

“You said that you’re not on active duty yet. When I saw you fight before, you were good but you could get a hell of a lot better. It’s obvious that your trainer can’t help you much with that anymore, maybe you just need a more experienced opponent. We could start whenever you want.”

Buffy stared at him, her mouth hanging open slightly.

“You want to help me train? But… why? I mean… you can fight?”

Angel almost laughed at her surprised look.

“You don’t live over three hundred years by being a good compromiser.”

Buffy’s eyes widened as his words registered in her mind.

“You-you’re THREE HUNDREDyears old! Wow, that’s… I mean I guessed you were older than most vamps but I didn’t think that you were… wow, you’re looking really good for your age!”

Angel gave her a half-smile that almost caused her knees to give out.

“So is that a ‘yes’?”

Buffy’s mind was thrown into almost chaos, half of her wanted to scream out ‘yes!’ at the thought of spending more time with him, but the other half was telling her to say no, that the temptation would be way too much for her to handle. (Three guesses which side won?)

“Ya, thanks I mean that’d be great.” She looked up and gave him a weak smile. “I’d say more but my mind is still kinda spinning from the whole three hundred years old thing… you wouldn’t happen to have some really strong liquor handy would you?”

Angel laughed, shaking his head as Buffy started eating her ice cream once again (now more for an excuse of her lack-of-speech than comfort food). The vampire knew he was probably in way over his head and might regret his decision once they started training. There was only so long his willpower would last if he saw her as often as he was going to have to, which would most likely end up blowing his whole plan of helping her, along with any chance of them becoming friends- or anything more (because come on, why would someone like her ever want to be with a vampire like him?).

But for now, it worked. They stood in her kitchen, a comfortable silence between them. The two were wrapped in their thoughts of what was going to happen once they begun training, but there was one fact that they were both certain of: things were going to get very interesting.


Ten

Four days had passed since Buffy’s meeting with the council, it was a strange adjustment for her to not be out and running around so much (especially during the night hours) but she was surprised about how much easier it was than she’d thought it would be. She and Angel had managed to fall into a kind of routine over the last few days, his wounds were now healed and he could walk normally again, but Buffy had insisted he stay for a few extra days “just to be on the safe side”. She knew it was really because she liked having him around, but he wasn’t all that reluctant to say yes so she hadn’t given the matter much thought.

Every morning, Buffy would wake up and go through her early morning routine (shower, coffee and such) while Angel was still asleep. He had given up battling with her over who should get the bed and silently agreed that they would share. Although Buffy didn’t know it, most mornings he was awake as early as she was; he would just lay in bed with his eyes closed; listening to her move around the apartment (and occasionally sneaking a glance at her) until she left to go to Giles’ place, when he would fall back asleep. Although he had yet to meet the british trainer, he had heard a bit about him from Buffy. She’d told him a little about her training, how Giles had raised her as well as her friend/sister Tara. Given the little that Buffy had told him, he seemed like a reasonable man who was obviously like a father to Buffy.

Angel would get up in the afternoon, and had just enough time to shower and feed before Buffy would return. She would generally wander around aimlessly for a few hours, doing a bit of this and that, before she would make herself some dinner. After the dishes were clean and put away, she and Angel would usually fall into conversation; sometimes about training, with the occasional bit about Buffy’s life. It was a strange experience for Angel; he was usually less than social, but when he spoke to Buffy, time would just fly by and they would spend hours talking about nothing in particular. He was surprised that she was willing to open up to him in the small way she had, and he found himself wishing he could tell her more about himself as well. So far he had answered a few small questions about his life: his age, where he lived before, just general questions. Buffy had picked up that he wasn’t really into sharing just yet, and he was thankful that she didn’t seem to mind. It was strange how their lives seemed so different, and they were both somewhat reserved when it came to their personal lives, but they still managed to have a conversation.

At the moment they were standing in her living room, Buffy had a large mug of hot chocolate in her hands and was trying to explain to him some of the techniques that Giles had shown her over the years. It was hard to explain them (since she didn’t know the names and couldn’t actually perform them without an opponent) but Angel could usually guess what she was talking about. He was surprised how little she knew about weapons, she had only been taught a brief amount of hand to hand combat but mostly the council had told her to only use long metal rods (ironically a lot like the one that had hit him before), she had barely learned how to use a stake. From what he’d heard, her colleagues (Gunn and Faith) seemed to have the same knowledge of weapons, but a lot more about hand to hand than she did.

“Giles actually has a collection of that kinda stuff, but he never showed me what they did. The council always told him to stay away from weapons, other than stakes I really don’t use anything else.” She said, taking another sip of the warm drink.

“You don’t use the rods?”

“Nah, they’re practically pointless. I mean ya they can do some damage but they’re easy to drop and take from someone. Chances are the other person is just gonna grab it and use it against you anyway.”

Angel nodded,

“So other than stakes, you don’t have any weapons?”

Buffy thought for a moment.

“No, not really. I have a couple knives, and one has a pretty interesting pattern on it, but it’s nothing big. I don’t even use them most of the time.”

“What do you do when you find demons that don’t die from stakes?”

“Honestly? There’s not much I can do, I don’t know that much about the species of demons either, usually I just stake and if it doesn’t work I try and knock it out and run in the other direction.”

“You don’t know about demons? I thought your trainer had some huge library.”

“He does. I kinda just missed that part of the training it was- delayed.” She looked away, obviously not wanting to elaborate. “The resource books Giles will let me look at, but the council designed the place so most of the stuff is off limits. Giles usually looks through the books and gives me the important stuff, but I can’t ever look at anything to do with history or prophecies. I’ve skimmed through a few books, but given the lack of good descriptions everything just kind of blends together.”

“That’s strange, history and prophecies are some of the most important things to know. It tells you so much, what happened, where the council comes from, it sounds like they’re trying to keep you away from anything to do with the past.”

Buffy nodded,

“Ya, Giles curses them a lot, history is like his favourite subject ever, but even he can’t look at some of the stuff. He says he only gets ‘half the picture’ like they’ll say something about the council but only a few necessary facts, all the rest isn’t really there.”

“So he has all these books but he never reads them?”

“Mostly, I mean there’s only a few that are off limits and the council would kill him if he went against orders. I mean he’s usually pretty good with me and my slight habit of bending the rules, but he’s just really good at covering up for that stuff if he has to. The council doesn’t even know I patrol, I don’t even want to think about what would happen if they found out.”

Angel didn’t reply, lost in his thoughts.

“It’s not just me though.” Angel looked up at her questioningly, “All the warriors have the same thing, I mean a few of the senior guys get told more, but it’s basically the same info as us only in bigger words; it boosts their ego. The council has this thing they tell everyone: ‘we’ve all made mistakes in the past, it’s time to focus on the future’. It works for most people, keeps them all quiet.”

Angel just nodded again, knowing how easily some people would accept what they were told, not wanting to cause trouble. Buffy drank the last of her hot chocolate, before heading into the kitchen to wash her mug. Angel followed, watching her move around the small room. He admitted that he didn’t know her really well, but already he had picked up how unique a woman she really was. She was beautiful both inside and out, she seemed so strong as though unexplainable power emitted from her. She was no doubt a strong woman but as he was with her more and more he learned that she also had some insecurities. She could go from ordering to shy and quiet in a matter of minutes, her disposition changing from the smallest thing. He couldn’t imagine why someone like her would have any uncertainty about herself, but she never ceased to puzzle him.

One thing he was sure of, that she had amazing potential. He was still not sure why he had offered to train with her, but a part of him felt the need to teach her to harness her power, while another small, buried voice told him to run away as fast as he could. He still couldn’t figure out why (or what) part of him reacted to her like that, it was like this nagging feeling that he should have remembered it, that it was important (so, of course it was loooong forgotten).

“So where exactly are we going to be training?” he heard her ask, placing her mug in a nearby cupboard.

He looked up at her quickly, her voice pulling him from his thoughts.

“Oh, there’s a good sized empty room that’s an old addition to my apartment. It used to be set up as some kind of gym, a lot of the equipment is gone but the mats and stuff is all still there.”

Buffy nodded, containing her excitement about the idea of training with him.

“We could start anytime now really, that is if my lovely nurse would give me a clean bill of health.” He said jokingly, giving her a small smile.

Buffy smiled back a small blush creeping across her face.

“I think that you’re all better now. Although then again, it couldn’t hurt to take you for a test ride.” She said before she could stop herself.

Angel raised an eyebrow at her words, suppressing a grin, which would have probably led to the end of his unlife. Buffy’s face quickly turned bright red as she realised what she had just said.

“I- well you know as in the fighting way because you h-have a gym now and we were going to train- in the fighting way, of course. I didn’t mean- not that I wou- I meant… you know what? Can you excuse me when I go and hide under my nice roomy bed? Oh my god will someone PLEASE shut me up already!” she babbled, thumping her head down on the table.

Angel couldn’t help the smile that crept across his face or the barely-suppressed laugh that he prayed she wouldn’t hear. Unfortunately she must have heard him because she raised her head slightly to glare at him.

“Sure laugh at my pain.”

Angel gave her a smile.

“I know what you meant, I just found the way you ‘expressed’ yourself somewhat… amusing.”

Buffy stuck her tongue out at him.

“You know now that I think about it, there a lot better uses for that tongue.” He said winking- yep he was soooo gonna die.

Buffy gave him a death glare before launching herself at him. Suddenly thankful of his vampire reflexes, he moved aside running out of the kitchen. Buffy grabbed a nearby frying pan off the stove and sped after him, yelling something along the lines of “evil vampire- you’re so dead”. Yep, life was good.

Soon after the sun went down, the (non) couple (who so didn’t have an undeniable attraction to one another) made their way across town to Angel’s apartment. Buffy followed a little behind him, doing her best to adjust to his longer strides. After almost hitting Angel over the head (several times) with her frying pan and knocking over one of her lamps (which she’d “always hated anyway”) their battle had lead to a pillow fight and Angel eventually learning that Buffy was indeed ticklish (which lead to her to once again chasing him around and another hour of wackiness). Buffy had called Giles to give him the what’s what before they both agreed it would be a good idea to start some training.

As they walked Buffy couldn’t help but feel on edge. Despite the lethal broken nose she had given Riley she was still nervous for Angel to be out on the streets. She knew it was unreasonable and that he’d undoubtedly have to go out sometime, but she’d seen how many people were more than willing to hurt him before and she was still afraid that it’d happen again. Looking around again, Buffy was surprised when she felt Angel’s cool hand wrap around her own. She looked up at him questioningly.

“We’re almost there.” He said, giving her hand a reassuring squeeze.

Buffy gave him a small smile and nodded, somewhat calmed by his actions. She was a little surprised he had sensed her worry but then again he had been living with her for a few days now. Over her life Buffy had never really had a friend. I mean she had Gunn and Faith but even though she’d known them for so long, they still didn’t know her very well. They had always been more like ‘classmates’ or something rather than friends. The only person she’d ever really had was Tara (who she considered to be her sister) but her training had always seemed to limit their time together when they were growing up. Now there was Angel. He seemed to know her so well even though they’d met such a short time ago, and in the last few days she’d found that for the first time in a while, she could truly be herself when she was around him. And for her that was a greater gift than she’d ever recieved.

Buffy was pulled from her thoughts as Angel led her into a large building. The walked down a few flights of stairs before stopping in front of a wooden door. Letting go of her hand, Angel reached into his pocket and eventually pulled out a small key. Slipping it into the lock, he opened the door and lead her inside. As she walked through the doorway Buffy felt her jaw drop in awe. The apartment was dark, only lit with a few lamps. The walls were painted a light grey shade and the floor was covered in chocolate brown carpeting. Slowly, she stepped further into the room; in the corner was a beautiful small desk that was already partially filled with papers; it was carved out of wood with intricate patterns etched into it. Across the room was a deep red coloured couch and a matching table across from it (also made from the same coloured wood as the desk). The apartment was filled with red and brown shades, giving it a warm feel. Buffy also spotted a large chest, which seemed to have a large broadsword peeking out of it (which she was already itching to try out).

She turned to Angel in shock, unable to form actual words.

“I haven’t been in it that long. The council brought most of my stuff here but a lot of it’s still packed. I know it’s not-”

“It’s amazing.” Buffy interrupted, unable to keep her eyes off the room.

“What?” Angel said, surprised by her reaction.

“The furniture, it’s all wood! Like everything is steel now, it’s almost impossible to get anything else- especially not something this detailed.” Going across the room she bent down to examine the nearby table, carefully running her fingers across the carvings. “The designs on here are beautiful, and the colours…” she trailed off, standing up again.

Angel was more than a little surprised by her reaction. She struck him as a more modern-typed person, not someone who would be this excited by old furniture or art.

“Uh, Thanks. I bought the furniture a long time ago, wood used to be almost a standard for most furnishings.”

“Really? I never would have thought… things must have been so different back then!” Buffy said, her voice sounding a bit like that of a small child.

“They were, a lot actually.”

“I can’t even remember ever being outside the colony. I’ve always wondered what it’s like- in the rest of the world. Or what it looked like before.” She said, studying one of his small sculptures he’d gotten in Rome a while back.

Angel watched her moving around the apartment curiously, she seemed so fascinated by what he considered to be everyday life.

“I could tell you about it sometime. I have a lot of older stuff, and I don’t have a ton of pictures but I have lots of sketches I could show you if you wanted.”

She looked at him with wide eyes.

“Really? You’d do that?”

Angel nodded and before he knew it Buffy was before him, her arms wrapped firmly around him and her body pressed against his own in a tight embrace. He awkwardly put his arms around her for a minute before she pulled back and let out a squeal of delight.

“You are sooooo awesome!” she said smiling.

Angel just smiled back. After a few minutes of silence Angel give her a quick tour of the apartment with plenty of “oooh”s and “awwwe”s from Buffy (and a thick silence when he showed her the bedroom, which she silently berated herself for) before leading her into the large addition. The room was brighter than the others, the walls were simple cement but most of them were covered with mats and/or bars and weapon-racks. Several mats were placed on the floor, there was also a bench on each side of the room along with a large cabinet and punching bags.

“This is great!” Buffy said, walking further into the room to examine the equipment.

“Ya, I was relieved when I saw it. It could still use a bit of touch-ups but it’s alright.”

Buffy stood before him and crossed her arms over her chest.

“So, wanna spar for a bit?”

Angel smiled, taking a defensive stance. Why not? After all it wouldn’t take all THAT long.


Eleven

In every being on earth there are instincts. Ones born centuries ago when their kind roamed freely, when all they had to survive were themselves. Even before the acts of speech, allies and enemies were born in the heat of battle. You cannot change these, you cannot ignore them. When they are awakened, you have no choice but to heed their call.

Angel stared at Buffy as they both took a defensive stance. Slowly they began circling each other, studying how the other moves. Carefully, Angel stepped towards his opponent and threw a loose punch towards her face, Buffy easily dodged it and threw one of her own. The two gradually began exchanging blows, as if testing how the other reacts. Steadily their force began to increase, their attacks coming quicker and quicker. Buffy ducked to the ground as Angel’s foot came flying mere inches from her head. Quickly jumping up, she dodged yet another kick before twisting and hitting him square in the chest, the unexpected force of the hit sending the vampire off balance. Recovering quickly, Angel swung left, barely missing her. Before Buffy had time to recover, Angel’s foot connected with her side, sending her to the ground. Angered, she got up and began throwing punches.

As the two fought, Buffy could quickly feel herself falling away. She had been in loads of training sessions, done dozens of patrols, but she had never fought like this before. The voice that urged her to patrol every night was no longer whispering, but slowly taking over. She could feel her body beginning to surge with strength she didn’t know she possessed as she moved, her arms fighting like they have a mind of their own. As each second passed she felt her awareness of the world slipping away, leaving nothing but her and the battle.

Surprised by her blows and caught up in the thrill of the fight, Angel blocked her punches one by one before doing his best to sweep the blonde’s feet from under her. Buffy quickly moved back and tried to get some space between them, feeling her energy starting to waver. Noticing this, Angel moved closer and swung left, trying to get her off balance. With her last bit of energy, Buffy launched herself at him, at the same time Angel tried to hit her in the side. The two collided as the force of their attacks sent them falling to the ground.

Reacting on impulse, Angel pinned Buffy’s arms above her head and positioned himself so she couldn’t move. Despite her struggles, Buffy eventually realised that her efforts were in vain. Forcing herself to admit defeat, Buffy looked up at her captor, half-expecting to see a smirk adorning his features. However when she looked at him she was surprised by what she saw. In his eyes was the gleam of a predator- but not one of battle. As she stared at him she could slowly feel her awareness returning, and as she recognized the look on his face she began to wonder if she was really awake. In his eyes was something she knew was mirrored in her own, something she hadn’t really known until she met him. Desire.

Lost in a wave of passion, mixed with the heat of the fight, the two warriors stared at each other before slowly tilting their heads. Creeping closer and closer to the other until their lips were a hairsbreadth apart. Buffy closed her eyes in anticipation as she started to close the space between them.

“BEEP, BEEP, BEEP…”

Both Buffy and Angel jumped at the sudden noise, Angel scrambled to quickly get off the blonde before looking around for the source of the beeping. Buffy, still dazed, looked around the room slowly, not being able to find anything out of the ordinary.

“Buffy?” looking up at Angel, she saw him looking towards her questioningly.

Realizing that the beeping was coming from her, she quickly looked down and eventually pulled her cell phone out of her pocket, the small screen flashing “warning, battery low!” Suppressing a growl (and the urge to throw the wicked device across the room) she quickly turned the beeping off. Timidly, she got up and held up her phone.

“Low battery.” She said quietly, offering him an explanation.

Angel nodded, looking away. They both stood in silence, trying to piece together what had just (almost) happened.

Buffy’s mind was in utter chaos. Despite her quiet appearance she was having an inner battle of thoughts. Noticing that he was averting her eyes, Buffy groaned. She obviously misread him before, he was probably just caught up in how much she sucked at fighting that he didn’t realise what she was doing. He’s gorgeous, smart, charming, there’s no way he’d ever want a warrior wannabe like her!

/Great! First he kicks your butt and now you make a complete idiot of yourself! Nice job Summers! Way to win him over/

Angel, on the other hand remembered fully well what had happened (in vivid detail) but had skipped past the embarrassment and went straight to the self-blaming part. Could he have been more of a jerk? All she wanted to do was spar and he had pinned her down and tried to kiss her! She was probably too dazed from the blow to even tell him to get off! She won’t even look up at him, he’d be surprised if she didn’t stake him by sunrise.

Deciding that a possible staking was better than the excruciating silence that filled the room, Angel finally spoke up.

“T-that was good. You, uh, got some really good hits in.”

Buffy didn’t know whether to cry in joy or misery as Angel completely dodged the subject. Mentally kicking herself (again) she looked up at him, praying she looked a little calmer than she felt.

“Thanks. You totally beat me though.”

Angel shook his head, smiling slightly.

“No, I got lucky.” At Buffy’s questioning glance he continued. “For one, you got tired, from what you told me you’re not used to fighting that hard. But really, I won because I was lucky enough to land on top.”

Buffy (thankful for the distraction) sighed as she replayed the fight in her mind.

“I should have been able to flip you though, you got me down and I couldn’t even move.”

Angel gave her a nod, thinking for a moment.

“What was the first thing they taught you? As far as fighting techniques go?”

“Uh… the basics I guess. Kicks, punches, blocking, that kind of stuff.”

“What about pinning people down?”

“Ya, they taught us that with blocking.”

“And what was the last thing you learned?”

Buffy smiled,

“Giles tried to show me how to use one of these new hand-weapon things the council made. They’re like long distance tranquilizers or something.”

Angel gave her a small smile before standing before her.

“One of the things that I’ve figured out is that sometimes the right answer is the one you’d least expect- the simplest one. I went back to the basics; one of the first things a vampire learns after he is turned, is how to pin a man down to feed. Even now, after centuries of staying away from that, if I’m in a battle and have the opportunity, I’ll pin someone down, it’s a reflex. An instinct I guess you could call it.”

Buffy sat down on a nearby bench, trying to absorb the information. She hadn’t ever actually thought about what to do before, it was more like remembering what she was taught and carrying out plans. She knew that different people reacted different ways to an attack, she had just never thought of why. The council ensured that the colonists had always led an isolated life, never releasing information about other cultures or the past. Buffy had always wished to see the world, and although she’d never admit it to Giles, she had always had a curiosity about history. When did the war between humans and the demons start? Why were they all forced to live in colonies? She guessed a large part of it was the mystery of her own life, why there was an attack on her small Ireland village all those years. It seemed with each day that she knew Angel, he gave her more and more outlooks that she had never considered. Most of which went against what she had been taught all her life. Unfortunately, it also caused her to draw some unsettling conclusions about her culture and herself.

Sighing, Buffy looked down at the ground. Angel carefully put a finger under her chin and lifted her head to face him. Tears were building up in her eyes.

“Hey,” he said softly, “what’s wrong?”

Buffy sniffed, and shook her head slightly.

“For almost all my life I’ve been training, I’ve been doing my best to be the best warrior I can. I’ve had to give up so much, and I’m still not good enough. For as long as I can remember I’ve been taught to become fighter, it’s the only goal that I had to reach and now…I can’t help thinking why me, why am I the failure, the one that everyone knows won’t accomplish anything? I thought once I moved out things would get easier, but they didn’t. They just got worse… Garrison’s right. I’m never going to be good enough, why do I even bother trying?”

Angel couldn’t believe what he was hearing, how Buffy could be so unaware of the power that she possessed, how someone so amazing could be so insecure. He sat in front of her, her eyes locked with his as a look of seriousness crossed his features.

“Buffy listen to me. This world isn’t perfect. It’s complicated and it’s cruel, and no matter what anyone does there will always be someone there challenging you, trying to bring you down. I won’t lie to you; your life will be hard. It will be painful and you’re going to have to do things that no one should ever have to do. But no matter what Buffy, promise me that you won’t give up. That if there’s something out there that you truly believe in fight for it, don’t let anything stand in your way. If you do that no one can ever stop you. I know youhave the power within yourself. Promise me when the time comes, you’ll use it.”

Tears spilled down Buffy’s face as he spoke. He looked so sincere, the realization slowly dawned that he believed in her. He honestly believed that she could to do something, that she had power. A spark of hope ignited in her heart; she hadn’t believed in herself for a long time, nor had she trusted anyone when they told her otherwise- always keeping the world an arms length away. But as she looked into his eyes she trusted him, more than anyone or anything in this world. He believed that she was strong; maybe she did have a chance after all.

Slowly she nodded,

“I promise.” She whispered, before burying her face in his chest and sobbing.

Angel was surprised by her reaction, but quickly wrapped his arms around her small frame and held her gently; whispering soothing nonsense into her ear as she cried. Closing his eyes, he pulled her close; he wished that he could show her how amazing she was, erase any doubts from her mind. Things were only going to get harder for her; somehow he knew that. Silently, he vowed to protect her in any way he could, keep her delicate heart safe from those who dared harm it. If he accomplishes nothing else for the rest of his existence, he’ll ensure that the brilliant light she possesses will never fade, that he will protect it with all that he has, from now until eternity.

The two sat there for a long time, wrapped in each other’s embrace. Eventually Buffy’s tears died down and they held each other in a comfortable silence. Love radiated from them both, their hearts longing to pour out their secrets to each other; to declare the love that had so quickly taken over them. After what seemed like forever (yet not near long enough for them), the two slowly released each other and stood up, exhaustion from the day overwhelming them. Buffy looked up at the clock and groaned, cursing under her breath.

“What is it?” Angel asked quietly, suddenly afraid he had done something wrong.

Buffy sighed,

“I didn’t realise how late it was, my curfew started a half hour ago. It’s gonna be almost impossible to get home without at least one guard noticing me.”

“Oh.” Angel considered her words for a moment before looking up at her again. “You could stay here.”

“What?” Buffy asked, surprised by his suggestion.

“You don’t have to,” Angel said quickly, mistaking her reaction for a no, “it’s just that it’s late and we’re both tired. You’re more than welcome to stay here if you want, I don’t want you to get into trouble again.”

Buffy gave him a small smile, a blush threatening to cross her face.

“Thanks, that sounds really good at this point.”

Angel gave her a small smile, and led her through the apartment and into his bedroom.

“Uh… you can sleep here. I haven’t had a lot of time to unpack but it’s alright for now. The kitchen and bathroom are just down the hall, I’ll be in the living room if you need me.”

Nodding, Buffy pulled off her shoes and sweater and sat on the edge of the bed. The frame was enormous, made from strong, dark brown wood with carvings etched into its surface. The sheets were deep red and made from silk, somehow it seemed only fitting to Buffy, considering what she knew of the man that owned them.

“Angel?” she said quietly, just as he reached the door.

“What is it?”

Biting her lip, Buffy reached out her arm, her face taking on a childlike appearance.

“Stay with me?” she asked quietly, willing to be in his arms again.

Giving her a small smile Angel took off his shoes and joined her on the large bed; lying down next to her, he put his arms around her again. Snuggling into his embrace, Buffy quickly began to drift to sleep murmuring something so quiet Angel could barely make it out.

“…love…” she whispered before drifting off, as a look of peace crossed her features.

Angel smiled wearily, and planted a kiss on her crown.

“I love you Buffy.” He whispered, before letting sleep take him.

The two murmured words of devotion in their sleep, dreaming of what their hearts desired so much. Their souls silently prayed that one day, they would tell each other of their love in the waking world, each astonishingly oblivious to the feelings of the other.


Twelve

“…Giles it’s early, if you wanna do the cryptic-british-guy thing call me back later, ‘cause right now I’m not in the greatest of moods…yes everything’s fine, I was in the middle of a good dream though! … Oh ya, because so many of my freaky-metaphor dreams are that good.”

Angel stirred at the sound of Buffy’s voice. Dreamily he reached beside him, only to find that the space she had occupied was empty. Concerned, the vampire opened his eyes and looked around the room, everything was in order and as he looked out the door he caught sight of Buffy pacing in the living room, with what looked like her cell phone in her hand. Silently cursing the miserable device that seemed more and more like some twisted hell spawn, Angel got out of bed and headed to the living room. Buffy was, in fact, talking on a phone and from her expression of annoyance; Angel guessed whomever she was talking to had woken her up. (Which, from experience, Angel had already learned was not a good idea)

Leaning against the doorframe, Angel watched as the blonde paced back and forth, oblivious to her audience.

“…So what you want me to check it out? …I don’t get it why am I assigned to do this, especially after the-… Oh so we get be all stealthy with this one so the council won’t catch on? …Yes ‘we’, that is if he wants to come… Giles he’s good, I swear…I donno… okay… I’ll be over around sunset- you said to be stealthy! … ‘kay, you too… bye”

Buffy sighed tiredly, running her fingers through her hair. Turning, she spotted Angel, and almost jumped in surprise.

“Jeez, next time maybe make a little noise?”

Angel smirked,

“Sorry, you weren’t sleeping, I wanted to make sure you were alright.”

Buffy’s expression softened somewhat at his worry.

“I’m fine. Giles just called, he wants me to check out a couple bars or something tonight, apparently there’s a new gang of demons somewhere in the city, and of course our beloved council is too ignorant to do anything about it.”

“He wants you to go out, alone, to a bunch of bars?”

“Two bars, actually. They’re both underground, kinda low on the radar. Apparently it’s where a lot of the not-so-human people go, Giles figures we can find Linds at one of them.”

Angel gave her a bemused look,

“Linds?”

“Lindsay. A contact Giles knows, he used to work for the council but quit like forever and a half ago, he’s managed to evade them ever since. He’s where you go when you need some info, I’ve only met him a couple times but I’ll be able to find him.”

“And you’re going alone?”

Buffy smirked,

“Well if someone felt the need to help me out, I sure wouldn’t object.”

Angel nodded and went into the kitchen, looking through his cupboards for coffee.

“I’ll warn you though,” Buffy said as she came into the room, “if you wanna come you’re gonna have to meet Giles. And that could lead to oodles of questions and- ohh is that coffee?”

Angel smiled at her abrupt change of subject.

“I’ll come with you and I’m sure I can survive any questions he comes up with, and yes, this is coffee. Not the kind you like but I have lots of sugar.”

“You sure know the way to a girl’s heart.” Buffy graciously took the sugar-filled drink from Angel and sat up on his counter. “Why don’t you drink coffee? I mean, does it still wake you up or do you just drink blood?” she asked curiously.

“No I drink other things, just caffeine makes me jittery. I usually have tea in the morning.” Angel said, putting a teabag in his mug.

Buffy rolled her eyes as she took another sip.

“On second though, you and Giles are gonna get along just great.”

The sun had just set, and the sky was a deep blue shade. Angel and Buffy were on their way to Giles’ house to check in, although it was early in the evening, Angel had managed to convince Buffy that he would be more than safe from the sun. Realising that the earlier they left the earlier they could get done, Buffy reluctantly agreed, yet insisting that they stay by the shadows.

Angel was feeling unexpectedly nervous as they drew closer and closer to their destination. He knew Giles was like a father to Buffy and he didn’t want to make a bad impression. If it weren’t for his nerves, Angel would laugh; he was acting like a teenaged boy going to meet his girlfriend’s parents for the first time. Not that the knowledge was comforting at all, but except for a few things (most of which he suspected Buffy would slap him for) nothing was going to ease his nerves completely.

Noticing his discomfort, Buffy gave him a soft smile.

“Don’t worry so much. You’re a tea drinking, karate chopping, bookworm. Giles will love you.”

Angel gave her a sad imitation of a smile, nodding slightly.

“Come on, we’re only like a block away.”

Buffy was right, a few minutes later the two were standing in front of Giles’ door. Ignoring Angel’s weak protests, Buffy opened the door and half-dragged him inside, not bothering to knock before she entered. Unfortunately, she wasn’t paying attention to where she was going and ran straight into a familiar brunette.

“Oh god, Tara! I’m so sorry! I seriously did not see you there.” She apologized, picking up her sister’s dropped books.

“No, it’s fine. I was just heading to work to drop these off.” Noticing Angel, Tara smiled. “And who might this lovely man be?”

For once, Angel was glad that he was unable to blush.

“Right! Sorry, Angel this is Tara, Tara this is Angel.”

Tara resisted a laugh, noticing the somewhat dreamy expression on her sister’s face at the mention of his name.

“Hi! You must be that really gorgeous guy Buffy has been talking about! You saw her with Gunn right? That time she was on patrol, and you came to the colony that night and she caught you watching her and she thought you were like the most ama-” Tara stopped for a second, finally noticing her sister’s pleading/embarrassed glare. “aaaand I don’t even know why I’m saying this, Buffy hasn’t mentioned anything about you.”

Smiling slightly, Angel nodded (and made a mental note to ask Buffy what exactly she thought, later on.)

“Hi.”

Observing her sister’s teasing look, Buffy quickly broke the silence.

“Hey, Tara, I’m sorry we’re holding you up aren’t we? You probably want to get to work and stuff, and we have to see Giles still so I’ll see you later.”

Tara shrugged, heading for the door.

“No problem, I should get going. Bye, it was nice meeting you Angel.”

Angel nodded, just as the door had closed, Buffy was halfway across the room.

“Sorry about her she has a wild imagination, Giles should be in the library so lets go.” She said quickly.

Angel let out a small laugh (partially in amusement, but mostly in nervousness) and followed Buffy into a nearby room. The library was enormous, two floors of books (that he could see) and small tables here and there. The walls were (as usual) silver, but were covered with so many bookshelves it was hardly noticeable. In the middle of the room was a huge metal table with chairs gathered around it, and to his right was a counter with several rooms behind it (where he assumed Giles’ office was). On the table, several books were stacked high, many had been left open on the table. Buffy hopped up on the table and looked around.

“GILES! WE’RE HERE!” she yelled.

Angel winced at the volume of her voice; he didn’t think someone that small could be that loud.

“Buffy, as I have told you many times before, it would serve us all well if you would look for me once and a while.” Giles said, as he came out from his office.

Angel watched as the man stepped into the room. He was a few inches shorter than Angel, yet still a lot taller than Buffy; his hair was grey from age, and glasses hung over his eyes. He was dressed in grey pants and a dark blue sweater, and held a thick looking book in his hand.

“I looked! See, I sat, and made with the looking, and didn’t see.” Buffy said innocently.

“Yes, because I’m never in other parts of the house.” Giles turned to Angel, “You must be Angel, I’m Rupert Giles, Buffy’s trainer.”

“It’s nice to meet you sir.” Angel said politely as he shook his hand.

The trainer nodded, placing his book on the counter.

“Giles, what’s a fie-ral demon?”

“A Fyarl Demon is a tall creature with curved horns on their head, they can shoot paralysing mucus from their nostrils. They are very strong, formerly to be used for henchmen or soldiers.” Giles said absently, as he began looking through a nearby stack of papers. “Why exactly do you ask?”

Buffy held up an open book in reply, her nose scrunched up.

“It was in this book, and for the record ‘ew’!”

Angel smiled as she put the book down, he found her unbelievably cute when she was grossed out.

“So Giles, what’s the what?” Buffy asked, suddenly she felt extremely bored.

Giles looked up from the pile of papers.

“Hm? Oh yes, as you know there is word that a group of demons recently made their way inside the colony. I want you to visit these bars and see if anything looks suspicious. Also do your best to find Lindsay, I’m sure he would prove to be most helpful in this case.” Giles said as he handed her a piece of paper, on it were several addresses scribbled down.

“Okaay, so what exactly are we looking for?” Buffy asked, confused.

“We need to determine whether or not these demons are peaceful, and if not, what their plans are. As you know this is command central for the council, it’s a prime target for attacks.”

Buffy shoved the paper in her pocket.

“Gotcha, info-trip only.”

Getting up, the warrior made her way across the room, signalling Angel to follow.

“Angel? A moment please.” Giles said before he could leave.

Buffy turned and gave Giles a “go easy on him” look, before going out the door. Angel turned to the trainer, his nervousness slowly returning.

“Yes sir?” he asked.

“It is quite obvious, Angel, that Buffy wants to help you. She trusts you infinitely, and it would seem that in the past few days she has opened up to you considerably, which I can honestly say is a rare thing for her. I admit, some of my reservations are because of what you are. Buffy has reluctantly informed me of your soul, however the idea of a vampire willingly helping a warrior is quite foreign from my perspective.”

“I understand.” Angel said in agreement.

“Nevertheless, I trust Buffy’s judgement. She tells me that you are indeed peaceful and thus far, I have not seen any evidence to the contrary. But I must know, what are your intentions with her?”

Angel considered his answer carefully, that was what he had been asking himself all along. Deciding that honestly was the best answer, Angel looked up at the man before him.

“I don’t know.” At his answer, Giles raised a brow. “Buffy is… she’s important to me. There’s a lot of things about how I feel about her that’s I’m unsure of, I’ve barely spoken to humans in the last century never mind-”

Angel paused, trying his best to put his feelings into words.

“But I do know that I want to help her, in any way I can. I care about her more than anything; so much it scares me sometimes. I want to protect her. I want to help her train, and come into the potential that she has, teach her everything I know so that she can survive when she’s put on duty. I know it’s not the clearest of answers but…”

Giles nodded, a knowing look crossed his face. Angel’s feelings for Buffy were obvious to the trainer.

“I understand. Thank you.”

Angel nodded and headed out the door, relief washing through him. Across the room was Buffy, tossing a sculpture up in the air.

“You ready?” she asked, setting it on a nearby table.

Angel nodded, following her out the door.

“So wha’cha guys talk about?” she asked curiously as they headed into town.

“Nothing.” Angel replied, as a smirk crept across his face.

It was about a half hour later before the pair found the first bar, it was behind dozens of back alleys and almost impossible to find. Loud music blared from inside, as the two of them entered, coloured lights and crowds assaulted them. It was more of a club, throngs of people were dancing in the center of the room, tables were scattered throughout the building and at the far side of the room was a large bar. Nodding to her companion, Buffy followed him through the thick crowds of people to a quiet(er) spot in the corner of the room.

“See anything?” Buffy asked, as she scanned the hordes of people in the club.

Angel shook his head, doing his best to tune out the uncomfortable crowd.

“I don’t see Lindsay either, there’s an upper level, maybe we should check up there.”

Reluctantly, Angel nodded and followed her up a staircase to the next “floor”. You could see through the flooring to the people below, although the second level was a lot less busy.

“Lets split up, we can get through this faster.” Buffy said, and before Angel could object she was gone.

Angel let out a weary sigh before heading off in the other direction. He gazed at the people as he passed by them, wishing that he was anywhere but there. Over the years, Angel had become pretty good at suppressing his demon, but when he was here, with massive amounts of living humans all around him it was even hard for him to resist the temptation. He could smell each and every one of them, feel their energy pulsing through their bodies, each heartbeat was like a loud drum in his ear that he couldn’t block out.

“Angel?”

The vampire jumped at the feel of a small hand on his arm, turning, he was relieved to see Buffy staring at him.

“Whoa, you okay?” she asked, noticing his reaction.

“Fine.” He said, surprised that he didn’t feel her coming.

“It doesn’t look like he’s here, and if there is anything suspicious going on it’s way too crowded to tell.”

Angel nodded,

“Lets go.”

Taking her hand, he led her down the stairs and through the crowds of people. They were a few feet from the back exit when a familiar voice called out.

“Hey! Angel man!”

Angel groaned and turned to see a short Irishman coming towards them, a half-empty cup in his hand.

“Angel, surprise to see you here. Coming to ‘ave a drink?”

Buffy stepped out from behind Angel, eyeing the Irishman curiously.

“Ah, aren’t you a sweet one.” He said, nodding to Buffy.

“Doyle-” Angel half-growled in warning.

“Don’t worry man, I’m sure the girl don’t mind me talkin’ to yer for a while.”

“I think he’s drunk.” Buffy said to Angel, noting the slight lack-of-balance in Doyle’s steps.

“Nah, you see lass if I were drunk I’d be suggesting a lot more inappropriate things, which I’m sure Angel here already would be making me regret.”

Buffy smirked, sure she was slightly embarrassed, but at least he was honest.

Angel, however, didn’t show as much appreciation for his friend’s comment.

“We’re looking for a guy, name’s Lindsay. You seen him?” he asked, deciding to change the subject.

“Ah that guy, ya I’ve seen him here and there- not very often mind you he’s not exactly Mr. Social; he usually hangs out in some of the less lively bars. Quiet, not as crowded and such.”

Angel nodded and turned to the door.

“Thanks for your help Doyle.” Buffy said as she remembered the strange man’s name.

“Not a problem lass, it was a pleasure meeting yer. Be sure to keep Angel in line.” He replied, giving her a slight wink.

Buffy smiled and followed Angel out the door.

“What’s with the grouchy face? He didn’t seem that bad.” Buffy said, as she led him to their next destination.

Angel just scowled in return, more than a little annoyed (and jealous) by Doyle’s comments towards Buffy.

“Well I like him.” Buffy said before moving ahead.

Angel let out a growl, hoping that their next stop was a bit less eventful.


Thirteen

It didn’t take Buffy and Angel very long to track down the next bar; surprisingly it wasn’t difficult at all. It was a small place on the edge of the city, the near-abandoned street and little lighting made the small building easy to spot. Buffy looked at Angel and nodded, slowly she crept inside.

The room was small; there was a bar at the far side with stools lining it, and a few tables scattered through the space. The lights were muted, that combined with the dark violet, red and black colour scheme made it hard to make out specific faces. There were only a few people inside, three or four sitting at the bar and maybe seven or eight more scattered at the tables. Quiet music played in the background, sad, melodious songs, mostly.

Buffy stepped to the side of the room, enfolding herself in the shadows. As she looked closely at some of the people at the bar she was surprised to see a lot of them weren’t human; a yellow-skinned demon with red horns sat with his back to her, drinking a shot of whiskey. She was thankful when no one bothered to look her way, warriors weren’t usually welcomed in bars like this (with or without people who were obviously demons) and although she suspected Angel might draw some attention, most of them (the demons anyway) would have recognized he wasn’t human immediately, not considering him a threat. As she walked to the far side of the bar she spotted a man in the dark corner, only visible by his glass and the golden-ringed finger that held it. Buffy looked back at Angel momentarily before heading to the table.

Slowly she drew closer to the table and stopped a few inches from the edge.

“You know where I can find some paper?” she asked, her voice even.

Angel looked at her puzzled, but held back his objections. The man at the table sat up.

“What kind are you looking for?” the stranger asked.

“Grey.”

The man stood up, his face coming into view. He was fairly tall; his piercing blue eyes stared at the two. He had long, dark hair that hung to his shoulders, and was dressed in black paints, with a dark grey shirt, matched with a red blouse underneath. He blended into the room well, almost impossible to spot unless you knew where to look. The stranger surveyed the two before he nodded, and led them across the bar into a back room. It was decorated in the same way as the front, instead of a bar there were a few tables and it was free of other costumers. The dark-haired man sat down and looked up at them expectantly.

“Linds. Good to see you again.” Buffy said, smiling slightly.

Lindsay nodded, a smirk crossed his face.

“Good to see you too. Wish I could say you look taller than the last time we met. Who’s your friend?”

“Angel.” The vampire replied simply.

Lindsay just nodded, understanding why most people didn’t say much. This wasn’t a personal visit; it was business.

“You’re not entirely human.” It wasn’t a question: it was a statement.

Angel smirked,

“Neither are you.”

“Touché.” He said, before turning to Buffy, “What do you need to know?”

Buffy sat down; reluctantly, Angel did the same.

“I hear there’s a new group in town, demons. What are they and whose side are they on?” Buffy asked, keeping her voice strong.

Angel was amazed at her change in demeanour, gone was the fun, teasing, energetic woman he knew, instead she was serious and to the point, not showing any emotion. Her voice was stern and forceful, not quite commanding but still, it held a certain threat to it, the confidence she held in her power seeming much larger than what Angel had witnessed earlier. He suppressed a smile, this woman never ceased to amaze him.

Lindsay took a sip of his drink,

“A group of seven, all of them are demons but to the naked eye they look human. They came in last week; four of them are peaceful, just looking for a place to lie low. Two of them are more violent, they figure they can get some easy victims here, you’ll wanna look out for them but they’re gonna be more minor. Stirring up bar fights and mugging the odd person. One of them though, the tallest of the group, he’s in line with one of the generals of the demon forces based in San Francisco. He’s the one you’re gonna have to get.”

Buffy nodded, absorbing the information.

“It’s only the beginning.” Lindsay said, pulling Buffy from her thoughts.

“What do you mean?”

“There’s something coming. Something Big. Nobody knows what it is but it’s gonna change the face of the planet, the war, society, everything. Every being on earth can feel it on some level; some are ignoring it, others are trying to escape, but most of all everyone is afraid. No one can stop this thing from happening, and it’s sending a lot of people into panic. We don’t know any specifics, we don’t even know what exactly it’s gonna be, all anyone can figure out is that it’s soon… and it’s coming whether we’re ready for it or not.”

Both Buffy and Angel were silent, they gave each other a quick glance, doing there best to keep their emotions concealed.

Buffy turned to Lindsay,

“Is there anything else?”

Lindsay shook his head.

“No, like I said it’s all a big question mark at this point. That’s why the demons are sending in spies, they want to know what the council knows, but not even they have much info yet. It’s gonna be one hell of a ride, that’s for sure.” He said, giving Buffy a smirk.

Buffy nodded. She and Lindsay didn’t know each other very well, they weren’t exactly friends, but they respected each other. She knew what he said was the truth; after all, he didn’t need to lie. Standing up, she looked to Angel then back at Lindsay.

“We’ll see you around. Stay clear.” She said, and exited the bar with Angel closely behind her.

The two chose to walk down the back streets, knowing that there would be fewer soldiers there. Angel turned to Buffy.

“Stay clear of what?” he asked.

“The radar. Both the council and the demons are after him, they’d rip him apart to get answers. He’s just smart enough to evade them.”

“And the paper thing is some code?”

Buffy smiled,

“Kind of. Anything really works, it’s just in case council people are around. The colours are just what side you’re on at that time. Black is the demons, white is the council, and grey is neutral. It’s used all around the not-supposed-to-be-there part of the colony. Kinda cheesy when you think about it.” Her brow furrowed in thought.

Angel nodded. He was torn between going into serious-mode over the possible apocalypse (semi- productive thinking), or smiling over how unbelievably cute Buffy looked right now. Banishing the thoughts from his mind (or trying to), he decided to change the subject from Buffy-cuteness.

“Do you think he was lying?”

“Nope.” Buffy said lightly.

Angel gave her an incredulous look.

“Why not?”

“He doesn’t have to.” At Angel’s glare, Buffy continued, “He doesn’t work for anyone, he plays by his own rules and made sure he has more than enough protection for himself. Lindsay does things for one simple reason: he wants to. He won’t do anything for anyone unless he feels like it. He has no reason to lie to us, nothing would be gained, and nothing would be lost. And since I’m such a cute little blonde he tells me what I need to know without argument.”

Angel nodded, somehow making sense of that. Lindsay seemed like an interesting man, it was obvious he would have one hell of a story to tell. Although he couldn’t stop the small bit of annoyance he felt for Buffy knowing him so long (and obviously encountering him before), Angel didn’t think he was lying. As unfortunate as the truth seemed.

“We’d better get to Giles’, I’m sure he’ll want to hear all about the nice shiny apocalypse.” Buffy said, only half-joking.

Angel laughed a bit, leave it to Buffy to bring humour out of a doom-and-gloom situation. He noticed that she yawned and was beginning to lean on him slightly; he looked down at her blonde head.

“Tired?” he asked softly.

“Mmhm,” Buffy said wearily, “Giles woke me up too early. Didn’t sleep enough.”

“Come on, the faster we get to Giles’, the faster you can get some sleep… or if you wanted I could go tell him on my own, you could go home.”

Buffy smiled,

“And let you have all the gossiping fun? No way, besides we were there for like five minutes, explaining it to Giles won’t take that long.”

”And you absolutely are certain that’s what he said? You didn’t hear him wrong?” Giles asked.

Buffy and Angel had arrived at his house over an hour ago; they were both sitting in chairs in the library, doing their best to stay awake.

Buffy sighed,

“Yes Giles for the zillionth time we’re sure. We did not hear him wrong, the music was not too loud, demons did not attack us, he was not lying or controlled by a spirit, I did not hit my head, neither of us are drugged, I don’t have short term memory loss, we’re positive that’s what he said now can I please go home!”

Giles gave her an annoyed look.

“Buffy I don’t care for your attitude. We are talking about what could very well be the end of the world here and you’re worried about a few extra hours sleep!”

“Well at least my way I’d be able to die HAPPY!” Buffy retorted, banging her head on the table.

Giles sighed in frustration. Angel, after remaining mostly silent for the evening, decided to intervene.

“Mr. Giles, we’re all tired. It’s obvious that something is going to happen but if Lindsay’s right it won’t be around for a while. An extra few hours sleep isn’t going to hurt at this point, and that way we can look over it again tomorrow when we’re not all at each other’s throats.”

Buffy looked at him thankfully, before giving Giles a pleading look.

The trainer sighed,

“Yes, you’re right. Go home and rest, come back tomorrow sometime and we’ll look over it again.”

Buffy smiled weakly.

“Thanks Giles. ‘Night.”

“Goodnight Buffy, and you as well Angel.”

Angel nodded and led Buffy out the door; they walked to the street before turning to each other.

“So, I guess this is where I get off.” Buffy said, almost visibly wincing at the words.

“I guess, I could walk you home if you wanted.”

“No, it’s fine. I know you’re tired too and your place is in the other direction. I’ll be fine.”

Angel nodded,

“Are you coming over tomorrow? For training.”

“I’d love to, but I think Giles has us book bound. How about I meet you here sometime tomorrow and if he lets us out of the cell early we can go to your place. After all, I owe you a butt kicking.” She said, smiling slightly.

“We’ll see.” With that, Angel turned and walked away. “Goodnight Buffy, sweet dreams.”

“Goodnight!” Buffy said.

She stared at the empty space where he had stood for several moments, before slowly heading to her place.

Over an hour later, Buffy was lying in her bed, her eyes fixed on the ceiling. She was beyond tired and needed her sleep for tomorrow, but no matter how hard she tried she could not drift off. A part of her wished she didn’t know why, but it was all too obvious. Angel wasn’t there. She almost laughed, it had only been a couple days yet even now she felt strange… like a part of her was missing without him by her side. When he put his arms around her she felt so safe and protected, one thing that she hadn’t ever had before. Now she felt uncomfortable in her darkened room.

Her apartment didn’t seem like home to her. It wasn’t personal or decorated, it was merely a place that she ate, showered, slept and so on, she hadn’t ever realised how little she had settled in. She groaned, and buried her face in her (very un-Angely) pillow and closed her eyes. Wishing that her handsome companion were there with her.

Across town, Angel wasn’t having any more luck than Buffy. He’d given up trying to sleep a couple hours ago and pulled out his sketchpad. So far, he had several drawings of Buffy, yet even one of his most relaxing hobbies wouldn’t put him to sleep. Looking at the clock, he realised it was only ten minutes later than the last time he checked. He groaned and got up to make some coffee. Maybe if he drank enough, he could knock himself out for a couple hours.


Fourteen

Buffy sat in a metal chair, pouring over books that had been scattered around the table. It was late in the day; she had arrived at Giles’ early that morning (after a very unrestful night) and they had been searching through his (rather large) collection of books, ever since. Buffy stared at the page, trying her best to concentrate on the words in front of her. It seemed like she had read this book a thousand times, and yet she still could not understand most of what she was reading. She could count on one hand how many books she’d read thoroughly in her life, it wasn’t as though she was illiterate, she just would much rather be doing something else. Groaning, she pushed her current book aside and turned to her trainer.

“Giillllllllesss!” she drawled, giving him a pleading look. “This is pointless! I don’t even know what I’m looking for!”

Giles gave her a weary glance,

“Buffy you know how important this is. I admit, this work is somewhat tedious but it’s more than necessary.”

“But come on! I mean everyone is already looking for this! The council, the demons, probably everyone in between. Why don’t we just wait for them to find it?” she said, a pout crossing her face.

“Forgive me, but I feel much more comfortable with us finding the information, rather than the demons who wish to annihilate us or the berks at the council.”

Admitting that he did have a point, Buffy sighed.

“Seriously though, you’re totally breaking the rules here! The council told you not to snoop through these majorly boring books, so we really should put them back. I mean, those rules are there for a reason! I’d be wrong to just throw them aside because we feel like it.”

Giles laughed,

“I’m sorry Buffy, it’s just…. A lecture coming from you about following the ‘rules of the council’, is quite funny.”

Buffy scowled and looked down at her abandoned book once again.

“I’m not that bad.” She mumbled.

After a half-hour, Buffy gave up trying to concentrate on the book and looked up at Giles. He was madly scribbling notes on a pad of paper, going through books at lightning speed. She wasn’t sure if he was anxious because he finally gets to see what secrets the council didn’t want him to know, or if his frenzy truly was out of worry. She honestly didn’t see why he was freaking. The idea of what Lindsay told them was unsettling, but it wasn’t going to happen for a while. She knew that if she voiced her thoughts to Giles he would just tell her that she’s not seeing the ‘big picture’. Of course she was worried about it Lindsay’s warnings, but pointless ‘researching’ wasn’t going to make it go away. A small part of her wanted to believe that this thing (whatever it may be) would be for the best, but given what she knew of the war, the chance of that seemed slim to none. When she thought about it, things for Giles probably seemed even more grim.

In all the years she had known him, he was usually a more or less optimistic person. But as she grew older, she quickly realised how cynical he was when it came to the war. She could still remember the day she found out why. She had asked Gunn’s trainer one day when she was visiting Gunn (he had been off training sick all week), if something had happened to Giles and reluctantly, he had told her. Years before she had arrived at the colony, there was an attack by a large army of demons on the council base. The council had received warning of it a few weeks prior, but at the time had brushed off the caution, since they hadn’t seen anything to indicate an attack. The army was larger than anyone had expected, and even with the council’s forces; a good part of the colony was severely damaged, and more than a quarter of the population had died. Giles had been at Headquarters at the time, however his wife had been killed. Buffy was surprised at this news, she didn’t think Giles had ever been married, but then again, she could understand why he had never told her.

Apparently, the loss of his wife had been hard on him, not only had his outlook on the war become dismal, but she had noticed he had little tolerance for demons. She had been surprised by Giles’ seemingly ‘light’ reaction to Angel, even though he trusted her judgement, she couldn’t believe how easily he seemed to accept him. Her mind went back to when Giles had asked to talk to him alone, although Angel had seemed alright when he came out, a part of her had worried about what Giles would have said. And if he was really that accepting, why was it different with Angel?

Her thoughts were interrupted, however, by a soft knock at the front door. Thankful for a distraction, Buffy quickly got up and headed to the front entrance. Yawning, she opened the door, to reveal a familiar face.

“Angel! Hi.” She said, surprised that she didn’t notice how late it was.

“Hi.” He said, smiling a little.

Buffy stared at him for a few moments before she snapped out of her thoughts and opened the door further.

“Come in.”

“Thanks.” Angel said as he entered the room.

Buffy led him to the library; finally she noticed that he was carrying a small stack of books.

“What are those?” she asked curiously, as they entered the library.

“I looked through some of my books last night, I thought these might have something in them.” He held the books out to Giles.

“These books are of ancient prophecies and such, yes? The council claimed they were lost in a battle several centuries ago.” Giles said, surprised, as he looked over the covers.

Angel just shrugged and sat down, examining some of the books on the table.

“You’ve gone through these?” he asked

“Most of ‘em. And they all say squat about this- whatever it is.” Buffy said, somewhat grouchily.

“Yes, I’m afraid we have yet to find anything significant.” Giles said distractedly.

Noticing how absorbed he was in Angel’s books, Buffy stood up, a cunning smile planted on her face.

“Well Giles, you know we haven’t found anything yet, and you have those really helpful books. So maybe Angel and I should go out for a quick patrol, so we don’t get in your way. Check back in a couple hours?”

“Yes, of course.” Giles mumbled, his eyes transfixed on the page.

Smiling, Buffy quickly grabbed Angel’s hand and pulled him out of the house.

As soon as the couple made it outside, Buffy let out a deep breath.

“I don’t know where you found those books but I’m eternally grateful.” She said, walking towards the downtown.

“No, problem…. Where are we going?”

“Patrolling of course. You didn’t think I could take advantage of, and lie to Giles in the same sentence did you?”

Angel resisted the urge to smile.

“Buffy I don’t want you to get in trouble.”

“Oh don’t worry,” Buffy said, she reached into her boots and pulled out two stakes. “See? I’m prepared. One for you and one for me.”

Angel took the offered stake.

“That’s not the kind of trouble I was talking about.”

Buffy sighed,

“Don’t worry about the council, they won’t catch us.”

Knowing that there was no point in arguing with her, Angel fallowed the blonde through the back streets. As they walked through the dark alleys, Buffy became all-too aware of how close Angel was staying. She was partially relieved that he wasn’t too far away, since she couldn’t see well in the dark, but him being that close was somewhat distracting.

Suddenly, she felt Angel’s hand touch her shoulder, signalling for her to stop.

“What’s wrong?” she whispered, not seeing anything out of the ordinary.

“You hear that?”

Buffy listened closely, the air was silent, but as she waited she heard something-footsteps. Just as she realized what they were, a figure emerged from behind the shadows, leaping towards them. Buffy and Angel quickly took defensive stances; it looked to be a dark-haired woman. She flew towards Buffy, the blonde quickly dodged the attack and turned around just in time to block a punch coming her way. Before Angel had a chance to react, Buffy kicked out at the brunette, sending her flying down the alley, and closer to the light. Buffy fallowed her, but froze as soon as her attacker came into the light.

“Faith?” she said, allowing herself to relax.

The brunette, looked from Buffy to Angel for a moment, before realization dawned on her face.

“B? Damn, I thought you and your guy here were a couple ‘a vamps. Gunn said you weren’t supposed to be out this late.”

“Ya, well, I had a thing…. And I was going stir crazy so….”

Faith nodded,

“Ya, I get you. Just do us all a favour and be a little more careful! If somebody had seen you, you’d have a major problem. The council’s been running around like crazy lately, they’d probably just have you locked up for a few months.”

Buffy glanced at Angel for a moment.

“Why? What’s going on?”

“Haven’t you heard? Demons are starting to sneak in again. The council’s been ordering us all to find them before the public find out. If news got out that our colony wasn’t as locked-up-tight as it seemed, people’d go nuts over it!”

Buffy nodded, so the council knew about the demons already.

“So, who’s the boy-toy?” Faith asked, looking Angel up and down. A sly smile crossed her features.

Angel looked to Buffy, his eyebrow raised slightly at Faith’s words.

“Oh, um… Faith this is Angel, Angel this is Faith.”

“Hey, how you doing?” Faith said, before turning back to Buffy. “So, our virgin mary finally got herself a guy?”

Buffy’s face turned bright red, to the point where even in the dark; it was near impossible that Angel wouldn’t notice.

“Actually, Angel and I are just friends.” She said, her eyes stared at her feet.

“Ohh, sure, gotcha.” Faith winked at Angel, “Well I’ll leave you and your friend alone. Just do me a favour and be fast with whatever it is you’re doing. There’s double the warriors out there than usual.”

Buffy nodded,

“I will. Thanks.”

“You owe me!” Faith yelled, as she faded into the distance.

“She seems…. nice.” Angel said, a smirk evident on his features.

Buffy did her best, to suppress her irrational jealousy. Faith was her (kinda) friend, but Buffy knew all too well what most guys thought of her. And “nice” was usually an understatement.

“That’s Faith. Always with the nice.”

“Has some interesting viewpoints too.”

She needed to kill something. As in now.

“Yep, crazy girl. There’s a graveyard a couple minutes from here, we should go, check it out.” Not bothering to wait for him, Buffy went ahead.

Angel decided to ignore the abrupt change of subject and fallowed Buffy before she was out of his sight.

“Did I say something wrong?” he asked, when he had finally caught up.

Buffy sighed and turned to face him,

“No, it’s not you, I’m sorry it’s just-” Buffy stared up at him, as though debating whether or not to say something. “I just didn’t get much sleep last night.”

She put on the best smile she could muster; her lack of sleep was part of it.

Angel nodded,

“Oh, I couldn’t really sleep either.”

Buffy was quiet for the rest of their trip to the graveyard. As they approached the cemetery, Buffy realised for the first time how deserted it was. She had gone on patrol loads of times, but hadn’t ever been caught. True, the graveyards weren’t exactly full of un-life, but she didn’t ever remember seeing anyone else going through them. It was strange; in a lot of ways this graveyard felt more like home than any building she had lived in before.

Giles had always been lenient when it came to her patrols, but even with his watchful eyes, he had no idea how often she had come out here. When she was a young girl, she used to sneak out in the middle of the night, and sit up in a big oak tree in the middle of the central cemetery. It was her only real escape from the life of training she had, the one place where she could be herself.

After a few minutes of walking aimlessly between the gravestones, Buffy stopped, and looked up at Angel’s questioning gaze.

“It’s so weird, I haven’t even known you all that long, and now… it’s almost like I can’t imagine you not being here. Like I’ve known you since I was a little kid or something.”

Angel nodded, silently urging her to continue.

“Angel, I think… I mean I’m not sure because it’s never really happened- to me before but…. I- I t-think… I think that I l- oooof!”

Before Buffy knew what had happened, she was tackled to the ground, her head dizzy from the blow. She looked up to see four men clothed in black robes standing around her. Several more were coming her way, and from what she could hear, Angel had his hands full as well. Struggling, she jumped onto her feet, immediately the robed men surrounded her. They all attacked at once; their blows harder than any she had ever endured before. Every time she managed to block an attack, three others seemed to come out of nowhere. She cried out as one of them hit her kneecap, causing her leg to give out. Pain shot through her body, as four of the men grabbed her arms, successfully restraining her.

Suddenly, a loud growl reached Buffy’s ears. Despite the immediate throbbing it caused, her head shot up to see her companion. Angel was on his knees, he had bruises and cuts all over his body as well, and five men were crowded around him. She watched as he tried to fight them off, but there were too many for him to handle. Out of the corner of her eye, Buffy saw a glint moving towards him, horror shot through to her very soul as she realised that one of the men had pulled a knife. Buffy renewed her struggles, yelling out to Angel. Everything was happening so fast, so loud, voices were ringing in her skull; the throbbing of her head was so much she could barely stand it. They were too strong, she couldn’t get them off, she couldn’t do this, she had to do something!

Angel’s shrill yell pierced through the air.

Buffy snapped.

With a thunderous cry, she lashed out, throwing her assailants off of her. As they came running towards her, she reflectively attacked, sending them to the ground. Almost blind with rage, she quickly advanced on Angel’s captors, three of them came towards her, as one of them tried to land a punch, but Buffy quickly snapped his arm and threw him away. As the other two ran to her she grabbed their heads and knocked them together, sending their unconscious bodies to the ground. Jumping at the one with the knife, she grabbed his arm, causing him to fall alongside her. Struggling to get the knife away, she eventually gained the upper hand, getting on top of him; she thrust the knife, stopping only a hairsbreadth away from his neck.

“Lei fallirà.” He spat, leaning his head back as he prepared for the devastating blow.

Quickly Buffy knocked her head against his, putting him out cold. Standing up, she pocketed the knife and ran over to Angel, who was sitting on the ground, with a look of shock evident on his now rigid face. This went unnoticed to Buffy as she quickly threw her arms around him, as though to reassure herself that he was there. Pulling back, she looked at him with wide eyes, her body still whirling with energy. As she tried to ask him if he was okay, one of the robed men let out a groan. The others seemed to be coming to, Buffy held Angel’s arm and pulled him up.

“Giles.” She said simply, her head suddenly reeled.

Angel nodded, and the two quickly began heading to Giles’, hoping that they would be able to make it there before their “friends” caught up. Buffy leaned heavily against Angel, suddenly her body began to shake, her head spun. The last thing she saw was Angel’s vampiric, worried, face as everything faded to darkness.


Fifteen

Giles stood in the library, suddenly wishing that he had a nice big bottle of brandy with him. He looked almost longingly to the door, contemplating how far he could make it before his colleague caught up. Standing before him was a tall, younger trainer, who over the last few years Giles had made a point to avoid. He was dressed more-or-less casually, with a light-brown tweed sweater and a red plaid shirt underneath. He had dark, short hair, and glasses. Although he had long given up the suits he wore when Giles had first met him, he was still far from “laid back”.

Giles and Wesley had known each other for several years, and had never exactly been “friends”. They had met just after Buffy and Faith had begun training together, and since Wes was Faith’s trainer, they had seen all-too much of each other before Faith had been put on duty. They didn’t hate each other, but Wesley had always been pretty firm believer in the council’s regulations and what it stood for. Not too many years ago, he had almost had Buffy re-assigned to another trainer, after informing the council about the leniency Giles showed towards her. Ever since, Giles was wary around the younger man, and had done his best to avoid any kind of confrontations with him.

Tonight, however, he didn’t have much of a choice.

Ever since Faith had been put on duty, Wesley hadn’t had to train her as much, which meant that he performed more of the council’s “chores” now. He had arrived an hour ago to discuss Buffy’s punishments (and to ensure that she was fallowing them accordingly), only to find Giles buried in books that he wasn’t supposed to be reading, and Buffy nowhere in sight. The two of them had been bickering about what to do, and Wesley was currently drowning on about how “inappropriate” his actions were.

“Mr. Giles, I honestly don’t know what to do. You were told that these resources are off-limits yet you insisted on disobeying orders. What do you expect me to tell the council?”

“Well I was hoping that you’d tell them I was doing a splendid job and that the world’s all merry and grand.” Giles said dryly.

“This is no laughing matter Rupert! You know as well as I do how unforgiving the council can be. They’d have you behind bars before you knew what hit you.”

Giles rolled his eyes.

“Yes, and I’m sure you would be so heart-broken by that. Imagine you, telling the council something just to get me fired? Besides, I’d love to see how they worm their way out of that headline ‘council locks up trainer for looking at big-bad books’.”

Wesley sighed,

“I suppose I deserved that. But despite what you may think I don’t wish to ‘have you fired’. I have to insist, however, that you stop what you are doing immediately!”

“I can’t do that. You know something is going to happen Wesley, and I plan to find out what it is so-”

“So what? You can stop it? Forgive me, but I can’t see any of us stopping whatever this is. No one even knows if it’s going to be a bad thing or not.”

“Are you that much of a nit? We didn’t prepare last time and look what happened, I honestly can’t think of anything that could even begin to end this war anymore.”

“Well putting your pessimism aside, I doubt getting thrown behind bars is going to do much good for either you or Buffy. Not only that, but you have a substantially greater chance of doing something productive without your hands cuffed together.”

Giles sighed and fell into a nearby chair, knowing that Wesley was right. The amount of sleep he’d achieved since Buffy brought him Lindsay’s warnings was slim to none, and as a result his patience and manners were suffering. He took a deep breath, before turning to the other trainer once again.

“It’s obvious that we have a problem here, so how about we both stop this pointless bickering and start working on a solution?”

“Agreed.” Wesley replied in a firm voice. Members of the council were trained for much of their lives, as were their warriors, and one of the top things they were taught was how to solve a situation in the most logical and efficient way possible. “What do you suggest?”

“Buffy, for the most part, has done extremely well at obeying the punishments shown by the council. As for my research, it is a breach of protocol however it is hurting no one. And perhaps it would be much better if no one found it, given the council’s state at the moment.”

Wesley considered his words for a moment,

“I will agree to overlook Buffy’s recent escapades, but I can not simply ignore something like this. It is a direct violation of the rules.”

“Rules that have no purpose in being there in the first place!” Giles shot back.

“That is not for you or I to decide!”

“Says the idiots who’ve never staked a vampire before in their life!”

“That doesn’t matter!”

Before Giles had a chance to retaliate, the loud bang of the front door being kicked open rang through the room. Fallowed quickly by a loud, almost fear-filled yell.

“GILES!”

The two trainers exchanged a quick glance before racing in the front hall. Giles’ eyes widened in both horror and shock at the sight that greeted him. Angel was standing in the entrance, injuries plainly visible on his body, a limp Buffy in his arms. His face revealed the vampire that he was, his face now rigid and fanged, and his eyes glowing amber. He heard Wesley take in a gasp behind him, undoubtedly suppressing a scream.

“What in god’s name happened?” Giles said loudly, leading the vampire to a nearby couch to lay Buffy on.

“We were attacked…. there were so many, they were too strong- I don’t know how, she just lashed out… I couldn’t help her-” Angel ranted, a thousand emotions playing through his mind at once.

“Angel calm down! I need to know if she was poisoned.” Giles said, barley managing to remain calm himself.

“No- I... maybe, I don’t know! I didn’t see but that doesn’t mean…”

“She’s breathing and has a pulse, that’s a good sign.” Giles muttered, taking his attention off the raving vampire to quickly look over Buffy’s injuries.

“Is she alright?” Angel asked more harshly than he meant.

“Yes, I believe so. Was she knocked out by one of your attackers?”

“No, she got rid of most of them, we started walking and she passed out. I don’t know what happened, I’ve never seen anyone move like that. She was so strong, it doesn’t make sense!”

Wesley watched in shock as the scene in front of him unfolded. He had heard of the ensouled vampire being seen training Buffy, but he couldn’t have expected behaviour like this. He hadn’t ever seen anyone react this strongly to a warrior getting harmed, especially not when it’s technically her job to kill you. The vampire seemed distraught, and so focused on Buffy that he was either unaware or ignoring his own injuries.

“Wesley!” Giles called, pulling the trainer from his thoughts.

“Yes?”

“Up the stairs and to the right there’s a closet with a first aid kit. I’m going to need a few cloths, bandages, and a bowl of cold water.”

Wesley nodded and headed off. Giles turned to Angel.

“Angel sit down. Buffy is going to be fine, I need you to try and calm down.”

Taking a deep breath, Angel nodded and knelt down next to Buffy. He could hardly believe how much this was affecting him, but despite his rational side, the inner conflicts of emotions were raging. No matter how hard he tried, he wasn’t going to be near “calm” anytime soon.

Faith smiled as she walked through the familiar streets of the colony. She and Buffy had trained together for years now, and although they had never been ‘pyjama-party best friends’, she’d picked up a few things here and there. One of them being, Buffy’s love life- or total lack thereof. She didn’t understand why, but Buffy had always stayed away from guys, claiming that she didn’t ‘have time for a boyfriend’, and was completely oblivious if/when any guy liked her. Riley, for instance, had liked Buffy for years now but she had always brushed off his attempts at asking her out. Well ‘brushed off’ maybe wasn’t the word, she had always thought he was just trying to be friends and had successfully ditched any of his efforts so far. Riley was an okay guy, not terrible-looking, but Buffy had always found him annoying, and as for Faith, she was much too into the ‘sad puppy dog’ thing he had going for him.

Needless to say, Buffy had never really had a boyfriend before. And Faith knew it. Which meant that Buffy had to expect an odd joke or two at her expense, now that she had a new “friend”. The look on their faces when she brought up “boy-toy” made Faith laugh, Buffy’s face had practically turned into a tomato and Mr. Gorgeous’ expression was half-embarrassment, half-smirk. When she thought about it, she hadn’t actually seen that guy before. It was rare for new people to come into the colony; it made her wonder where exactly he was from (and how Buffy of all people had managed to snag him). She was glad Buffy had found a guy (maybe now she’d loosen up a bit with the getting on duty thing), but Faith couldn’t help her surprise at the tall stranger she had met. Buffy was her friend, and she didn’t want to be mean or anything, but he seemed anything but her type. She always figured she’d end up with some nerdy, soldier guy, not a mysterious hunk like that.

Faith shrugged as she came up to her familiar compound, sometimes people can surprise you. She led herself through the halls until she reached her apartment, and speedily typed in her access code and walked in. Looking around, she noticed a low light coming from her kitchen, that wasn’t there when she left. Picking up the nearest object (which turned out to be a huge textbook- thank you Wesley) she approached the entrance to hear a plate clanging on the table. Quickly, she leaped into the kitchen and tackled a figure by her fridge, knocking them to the ground. She lifted up the book, ready to knock whoever it was who broke in, but quickly stopped as the familiar face registered.

“Wow! Hey! I give up! Don’t kill me or anything!” his voice said, half-joking.

Faith smirked and got off the man, throwing her book onto the counter.

“Jeez Charlie-Boy, what have I told you about breaking into my place?”

Holding his head, Gunn got up and pulled out a can of soda from the fridge.

“I was hungry, besides you gave me the code, so it’s not like I broke down the door or anything.”

Faith laughed and leaned against the counter. She and Gunn had been best friends for as long as she could remember. They’d grown up together, trained together, heck they’d even lost their teeth at the same time. He was the first guy who was willing to admit that she could kick his butt, and didn’t try to make up flimsy excuses as to why a girl beat him. He’d always respected her skills like he would any other warrior’s, and been there through all the tough times. She knew him almost as well as she knew herself, and could honestly say he knew her just as well. The one person in the world who she had ever opened up to completely…. Well, almost completely, after all, a girl’s gotta have her secrets.

“See I knew I’d regret that last martini! Next time I get drunk, do me a favour and don’t ask how to get into my apartment.”

Gunn laughed,

“Yeah well I don’t see why you’re complaining, I’m the poor sucker you assaulted.”

“Whatever, it serves you right for stealing my food! Besides, you’re not the first one tonight.”

“Seriously? What other innocent civilians did you beat up?”

Faith punched him lightly in the arm.

“You’re a tough guy, you’ll live. I actually jumped B and some guy in an alley, and hey get this, our little girl’s got herself a guy.”

“Buffy? I thought she wasn’t supposed to be out on patrol? And w-hey! Did you just say Buffy has a boyfriend?”

Faith gave a triumphant smile.

“Yep. She says they’re ‘just friends’ but the way they were looking at each other it was totally a bunch of crap.”

“Wow, surprise of the century, who’s the lucky guy?”

“Donno. Never seen him before. Not what I was expecting for B though, has the whole tall dark and handsome thing going for him. Real girlie name, like Angie, or something.”

Gunn’s eyes widened.

“Angel?”

“Ya! That’s it! Like I said, real girlie name. Pretty fine though, seems like the cryptic, mysterious type.”

Gunn sighed and sat down on a nearby stool, a sombre look on his face.

“Yo, Gunn what’s wrong?”

Gunn glanced at her.

“This guy, was he tall? Dark spiky hair, wearin’ black from head to toe?”

“Ya, I take it you’ve met?”

“Oh ya, me and my guys had the honour of escorting him to his apartment after he came. Donno why the council let him in, he freaks the crap outta me that’s for sure. Buffy caught up with us when we were on our way, I’ve heard rumours that she was seeing him, but I never thought she was like that.”

“Okay so this guy creeps you out? Why do I feel like I’m missing the main event here?”

Gunn rolled his eyes.

“He’s a vamp, Faith.”

“What?” Faith said, nearly chocking on the drink she’d just opened. “Buffy’s banging the undead?”

Gunn’s face distorted slightly,

“And thanks for the scary imagery there, haven’t been mentally scarred near enough today.”

“Seriously! What’s her problem! He’s a vamp, she’s a warrior, we kill demons, we don’t cuddle with ‘em.”

“Faith chill alright? I mean where are you getting that Buffy’s sleeping with him? We’re talking about BUFFY here. It’s freaky and a bit disturbing but she obviously knows what he is. Besides she’s a tough chick, she can handle herself.”

“But still, come on! It’s so ‘eeleh’!”

Gunn laughed,

“Ya, and like that soldier guy you were with last month was much better.”

“He was a perfectly okay guy, besides he had a pulse! I’ve gotta talk to B about this, it’s just too weird.”

Gunn gently grabbed his friend’s arm.

“Faith leave it. He didn’t seem overly hostile when I met him, and the council let him in so he can’t be that bad. For now we can leave the blonde wonder on her own, and the next time we see her we’ll mention it.”

Faith sighed, giving her friend an annoyed look.

“Fine. I don’t trust him though, and you can’t ask me to like him either. I don’t care if he’s neutered, a vamps a vamp and if he hurts Buffy…”

“Come on, if I remember correctly we had a night of poker and drinking planned.”

Faith gave him a weak smile and fallowed him into the living room, silently praying that Buffy knew what she was getting herself into.

Five hours had past since Angel had came racing in Giles’ front door, and still Buffy hadn’t woken up. Giles had assessed her injuries and concluded that she wasn’t physically hurt (past a few bumps and bruises and a nasty cut on her shoulder), and she’d probably just passed out from exhaustion after- whatever it was that she did. They had moved her to the downstairs living room and laid her on a larger couch so that she would be more comfortable, and Angel had been by her side ever since. After about an hour, he had finally managed to get his game face under control and be properly introduced to Wesley. Both trainers had given up trying to pry him from Buffy hours ago.

He was sitting in a small chair that he had pulled next to the couch and held Buffy’s hand in his, murmuring inaudible nonsense every now and again. She was going to be fine, he knew this, but seeing her collapse like that and be helpless to save her had scared him more than he would admit, and a part of him was afraid that if he left, she’d slip away completely.

The two trainers stood just outside the doorway, looking at the couple silently. Neither could ignore the obvious care Angel held for Buffy, and as they watched him they found themselves perplexed. What they were observing went against everything they had been taught, their beliefs, everything their modern-day society was based on was proved utterly false, by what was happening before their eyes. They couldn’t help but question how many things the council may have been wrong about.

Pulling Giles into the main hall, Wesley turned to him and spoke.

“Don’t worry about the council. They will not hear of your research from me.”

Giles nodded,

“Thank you. I appreciate it.”

“I have to admit, after seeing that display, it makes me wonder how superb the council really is.”

“Yes, it would seem so.”

There was a moment of silence before Wesley turned to the door.

“I’ll see you soon.”

“Yes, and thank you again.”

Wesley gave him a polite nod before heading out the door, realising that for the first time in his life, he felt like he’d actually done something right.

Angel sat by Buffy, her hand clutched in his own. He placed a gentle kiss to her hand, staring at her calm face. When she slept, a look of almost peace crossed her features, as though it was a relief for her to get away from the world. There was a lot he didn’t understand with her, why she held her feelings inside, or almost pretended to be someone else when others were around. She took on a shy, compliant demeanour, which slipped into place at lightning speed, as though it had become a reflex over the years. Now though, she didn’t look like she was sleeping, her face was more one of exhaustion, like her body was fighting to regain the energy that had been used so quickly.

Carefully he reached up and gently caressed her face, brushing a stray piece of hair from her features. He gave her a gentle smile.

“Wake up soon Buffy, I miss you.”

He sat by her side, oblivious to the world around him, praying that she would be all right.

”Am I in heaven here or am I in hell
At the crossroads I am standing
So now you’re sleeping peaceful
I lie awake and pray
That you’ll be strong tomorrow and we’ll
See another day and we will praise it
And love the light that brings a smile
Across your face...”

-Sarah McLachlan


Sixteen

Darkness. Everything was so dark. A cold feeling washed over her as she tried to take in her surroundings, it was all so muddled though, why couldn’t’ she see? Carefully, she began to step forward, her vision improved a little as she moved along; below her was a thick swamp, mist wistfully flowed along the ground. Trees hung heavily above her head, their leaves were almost too dark a green to make out without the aid of light. Behind her, she could almost feel something creeping up; reflectively she began moving faster, not daring to turn around. Suddenly, she heard leaves rustle behind her, fear shot through her veins as she began running, as fast as she could, anywhere that was away. As she moved faster and faster, she began to hear what started out as whispers, but were quickly turning to screams. Voices speaking in so many different languages, only the odd English word was audible through the chaos. She could feel the figure that was chasing her draw closer; her heart began to beat rapidly as her pulse rang in her ears. The voices were screaming at her now, so loudly that she couldn’t concentrate. Almost out of nowhere, her foot caught on a root; sending her to the ground. She scrambled to get up, but it was as though the root was holding her to the ground. She turned and let out a scream, as the dark figure engulfed her.

Buffy eyes flew open and she took in a sharp breath. She looked around in confusion, her mind still muddled from her dream. She was lying on a couch…. Somewhere. She probed her mind for the details, trying to put together the missing pieces. Suddenly it all came back to her, the fight, Angel’s injuries, her sudden strength. Angel… quickly she looked around, holding back a sigh of relief when she realized where exactly he was. He was sitting next to her, clutching her hand in his two larger ones. His head was down as he whispered something that sounded foreign, yet oddly familiar to her, although she had no idea what the words meant, he recited them like a prayer.

She stared at him for a moment or two, forgetting for a second her frightening dream and studying his strange behaviour. Finally finding her voice she spoke, her words sounded soft and raspy from her somewhat gazed state.

“Angel?”

She felt his hold on her hand tighten as his head shot up to stare at her. His face was one of shock and something else that she couldn’t quite figure out, before she had the chance to ask what was wrong, he flew forward and wrapped his arms around her.

“Buffy!”

He chanted her name over again, clutching her close he planted butterfly kisses in her hair. Awkwardly, she gently put her arms around him as well, more than a little surprised by his actions (given his usual less than forward demeanour). After a few moments, he finally pulled back, he held her face in his hands, a look of relief evident on his features.

“How are you feeling?”

Buffy took a moment to focus on her injuries. Her head hurt a little, and she knew that her arm was bruised, but nothing major.

“I’m alright.” She said simply, giving him a poor imitation of a smile.

He chuckled at her brush off of the wounds she had endured.

“Most of your bruises should be healed within a couple days, you have a cut on your shoulder that may take a little longer though.”

“And a bit of headache.” She added quietly, more for his benefit that her own.

He nodded,

“I’ll go get Giles.”

Buffy sighed and closed her eyes once again, her dream flashed through her mind. Through her life she’d had strange dreams, some were cryptic, most were frightening, but none had ever affected her as much as this one seems to have. She had a feeling that it wasn’t just some random dream, mysterious as it may be, it meant something… something that was going to- or perhaps already has, happened to her. And from what she had felt in the dream, she wasn’t sure if that was necessarily a good thing.

She was quickly brought out of her thoughts, however, when Angel came through the door, Giles close behind him.

“Hey.” She said wearily

“Buffy, I’m relieved to see that you’re awake. How are you feeling?” he asked, in a fatherly tone.

“I’m good.” She said lightly

“No pain at all?”

“Well a bit of a headache but other than that I’m super.”

She could feel Angel’s eyes on her; she didn’t have to look up to see his you’re-lying-and-I-know-it glare.

“Yes, well that’s good to hear.” Giles said, doing a horrible job of showing his surprise.

“So, what actually happened out there?” Buffy asked, sitting up to stare at the two. “I remember the fight and everything, but after getting to Angel everything kinda goes blurry.”

Giles looked to Angel pointedly.

“We started walking and you were leaning on me pretty heavily. You passed out after a couple steps; I caught you and carried you here. The guys that attacked us were coming, but I don’t think they followed.” Angel said, not taking his eyes off her.

Buffy resisted the urge to shift under his gaze.

“Ya- those guys. I don’t think they were completely human Giles. They were unbelievably strong.”

“Did you find anything strange about them? Tattoos or such?”

Buffy thought for a moment, before pulling a knife from her pocket.

“Here, I got it off one of the guys that jumped us; he looked like the leader or something. They wore black robes, and the one- he said something to me. I don’t know what it was, not English that’s for sure.”

“Do you remember what exactly he said?”

“It was weird…. Like ‘lee falleara’ or something.”

“Lei fallirà.” Angel spoke up, “It’s old-style Italian, means roughly ‘you will fail’.”

“You will fail? Fail at what? They’re the ones that attacked us.” Buffy said.

“That seems to be the question of the hour…. You speak Italian?” Giles asked Angel, somewhat intrigued.

“Among others.” He answered simply. “Did your friend know anything about what’s going on?”

Giles shook his head.

“No, I’m afraid not. It would seem the council is about as clueless as we are at this point.”

“Friend? Why do I feel like I’m missing something here?” Buffy asked

“Wesley came over earlier; council business.”

Buffy rolled her eyes.

“Oh joy.”

Ignoring Buffy’s remark, Angel turned to Giles.

“But now we’re ahead right? At least we know more than the council does at this point. Whoever attacked Buffy and me, I can’t believe that it was a mistake. We know that they’re Italian and that knife probably says something about them. And Faith said that the colony was full of demons.”

“Yes well it will certainly take some research but as unfortunate as your experience was it should defiantly bring us one step ahead.”

“Great, well if that’s all cleared up, I’m outta here.” Buffy said, getting up quickly, ignoring the wave of dizziness that rushed through her.

“Just a moment Buffy, we haven’t been able to determine what happened to you out there. Angel explained briefly what had happened when you ‘attacked’ but he doesn’t have the details. We were hoping that you could clear some of the details up.” Giles questioned

Buffy sighed before turning to him with an uninterested expression.

“Not much to tell. They pissed me off, I snapped. I kicked their butt end of story. I guess I passed out because I was tired or something.”

“Buffy I’ve never seen anyone move with that kind of power before. It doesn’t just pop out of nowhere like that.” Angel said, not taking his eyes off her.

“Look. Guys I’m really tired so I just want to go home and sleep. Can we do this tomorrow or something?” she said quickly, giving Giles a pleading look.

“Yes, of course Buffy, if you’re tired we can finish this later.”

Buffy nodded and headed for the door.

“I’ll walk you home.” Angel said, standing up.

“No!” Buffy said quickly, “No, it’s alright. I’ll be fine, and my place isn’t that far anyway. I’ll stop by tomorrow or something.”

Quickly she turned and walked out of the house, not looking back. Giles and Angel turned to each other, both with a worried look on their face. Angel sighed and shook his head, something wasn’t right, now he’d have to find out what.

Buffy moved around her apartment, glad that Angel hadn’t followed her, she went into her bathroom and with shaky hands washed her face. Once she was done, she grabbed a nearby towel and dried her features, noticing the small blood that came off onto the cotton. Curiously she looked up at the mirror, one of her cuts had reopened, but that wasn’t what caught her attention. As she looked at her reflection she wasn’t sure of how to react, carefully she ran her fingers across her face, not believing what she saw. Staring back at her was the same face, the same golden hair, but her eyes looked almost foreign even to her. She almost couldn’t recognize herself anymore. She broke into tears and fell to the ground, confusion and grief overwhelming her.

Angel sighed in frustration and worry as he moved around Giles’ library. It had been three days since Buffy had woken up and still she hadn’t stopped by, nor had she been seen anywhere. Giles had tried calling her a few times, but there was no answer, Angel himself had even stopped by her apartment but she either wasn’t there or just wouldn’t answer the door.

Giles had been keeping himself busy with research, trying not to worry, but even though Angel had spent most of the last two days helping him, his mind was mostly focused on Buffy. She had acted so strange that night, at first she seemed fine, but once he came back in the room it was like she was a completely different person. Dismissive and detached, not to mention the ‘stretching of truth’ that she had used when Giles had asked her how she was. She had been so unlike the Buffy he knew, he wasn’t quite sure how to react to that.

Sighing, he looked out a nearby window carefully, the sun was almost set, it would be risky going out, but if he stayed in the shadows he could manage it. He’d been racking his brain for where she might be, recalling every word she had ever said to him but each time he drew a blank.

“Giles?”

“Hm?” the trainer asked, looking up from his book.

“The warriors, most of them are teenagers right?”

“Yes, a majority of them are at least.”

“Well with that many teenagers wandering around, there has to be some place they go, to relax or hang out.”

Giles thought for a moment.

“I’m afraid I am not exactly ‘up’ with the hangouts these days. However Tara is upstairs I believe, she may have the answers you need, given that she is Buffy’s age.”

Angel nodded his thanks and made his way upstairs. He searched through the long halls before finally arriving at a partially opened door; carefully he gave it a soft knock, peeking inside.

Sure enough, Tara was sitting in a chair, a pile of papers beside her scribbled with small drawings. At the sound of his knock she looked up, giving him a small smile.

“Angel, hi.” She said, surprised, putting down a picture. “What can I do for you.”

“I just wanted to ask you something, I’m not disturbing you am I?”

“No, not at all! Come on in.”

Angel let out a breath of relief and sat across from her in a chair. He hadn’t really gotten to know Buffy’s surrogate sister, but he had seen her around the house a few times and she seemed nice. For the most part she was quiet, but friendly as well, Angel liked her.

“Have you heard from Buffy lately?” he asked, trying not to sound worried.

Tara shook her head.

“No, Giles told me a bit about what happened. It really doesn’t sound like Buffy at all.”

“I’ve tried going to her house, but there wasn’t an answer, and she won’t pick up her phone either.”

Tara just nodded.

“I was thinking, are there any places she might be? Places that people your age hang out or something?”

“Oh, well um… There’s not much to be honest, most of us just meet up wherever is handy. Oh! T-there’s this club! The Bronze, it’s just across town. Buffy used to go there a lot, but once she hit seventeen she just stopped for some reason. Other than patrolling I can’t think of any other place she might be.”

Angel nodded and stood up.

“Okay, thank you. I’m just going to…”

“Go.” Tara said with a smile. “Oh and Angel?” he turned to her, “I’m glad you met Buffy, it’s like she’s finally opening up to someone, it’s good for her.”

Angel gave her a small smile before heading out the door. He’d stop by his apartment on the way to get the address; hopefully Buffy had decided to go for a night out.

Buffy danced feverishly to the fast beat that whipped through the air. It had been over two years since she had come here, but as she moved to the strong rhythms of the music, she could almost forget about all that had happened. She closed her eyes and her mind drifted from the worries and fears that had clouded her mind for the past two days. She felt others move around her, close but never letting anyone touch, she let the music take her, the world flowing away with each moment.

Then she felt it, a small tingle starting at her spine and working its way through her body. She felt his eyes on her, and she urged herself to keep dancing, that maybe if she ignored him long enough he would go away. Her hopes went unanswered however, when she heard the song fade out. She slowed to a stop, simply standing on the dance floor with her eyes shut. Two strong arms wrapped around her and it took all she had not to move into his welcoming embrace. A slow melody came from the speakers, slowly the two began swaying to the music.

“What are you doing here?” Buffy asked softly, not turning to meet his gaze.

“Looking for you. You didn’t come by, I was worried.”

Buffy held back the tears that threatened to gather in her eyes. Taking a deep breath, she turned in his embrace and gave him a smile.

“I’m fine.”

“No Buffy you’re not.” Angel said, looking into her eyes. “You didn’t pick up the phone or answer your door, and you practically ran out of Giles’ the other day. This isn’t like you.”

“And how would you know? You barely know me Angel, how are you so sure that this isn’t just who I am?” she asked, raising her voice slightly

Angel didn’t reply, just looked away, causing Buffy to immediately regret her words.

“Look, I was tired alright? I didn’t hear anyone come to the door and my phone was buried somewhere in my apartment.”

“You know that’s not true Buffy. But you just cut everyone off like that, how are we supposed to help you when you’re pushing us all away!”

“You don’t know what it’s like!” Buffy said, almost yelling now.

“So tell me!” Angel said just a loudly, desperately trying to get through to her.

The people around them froze and stared at the two. Angel looked at Buffy expectantly, but the blonde just looked around at everyone, tears gathering in her eyes. Quickly she tore herself from Angel’s embrace and raced out the back door, walking as fast as she could without running. She had only managed to get a few steps away from the club before Angel grabbed her arm, turning her to face him.

“What do you want from me?” she yelled, breaking off his hand.

“I want you to talk to me Buffy! Yell at me, beat me up, just do something!”

“I don’t want to talk about it!”

“You have to! Look at what this is doing to you! What’s it even about? Is it what happened the other day? Then fine, what happened to you? How did you beat up those guys? Where did it come from!”

“I don’t know!” Buffy yelled, tears now pouring freely down her face.

Angel stared at her, worry and silent questions crossed his face.

“I-I don’t know what happened.” Buffy said again, in a quiet voice. “I saw t-them hurting you, a-and one of them had a knife. I was so scared, he was going to kill you and I couldn’t s-stop it…. I f-fought as hard as I could but it wasn’t enough, they were too strong. T-then I heard you s-scream, and it was like…. Like something i-inside me came out a-and I just snapped. It was like I wasn’t even in control… a-all I could think of was that they were h-hurting you, and I had to stop it.”

She looked up at Angel, her eyes that of a scared little girl.

“I had a dream… a-a nightmare. Something was chasing me and I couldn’t stop it, I couldn’t run fast enough and then it was… it was in me. There’s something inside me and I have no idea what it is. It’s strong but I can’t control it Angel! Something changed when it took over and I don’t know how to stop it. I’m so scared! I’m scared of what it is, and what it’s doing to me, and god Angel I’m scared of myself.” She sobbed, falling to the ground.

Angel caught her before she hit the pavement and sat holding her against his chest, as she clutched his shirt, weeping. His strong arms wrapped around her as he gently rocked them back and forth, whispering soothing nonsense in her ear. Buffy let it all out, the pain, the fear; her frame shuddered with sobs as grasped Angel as hard as she could.

After what seemed like hours, Buffy’s tears began to settle, Angel carefully lifted her chin up so she was looking up at him.

“Buffy, listen. I don’t know what this is, but I promise you we will find out. Alright? No matter how long it takes we will get to the bottom of this. But you have to remember this might be a good thing too. You saved both our lives, and even though you were dazed you were still so careful when you came to me; so clear-headed when we started walking. We’ll figure this out together, and until we do I’m going to help you learn to control this.”

Buffy looked at him questioningly.

“H-How?”

He gave her a small smile and shrugged.

“Different techniques, a lot of training. I’ve had a demon living inside me for nearly three centuries, you pick up a few things here and there.”

Buffy laughed, who would of thought Angel of all people could liven up such a serious situation. She didn’t know what to say, she hadn’t even considered that whatever it is that was inside her might not be evil, and the prospect of being able to control it brought her so much relief that she nearly burst into tears again.

“Thank you.” She said softly, giving him a small, but without a doubt true smile.

He just nodded, gazing down at her. Suddenly she felt all her worries and fears all melt away, replaced with new emotions of both love and lust. She gazed at him, as his eyes shifted from her own to her lips, his chocolate brown orbs seemingly darker than usual. She unconsciously licked her suddenly dry lips as they began to inch closer and closer to each other. She closed her eyes as they crept nearer, until they were a mere hairsbreadth apart. Their lips met in the softest of kisses, happiness and love washing through them. They moved closer, wrapping their arms around each other and deepening the kiss; both joyfully oblivious to the world around them. They were together, and for now, it was all that mattered.


Seventeen

The two sat on the deserted street, both blissfully unaware of the rain that threatened to fall over them. Angel had his arms wrapped around her body, a wave of emotions crashed over him as his tongue slipped between her soft lips. For weeks he had been dreaming of her, she had haunted him day and night and now here she was, writhing in his arms and clutching him like a lifeline.

In all his existence he had been with dozens of women, some who had devoted their entire life to pleasing and mastering the desires of others; who most men would kill to have, yet as he held this small blonde in his arms, in this dark, polluted alleyway, he had never felt such desire for another creature before. A simple kiss stirred more emotions within him than sleeping with any woman he had been with before, holding her in his embrace almost made him ache with need for her. It was more than just lust- that he was sure of. Even in his dazed state, he couldn’t ignore the screaming in his soul for her, or the impossible heartbeat he swore he could hear ringing in his ears. It was like he could never get close enough, but at the same time he could be perfectly content if this kiss was all he experienced in the rest of his existence.

A small voice inside his head was screaming to pull away, or to apologize; but caught in the rush of emotions and the feel of having her against him, he didn’t particularly care. And if her sudden moan was any indication- she wasn’t in any position to stop him.

It wasn’t until the skies opened up and rain began pouring over them, that either managed enough grip on reality to pull away. Suddenly drenched in the cold downpour, Buffy broke away, staring at Angel, her muscles unwilling to move. They gazed at each other in silence as they quickly realized what had happened, a thousand unspoken questions flew through their minds. Shock was evident across both their features, but mostly they were both too perplexed to say anything.

Suddenly realising their position, Angel started to pull away completely.

“We should get inside.” He chocked out, his voice almost too low for his companion to hear.

Buffy merely nodded, before detangling herself from him and slowly rising. Silently, he wrapped an arm around her shoulders and the two took off at a brisk pace across town, as he led her to the closest building he knew of.

Several minutes later, they both entered Angel’s apartment, completely soaked to the bone. He led her inside and closed the door behind them, signalling for her wait in the living room as he went to gather some towels. Not long after, he emerged again and handed her a fluffy white towel; she gave him a small nod in thanks before wrapping it around herself. After quickly drying himself off (since he had no real risk of catching a cold) he turned to his old (and appearingly long-abandoned) fireplace. For not the first time since he had arrived, he was thankful for the relatively ‘old’ design; although the council had upgraded some of the necessary appliances and made the apartment comfortably liveable, it was obviously what most people call a meagre home (which in Angel’s case, seemed to be a blessing in disguise).

Carefully, he loaded pre-cut pieces of wood into the opening and lit it, not long after; the room began to fill with heat from the blazing flames. He got up and turned to Buffy, studying her for a moment before speaking.

“Sit by the fire, it’ll help you warm up. I’m going to go make some tea.” He said quietly, her only reply another nod and a small smile.

Angel sighed as he moved into the kitchen, the last thing he wanted was to mess up the relationship he and Buffy had managed to form, but now everything was different- and at the same time not. His feelings for her remained the same, but now she obviously knew how he felt and was no doubt confused by his actions (just as he admittedly was by hers), and that changed everything. Not only was he worried that he had just ruined what they had, but he was also more than a little nervous about the feelings that the kiss (mistake or not) had stirred within him. He couldn’t remember ever feeling this aroused, or happy, or worried, or in love, or a zillion other emotions that were running through him- ever. He knew that he cared about her but now…. The realization of just how strong he felt struck him hard and fast, the recognition both giving him joy and scaring him out of his mind.

Groaning, he filled a pot with water and took out two mugs, hoping to sort out at least some of what happened before facing her again.

Meanwhile, Buffy sat curled up on the mantle, staring at the flames. A small part of her was amazed and excited about the old fashioned fireplace- another thing she hadn’t experienced before, but unfortunately her thoughts and worries overwhelmed any enthusiasm she had. Her mind replayed the earlier scene in shock; she didn’t know what had happened but she knew that it had affected Angel; in what way was anyone’s guess. She could feel him tense up on the way here, even as he had built the fire he was unusually concise and ‘avoid-y’. She had wanted to talk to him, to say something; but as she opened her mouth to speak no words had come out, a small nod the only reply she could give.

She had kissed him, made out with him right there in the alley with no warning whatsoever. As much as she wished she could blame it on her semi- breakdown (just another thing that she was completely embarrassed by), she vividly remembered that moment; and nightmares were the last thing on her mind. How could she have been so stupid? He was probably avoiding her in shock, torn between revulsion and how to tell her how much he wasn’t interested in her like that. She couldn’t help her added embarrassment by her actions themselves as well.

Over the years she had gone on a few minor dates, and obviously kissed a guy before, but usually it hadn’t gone beyond a simple peck; there was only once or twice that she had even kissed anyone like that before (and even then, it hadn’t emotionally come close to what had happened tonight). As part of their training, female warriors are taught that any kind of behaviour like that is both unneeded and unacceptable, given the amount of time the council needs the two genders to “mingle” and work together, it is no surprise how hard it is drilled into girls’ skulls from such a young age. They are taught to cover up their bodies and that the only time they should engage in anything even remotely sexual is if/when they are old and married. Not all girls responded to this rule (some, like Faith, rebelled against it completely), however being a naturally timid person already, it had always affected Buffy, and she couldn’t help the blush that crept across her features as she remembered her almost blatant behaviour. Just another thing she was sure Angel was less than thrilled about.

But her apprehension was more than just old regulations coming back to haunt her. Not only was she sure she had screwed up the friendship she had with Angel, but another thing that caused her to have doubts is thinking: if she could do it all again- would she take it back? When she had kissed him it was like the whole world melted away, she felt so safe and protected, like nothing could touch her. She had been filled with so much love and desire (most of which she wasn’t even aware she had), and honestly could not remember ever feeling that at peace; like she was slowly finding a missing part of herself. Of course she feared the rejection that was no doubt to come, as well as him telling her how much of a mistake it was, but she had been rejected by guys before, with Angel it was a totally different story. Not only would it end any romantic relationship they may have had, but hearing the words out loud would no doubt crush her heart (and the friendship that she had already grown to rely on).

She sighed again, tears threatening to fall. Ever since she first saw him, he had somehow made his way inside her; she had opened up to him like no one else before. Not even Giles, who had practically raised her, knew some of the things that she had confided in Angel. She had always been reluctant to let people into her life; it was the only way she had known to keep herself from getting hurt. But for some reason she felt a bond between them, something beyond what she could explain, and that had caused her to want more than anything, to let him into the most guarded parts of her heart, to put so much trust in him that talking to him about anything, seemed to flow freely from within. He unknowingly had the power to make her heart soar, but he could also hurt her more than anyone else could. She had seemed to grow so close to him, and now, because of one kiss, she may have ruined everything.

Holding back her tears, she was brought back to reality when she heard a pot clanging in the kitchen. Panic rolled though her, what was she supposed to say when he returned? How could she look him in the eye? How would he act around her? Realizing that she probably had a few more minutes to wait while the tea was steeping, she came up with the only solution she saw. At least the only one that would delay the talk that they were undoubtedly going to be forced to have.

A few minutes later, Angel returned to the living room with a hot cup of tea for his blonde companion. He doubted he would be able to hold off her questions for very long, so he’d decided it would be best to just get it out of the way now. However, as he walked into the room he froze. There, curled up next to the fire was a sleeping Buffy, her face expressionless, as her exhaustion had undoubtedly overwhelmed her. With a small smile, he put the mug back into the kitchen, before carefully picking up a now more-or-less dry Buffy, and carrying her to his bed. Gently he laid her down, slipping off her shoes, socks, and jacket, and removing the towel from around her body; careful not to wake her. Quietly, he managed to slip her under the sheets and put away her belongings for the morning. His own weariness had caught up to him, and he was somewhat thankful that she had fallen asleep, considering how little he probably would have been able to focus on what she was saying. Heading to the kitchen, he quickly gulped down the mug of blood he had prepared for himself, and brushed his teeth before heading back into the room, finding Buffy in the exact same place he’d left her.

Carefully he moved into the bed beside her, reflectively placing a loose arm around her before allowing sleep to take him.

Several minutes after he drifted off, Buffy peaked one of her eyes open, doing her best to determine if he was asleep. Thankful for his exhausted-dulled vamp senses, she took in a deep breath of relief, knowing that under usual circumstances, he would have easily heard her rapid heartbeat and known she wasn’t asleep. Sighing, she curled up close to him and closed her eyes, doing her best to nod off. She knew that things weren’t right, and that they’d have to have the dreaded talk once she woke up tomorrow, but until then she could pretend. Just for now, they could be a normal couple, falling asleep in each other’s arms. For now, ignorance was bliss.

It wasn’t until late the next day that Buffy felt herself drifting into consciousness. Slowly becoming more and more alert, she groaned and attempted to snuggle further into the large body that she had curled up to last night. When all she met was empty space, she sighed and carefully opened her eyes, thankful when she noticed that no sunlight was coming through the windows. She had never been a morning person to begin with; to be almost blinded by sunlight that usually poured into her room was anything but her idea of fun.

Yawning, she did her best to get up, slowly remembering what had happened the night before. Everything was a mess, they weren’t any further ahead than they were last night, but at least now she could tackle her embarrassment and worries fully rested. Looking around, she was surprised at the time, and even more so that she hadn’t felt Angel get up. Usually it was hard not to notice, considering how ‘tangled’ they somehow managed to get each and every night, but given how tired she was last night, she had probably fallen into too deep a sleep to notice.

Slowly getting up, she spotted her shoes and jacket on a nearby chair, presumably dried out over night. She made a mental note to thank Angel, sleeping in wet jackets and soggy shoes was never a fun thing. After doing her best to look somewhat presentable (which was a bit difficult, considering a glass picture frame was the closest thing Angel seemed to have to a mirror), Buffy took a deep breath and padded through the apartment in search of her broody acquaintance.

He was standing in the middle of the kitchen, a mug of what she assumed to be blood in his hands. He was turned slightly away from her, but mostly he was too engrossed in his thoughts to notice her walk in. Clearing her throat a little, Buffy spoke up.

“Umm, hi.”

Angel jumped slightly at the unexpected voice, quickly whipping around to face her.

“Buffy!” he said, surprised. “Hey. I didn’t expect you to be up so soon.”

Buffy managed a small smile.

“And you are aware that it’s past noon right?”

Angel looked up at the clock,

“Oh, well I just thought- I mean with you passing out last night…”

Buffy managed a sheepish expression, fighting to look convincing.

“Ya, sorry about that. Guess Buffy’s crazy little breakdown took more out of me than I thought.”

Angel sighed as she moved across the room, so they were avoiding now (because that always solved things of course).

Buffy turned to him, a confused look on her face. Angel looked down to see his half-empty coffeepot in her hands.

“Are you drinking coffee?” she asked, “I thought you hated this stuff.”

“I figured I might need a bit of extra energy today.” He said, hoping she would catch the hint.

(Seemingly) clueless, Buffy shrugged and poured herself a mug of the still-warm beverage.

“Giles phoned, earlier. He wants us to stop by later, he thinks he might have finally found something.”

“Great.” Buffy said shortly, taking another sip of her coffee.

The two sat in silence for several minutes, after a while they were both staring at the bottom of their empty mugs as though they were the most interesting things in the world.

Finally, unable to stand it any longer, Angel spoke up.

“Buffy?” he said quietly, she looked up at him shyly, “I think we need to talk.”

After a moment Buffy nodded slowly; at her silence Angel continued.

“About, what happened last night.”

Sighing, Buffy shrugged and let him lead her to his living room. They sat opposite each other on separate couches, and Buffy looked at him expectedly, doing her best to hide her emotions.

“I guess you might have a few questions.” Angel started, doing his best to keep his voice steady.

Buffy shrugged.

“Not really, I mean it’s not like you- I mean I was the one that…. You don’t have to say anything, I get it, really.”

Angel stared at her in surprise,

“Y- you do? I mean, I didn’t mean for that to happen, I just got caught up in the moment and…”

“No, it’s all right. I understand, you don’t… feel that way and that’s fine. It’s not a huge surprise anyway, and I’m sorry I shouldn’t have done it at all.” Buffy said, her tone all-too light to be genuine.

Angel looked to her, more than a little confused by her words.

“What? But Buffy you have nothing to apologize for, I was the one that started it… but what do you mean I don’t ‘feel that way’?”

“No, it’s just I wasn’t really expecting you to think of me like that. You’re probably more into girls like Faith or something, it’s fine I mean it’s not like you’re not the first or anything.”

“Faith? Buffy what are you talking about?”

“Well you know, she’s more experienced and is all ‘wild’ and rebellious. A lot of guys go for that, I didn’t think that you’d feel that way for me, I mean I’m just me after all and-”

Angel ended her rant as he moved forward to crouch down in front of her.

“Are you saying that you think I’m into Faith?” he asked in disbelief.

“Well, not necessarily her I mean there’s a whole colony full of older, prettier girls and I get it and it’s fine so you really don’t have to explain.” Buffy said quickly, avoiding his eyes once again.

Angel almost laughed at the absurdity of what she was saying. Carefully he put a finger under her chin, raising her eyes to meet his own.

“Buffy, I’m not interested in another girl.” At her frown of confusion, Angel took a deep breath, “I’m crazy about you.”

Buffy’s eyes widened and her mouth opened slightly, she stared at him in disbelief.

“W-what? But…. H-ho- why? I mean…. But you couldn’t have just said….. m-me?”

He gave her a small smile and nodded, his insides twisting in nervousness of her reaction.

“B-but you said…. And I thought….” She trailed off, staring at him in shock.

“I didn’t think you felt the same way, so I didn’t tell you. But I’ve fallen for you since the first moment I saw you.”

“So last night- you wanted that?” she asked shakily, mentally praising herself for forming an actual sentence.

Angel sighed,

“Like I said, I didn’t mean for it to happen- it just kind of did. I was just so afraid that I’d messed up what we had.”

“S-so you’re not freaked out and appalled by me?”

Now it was Angel’s turn to be in shock.

“What? You didn’t think-?”

Buffy looked down, embarrassment creeping across her features.

“It’s just that, warriors- female warriors, are usually taught that behaviour anything like that is kinda frowned upon.”

Again, Angel’s mind registered with shock. He figured that the council was strict, but he never would have imagined that they would implement such old beliefs. Nor that they would affect Buffy, of all people.

“I- no! I mean….” At a loss for words, Angel made a mental note to come back to that subject. “So, how do you feel about this…us?”

“I’d really like there to be an us. If that’s what you mean.” She said smiling.

Angel grinned, going his best to ignore his shock and focusing on her, his expression becoming momentarily serious.

“Buffy, I don’t know what exactly the council told you about what men like and don’t like. And we’ll take this only as fast- or slow as you’re comfortable with. But what happened last night? Believe me when I say I really didn’t mind.”

If possible, Buffy blushed even further.

“Oh.” After a minute of silence, she looked up at him again. “So, what now?”

Angel thought for a second.

“Well, we have to get to Giles’ later, and I fully intend on cooking you some kind of brunch, training is probably in order, but if it’s alright I’d really like to kiss you right now.” He said, giving her his trademark half-smile.

Buffy all but melted under his gaze, unable to stop the smile that spread across her face.

“I think that could be arranged.” She said, leaning down into a sweet kiss.

Several hours later, Buffy and Angel were walking up the driveway to Giles’. They had managed to get in a brunch (which clued Buffy into Angel’s hidden talent of cooking) and training in after all, and although they had yet to start work on Buffy’s ‘inner persona’ problem, they had managed to get in a couple good hours of hand-to-hand (which Angel had to admit, Buffy had improved on since their last match).

As they entered the library, they immediately noticed the montage of books stacked and spread out everywhere, Giles was pacing around the stacks, apparently looking for the one book they hadn’t taken out already, while (to their surprise) Tara was sitting at the centre table looking over a text.

“Well, Giles if I knew you were having a book sale I would have brought more friends.” Buffy said sarcastically, looking up at her trainer.

The British man looked briefly at her and Angel before coming down, placing a new stack of books on the table.

“Buffy, Angel, it’s good you’re here. It would seem that the texts you provided proved more helpful than I had expected.” He said, speaking to Angel, “We found some vague references to the clan that attacked you, and from that we were able to determine who exactly they were.”

“Wait, are you trying to tell me that we were attacked by a bunch of seafood?” Buffy said incredulously.

Angel smiled at her,

“Clan Buffy, not Clam. A group or tribe of… warriors?” he asked, turning to Giles.

“Yes, it seems that they were members of an ancient tribe of ‘those who remain unnamed’, they were created millions of years ago to prevent a prophesized Armageddon.”

“As in good vs. evil final battle thing? But it doesn’t make sense, why would they attack us?” Buffy asked.

Giles shrugged,

“It could be that they saw you as a threat, or that you were simply an ‘easy’ target.”

“Unfortunately no one is exactly sure what this ‘final’ thing means. It’s like they know it’s a change of some kind, and that it’s coming, but that’s about it.” Tara said, speaking up

Giles nodded.

“Yes, it would seem that no one is sure if this is a good or bad thing. It could even be as simple as the council simply changing it’s name for all we know.”

“So everyone just automatically assumes for the worst and goes into panic mode… Which is why all the demons are sneaking into the colony.” Angel finished.

“And why these warrior guys are showing up all of the sudden.” Buffy added, sighing. Sitting down, she turned to her sister. “Not that I’m complaining, but what are you doing here anyway?”

Tara smiled.

“Giles said that you might need some help, I might not be able to fight but I know a bit about magic and stuff, and I like reading so….”

Giles turned to the blonde.

“So Buffy, I’m to assume that you are feeling better?” he asked.

Buffy nodded, giving Angel a small smile.

“Ya, I’ll get through it.”

Giving the two a knowing smile, Tara quickly changed the subject.

“So, you guys in the mood for some researching?”

Buffy groaned, as Angel sat beside her and with a smile handed her a book.

“Bring it on.”

Just a few miles away, the senior members of the council sat in their conference room, all dressed in black suits, as they argued back and forth.

“She is a risk to the council.” One said

“But you saw the reports, she is beginning to come into it already.”

“This one has been trained her almost her whole life though, she has a distinct advantage on the others.”

“One we could use.” Another agreed. “Especially with what is coming.”

“But you know what will happen-”

“We wouldn’t be able to-”

“Silence!” a strong voice yelled, catching the undivided attention of everyone else in the room. They all turned to their leader; there was a moment of silence before Travers spoke again. “This one, despite her upbringing is no different from the others. We will proceed as we always have and continue to boost the training on the warriors. We all learned over a century ago how much of a risk it is to go against what’s been done, we can’t risk the same mistake twice.”

Nodding, the men agreed and silently filed out of the room, leaving only Travers and Garrison behind.

“Are you positive about this sir?” Garrison asked, knowing his colleague’s apprehensions about what’s coming.

“It changes nothing Richard.” He replied simply.

Neither noticed the pair of piercing blue eyes watching them from the darkness, twisting the golden band on his finger. Things were about to get a whole lot more complicated.


Eighteen

Buffy took in a deep breath, trying to clear her mind as she sat Indian-style on the large mat, her eyes closed by Angel’s command.

After an hour or two of looking through a good part of Giles’ “mountain”, they had decided to head back to Angel’s place, hoping to get a break from the intense reading as well as in search of any new material Angel may have overlooked. Upon their arrival, Buffy had been pleasantly surprised by the discovery of Angel’s collection of books. He had several boxes full of different volumes, most of which she was sure Giles would have considered ‘long lost’ if he had seen them. Buffy (despite her upbringings) had never been a real book nerd, but as she gazed at Angel’s collection she couldn’t help but feel almost giddy. One thing she had always longed to know about was the unknown, only unlike most; she usually found that in history. As she spent more and more time with Angel she couldn’t help the questions that she longed to ask, she had refrained from doing so up until now, not wanting to annoy or bother him with things that really didn’t matter, but as she’d looked over the old covers, it had taken a lot for her to hold back her questions; not to beg him to re-tell the stories that no doubt lay behind them.

The two of them took a good half hour to look over the books; a lot of them were in such strange languages that Angel alone had to look at it. Mostly, Buffy just sat looking over the covers for interesting designs, or even a single word of English. She had found one book, it’s cover old with a dark pattern across it, she couldn’t read what was inside (it was again, written in some foreign language), but as she stared at the pages, she felt a strange pull towards it, as though it was trying to tell her something within the pages that she could not understand. She had mentioned the book briefly to Angel; he had scanned a few pages before shaking his head, and muttered a title briefly, telling her that it probably wouldn’t have anything on the warriors. Overall, they had managed to find a couple more books, and after some minor debating had agreed to do some training.

Which is what led them here, sitting on the floor of the gym in silence, and Buffy (unsuccessfully) trying to clear her head. Angel sat across from her, studying her features closely, while giving her soft commands ever now and then; mostly urging her to close off her mind. He sighed as he saw her features twitch, he knew that she was trying, but unfortunately the first step of clearing one’s mind was proving more difficult for her than he’d expected.

“Buffy, you have to relax, try not to think of anything, just let it all flow away.” He urged softly.

A few moments passed before Buffy let out a sigh of frustration and opened her eyes.

“Angel I can’t do this! I can’t just get rid of my thoughts, they’re my thoughts! They’re my thinking- things! I try not to think but all I can think about is thinking of not thinking!” she rambled, all but growling in annoyance.

“I know it’s not easy but you can do this Buffy, you’re just trying to hard. Relax, don’t worry about doing things right or wrong, there is no wrong way to do this.”

Buffy sighed, grudgingly admitting that he was right. She didn’t want to screw this up… mostly because of her “instructor”, but this, whatever it was, is important to her (even though she feared the outcome). Closing her eyes once again, she tried to allow her worries to flow away, subconsciously replaying Angel’s soft words ‘there is no wrong way to do this’. After several moments, she felt strange, peaceful, as thought she was lost in nothing.

Angel smiled as the dormant expression crossed her face; softly he spoke the next step, trying not to disturb her.

“Now, I want you to focus on the other side of you. Focus on the darkness you felt that night. Can you feel it?”

Buffy reluctantly nodded.

“Reach for it, call it forward, let it come to you.” He said softly

Buffy’s hands began to shake on her lap, distress crossed her features.

“I’m scared.” She whispered, trying not to allow her emotions to come through.

Carefully, Angel placed his hands in her own, squeezing them reassuringly.

“It’s alright Buffy, I’m right here, I won’t let it hurt you I promise. Okay?”

Buffy nodded, taking a deep relaxing breath.

“Now, I want you to try again, just call it, it’ll come to you on its own.”

Buffy sighed, filled with confidence, she dove inside herself once more, finding the now familiar darkness embedded in her soul. It crept forward almost hesitantly, as though daring to dart anywhere at any moment. It was like a separate being, she could hear its thoughts whispering in the back on her mind, one melding with another too quickly for her to hear. The voice started to get louder; slowly creeping closer and closer to the surface. Buffy tightened her grip on Angel’s hands ever so slightly, the reassurance that he was there the only thing keeping her going.

She silently called in forward again, willing it to follow her command. It crept closer, but still so far away.

“It’s alright Buffy,” she heard Angel say, his voice soft and reassuring, “it’s just your own doubts that are stopping it, try and clear your mind.”

Buffy tried to relax, but as her mind became more and more clear fear once again began to set in. She could feel it moving, threatening to break free at any moment. It was so big, so unknown, she might not be able to control it-

Suddenly her vision plunged into darkness; before Angel knew what had happened she lashed out with a scream, sending him flying into the far wall. He could see her eyes take on a dark glow for a moment as she looked around much like a crazed animal would. Her eyes locked with his, and he could almost hear the “click” of realization within her. She took in a deep breath and shook her head slightly, looking back at him he watched as they quickly returned to their previous form. But no sooner had the ‘normal-Buffy’ reappeared when she faltered, landing in a heap on the ground.

Despite his aching bruises, Angel quickly rushed to her side, resting her head on his lap he pulled her rebellious hair from her face, to see her eyes flickering open with a small groan, she stared at him in confusion for a moment before the realization hit and she offered a weary smile.

“Oops?” she said softly, her voice cracking from fatigue.

Angel gave her a reassuring smile,

“Don’t worry about it. I wasn’t expecting you to master it the first try. But you got it to back off faster this time, that’s good.”

Buffy shakily sat up, trying to clear her head.

“Ya I guess. I was fine but then it just took over so fast, it was like I could see everything but again someone else was driving. I saw you, and I was so worried that I’d hurt you, and it was like…. I screamed at it to back off and it did. I- I’m sorry, about…” she mumbled, referring to his already healing bruises.

“I’m fine. Trust me when I say I’ve had worse. You did great.” Standing up, he offered her his hand. “Come on, let’s get you some tea or something.”

Buffy couldn’t help the groan that escaped her lips.

“Okay that’s it, first thing tomorrow I’m getting you hot chocolate.”

Tara poured over her current book; the pages were browned from age and were written in a newer form of Latin. Thankfully she had been able to take a basic course a few years ago, and although she wouldn’t be able to translate the pages as Giles could, she could get the main idea of the text. Although it wasn’t the biggest of help, it felt good to be doing something like this, being a part of something for once.

She for the most part had a great life, she loved the kids she taught as though they were her own and she was grateful for Giles letting her stay with him. He had raised her like a daughter, and she couldn’t help but feel like he was her father more than any blood-relative. But as she had grown up, she couldn’t help but envy Buffy at times, at one point she and Giles were training everyday, and although Giles had included her as best he could (especially in any kind of academic training), she had at times felt a bit like an outcast, a third wheel you could say. But at the same time, she had witnessed first hand what being a warrior had done to her sister, and that was something that she would never wish upon herself.

She couldn’t help the smile that crossed her face at the thought of Buffy; she had changed dramatically over the last while, ever since Angel came along. It was like night and day, and she was overjoyed at the sunny disposition that had returned to her sister’s face after all these years.

In her early days, Buffy had always been energetic and full of life. She as a child was always comfortable in large crowds and so friendly she treated most people like family. But more so than anything, Buffy had always been curious about anything and everything in life, she would bound up the stairs to Tara’s room almost every morning, jumping excitedly at the small fact she had been told. She would always be asking questions to anyone who would listen, fantasized by every new thing she learned. She’d worn her heart on her sleeve, and even though she never knew her real parents, she had no doubt been the happiest and most loving girl she had ever known.

But then, just after she’d turned the small age of seven, her training had begun. At first it didn’t seem like a huge deal, Giles started to tell her about different demons and such, she had to go to classes once or twice a week, but it quickly became more and more often and soon it took up almost every waking moment of her time. She was drilled with regulations and protocols before she’d lost half her baby teeth, by the time she was ten she was pressured not only with the physical tests she was put up to once a month, but also with the almost daily quizzes she had to endure. Buffy’s personality, despite her struggles otherwise, was quickly being suppressed; her natural curiosity shunned by the berating of her teachers if she spoke up, her friendliness crushed by the strict environment she was in most of the time.

By the time she was fourteen, she was facing a major identity crisis. Torn between her natural desires and personality, and the strict warrior she was becoming, Buffy couldn’t find any sort of balance there; and as a result had ended up having a major breakdown that year. A shiver ran up Tara’s spine as she remembered the horrified look on Giles’ face as they came home from running an errand that night. Buffy was standing in the kitchen with a strange looking and bloody knife in her hand, staring at the deep gashes on her forearms entranced. Dazed, she kept whispering something about not feeling and asking why it didn’t hurt, but when Giles had tried to approach her she’d lashed out, yelling in so many unfamiliar languages at once that not even Giles could decipher their meaning. She had thrown him to the ground and ran all through the city, in the end, it had taken five men with tazers to bring her down. She was hospitalized and put in therapy for the next year and a half.

During that time, Tara had seen little to none of her sister. It was months before she could even see her, and even then it was just a quick glance through a glass window. She could count on one hand how many times she’d spoken to her before she arrived home. And when she finally did, she was, to say the least, a completely different person. She went straight back to her studies, not bothering to catch up on the section she’d missed, insisting that she’d lived in the past enough, and that it was time to move forward.

She no longer tried to make friends, or asked questions, it seemed that she had found a simple solution to her identity crisis: give in. At home there was a small change in her behaviour, when she was around Tara or Giles she’d be friendly and talkative, the last trace of her former self remaining, but even then she was distant, and her smiles seemed forced; as they never quite reached her eyes. But any other time, she was more or less a robot, focusing solely on becoming a warrior. What had been her newly formed friendship with Faith and Gunn (the only two friends she’d ever really had) turned strictly to training. She’d closed off her heart to everyone around her, the spark that she once had was long buried behind the inner walls she’d built, that seemed even greater than those that surrounded the colony. She was almost obsessed with “patrolling”, coming home almost nightly with bruises and cuts that Giles had never known of. She was convinced that all demons were against humanity, taught to kill any that crossed her path and that given the opportunity, they would do the same to you in a second.

One night Tara had been reading when Buffy had come home from patrol, she had a frightened expression on her face that she would never forget; her stake was shaking in her hand. She’d been wandering the graveyard when three vampires attacked her; the first ones she had ever seen without a thick layer of glass between them. Her voice had shook as she recalled how they had pinned her down, and how terrified she was as their features twisted into the horrifying ones of a demon. She had managed to stake one, her very first vampire, before running, not looking back until she was safely inside. That night, as she held her crying sister; promising never to speak of it again, Tara was sure that the last bit of what was her sister had been lost.

But then, not too long ago, all that had changed. As far as she knew Buffy had been out on a routine patrol, and the impact that it had been left on her was plain for all to see. Her old, bright personality seemed to have quickly surfaced, and although she had not seen much of it first hand, she could see that spark of curiosity every now and again, old habits kept her sister from asking, but Tara had no doubt that millions of questions were burning just below the surface. Some of which, she had obviously begun to ask, as Tara had noted her small inquires with Angel earlier.

Angel- now there was something that Tara doubted she would ever fully get over the shock of. After years of being cold and detached, he, a vampire no less, had managed to seemingly restore a part of Buffy that she had long deemed lost forever, as well as awaken new emotions that she knew were unfamiliar to her sister. At first hearing of him Tara admittedly had her doubts, she had been taken aback and worried by her sister’s sudden change of persona, and she could tell that Buffy had already let him into a part of her she had long since closed off to the world. She had been more than a little concerned about if he was even aware of how much he could hurt her. But after seeing them together, her doubts were quickly put to rest. Angel looked at Buffy like she was the only person in the world, although he obviously knew of her strength, he (unknowingly) would take a somewhat possessive stance when beside her; ready to protect her at any given moment. Even as Buffy asked her small questions he would answer them as best as he could without hesitation, giving her reassurances and strength when she needed it. His name seemed to fit him well, because given what Tara had seen of her sister since the two had met, he truly was a gift from god; a guardian angel sent to reignite the small spark within her that had been long since smothered with sorrow.

What had possessed her sister to aid the handsome demon in the first place was lost on her, knowing Buffy’s fear and bitterness towards vampires especially. But it would seem that her former misconceptions were forgotten, if not gone altogether, and that somehow, for some reason, she had accepted who and what he was.

Smiling, Tara looked towards Giles to see him still fumbling with his stack of texts. Shaking her head, she returned to her long-forgotten book with a smile, silently thanking whatever power had sent the tall vampire that had brought her sister back to her. Watching her go through so much pain over the years had been torture, but maybe- seeing the returned joy in her eyes and the bright smiles, it wasn’t all for nothing after all.

Buffy was in heaven. After their “successful” training session, she and Angel had made small talk for a little over an hour before he had suddenly announced he was going to make her a meal of some sort. Buffy had managed small tastes of his cooking here and there, and well, it took all she had not to jump up in down in anticipation. So she sat at the table, watching as he somehow made a meal out of what seemed to be nothing. He’d managed to buy a few foods for her earlier that week, but nothing that she ever would have thought would taste good in a meal. But if the aromas going through the air were any indication- she was truly watching the construction of a masterpiece.

She couldn’t help but smile. So much seemed to have changed over the time she’d known him, and if possible, she seemed to be loving him more and more each day. Yes, she had finally been able to admit it to herself, it scared her to put it mildly, but she had finally accepted that there were defiantly some more-than-like feelings involved. Although her thoughts were clouded with so many fears right now, being around him seemed to calm her to no end; it was like living some freaky-messed up but in the best way dream. There was still so much she wanted to ask him, why had he come to the colony? Where was he born? What was the world like before the war? But more than anything, the one question that was burning at her the most was how did he get his soul? Vampires had been the object of her fears and just plain anger for so long, but once she met Angel all her conceptions about ‘his kind’ had been thrown out the window. She may not know a whole lot about demons, but she knew enough to know that a vampire with a soul is not an everyday thing. It was something that she’d been aching to ask for a while now, but had decided to try and leave it alone, unsure of how he would react to the question.

She was pulled from her thoughts when he set down a plate and small bowl before her, she looked at it amazed and more than a little puzzled. On the larger plate was what looked to be some kind of pasta dish, and in the small bowl was a white, fluffy desert of some kind; she looked up at Angel in shock, his face held a sheepish expression.

“I was in Italy a few centuries ago, before the war, I picked up a few things here and there.”

Buffy just smiled and reached for a fork, twirling some pasta onto it before plopping it into her mouth. She couldn’t help the low moan that escaped her.

“Oh my god, Angel this is fantastic! How did you make this? I can barely make a peanut butter sandwich!”

Angel chuckled and sat down with a shrug.

“I just tried to include whatever I had. The desert is an old twist on a meringue I came up with on the spot, I don’t know how good it’ll be but I know how much you like sweets.”

Buffy smiled, resisting the urge to tear up at his thoughtfulness.

“That’s so sweet, and I’m sure it will be just as delectable as everything else you’ve made for me.”

Angel just smiled and watched her eat, glad that he could make her smile; and, although he’d never admit it, to see her eating a well balanced meal. Call him old-fashioned but he had already seemed to develop worries over her eating and sleeping habits, both signs that he knew led nowhere good. Looking to her smiling face he shook his head, he had it bad.

They both perked up at the sudden knock at his door. Shrugging, he got up and made his way across the apartment curiously, reaching for the door handle. He inwardly groaned as the short Irishman came into view, although Angel had begrudgingly admitted to himself that he’d taken a liking to the friendly (half) demon, his visits so far had always worn on his nerves more than he’d care to divulge.

“Oh, Angel, good to see you again. Sorry to drop by unannounced, but I’ve gotta talk to ya ‘bout something.” Doyle said, his tone a tad more serious than usual.

“Doyle, I’m sorry but this really isn’t the greatest time-”

“I know man, and I’m sorry, but it’ll only take a minute, cross my heart.”

Reluctantly, Angel stepped into the hall and closed the door behind him, not wanting Buffy to hear.

“It’s about the bonny lass you’ve got in there. DON’T go all growly on me now, she’s fine, but as you’ve probably realised there’s something happening here, and I hate to tell you but it’s a fair bit larger than a simple ‘inner darkness in everybody’ thing.”

Angel remained silent, urging him to continue.

“That guy you met a while back, Lindsay? He’ll be at that bar for the next three nights, sometime within that time you’ve gotta get out and talk to him. And trust me when I say not to bring the girl along with ya, this is heavy stuff you’re getting into, and I don’t want to be scaring the poor lass to death.”

“Why? What’s going on?” Angel asked; his worry peaked considerably.

“Whoa, man chill, alright? It’s okay, nothing’s gonna happen to hurt her anytime soon, but the guy knows things and it’s important that you find out what it is.”

Angel sighed, running a hand through his hair.

“Alright, I’ll see what I can do. Thanks Doyle.”

“No problem, I’ll be seeing ya soon.” He said, turning to leave.

Angel nodded and headed back inside; he took a few deep breaths before heading back to the kitchen, where Buffy stood against the counter with an empty plate on the counter and was finishing off the desert in her hand.

“This is REALLY good by the way.” She said, her voice laced with something that sounded suspiciously like a giggle. “Who was that at the door?”

“Oh, just some guy from upstairs, looking to borrow something.”

Buffy nodded and took another spoonful of the fluffy sweet, unknowingly smudging a bit just beside her mouth.

“I hate it when people do that, coming to your door to ‘borrow’ this and that, I mean it’s not like you ever get it back or anything, so really they should be saying that they want to ‘take’ something, but I guess then people probably wouldn’t give them whatever it is they were looking for in the first place and- what? Is there something on my face?” she asked, noticing his stare as well as the trademark smirk.

“There’s a little, thing, just…” he said, stepping a bit closer

“Where? Here?” Buffy asked cluelessly, missing the small spot by a mile.

“No, more….” Angel said, trying to motion where it is.

“Here?” she asked again, once again missing the spot.

Smiling, Angel reached down and wiped the small fluff from her face with a finger, holding it out to show her.

“Just there… it’s nothing, see?”

Buffy’s eyes quickly turned from playful to lustful, as she slowly bent forward and licked the said sweetness from his digit. Angel stared at the sight surprised and awash in a wave of emotions, as she looked up at him ever so innocently. Unable to resist the urge, he bent down and covered her lips with his own, pulling her close. Her hand wrapped around his neck, and her head tilted back a bit, trying to get as close to him as she could. Their arms quickly tangled up in each other as their passion grew more and more heated. Suddenly realizing what was happening, Angel quickly pulled away, taking several steps back from her, his eyes closed in defeat.

“I-I’m sorry, I can’t do this Buffy.” He stammered, unable to look at her confused and shocked face.

“What?” she asked in disbelief, wondering if she heard him right.

“This, us, I can’t do it. I just can’t.”

“Why not?” Buffy asked, too caught up in her emotions to stop herself or even care.

“It’s wrong Buffy! I might look human, I might even act human, but I’m a vampire.”

“And you don’t think I know this?”

“You don’t understand! This isn’t some ‘happily ever after’ story, this is real life. Us being together is too dangerous, too unfair to you, it goes against everything you’ve been taught your whole life.”

“Again, you don’t think I know this? That I don’t get how ‘weird’ us being together would seem? You don’t think I can tell that the danger’s there!”

“Obviously not, or else you wouldn’t be here, with me now!”

“God I can’t believe this!” she yelled, taking a deep breath. “Angel it’s not that I don’t know, I do, this is dangerous and unordinary and all that I understand that. But I don’t care, that doesn’t matter to me.”

“Doesn’t it? How can it not? I’m a demon Buffy, a bloodsucking creature of the night, and when we’re together like that…. I can’t control myself.” He almost pleaded, willing for her to understand.

“Don’t you think it’s a little late for this? For warnings like this? I know what I signed up for Angel, I’ve known since the first moment I saw you what I was in for. If you don’t want me then just say it, but if not there’s no way I’m letting you go because of what could happen.”

Angel sighed, struggling to find something to have her see reason.

“Buffy, I want you, you know that. I just… can’t let you get hurt.”

“And I won’t. You can’t hurt me Angel, it’s like… against your programming or something.” She sighed. Coming forward, she placed his hand on her heart. “You’re the only person who I’ve ever been this close to. You made your way… inside and now- you’re a part of me Angel, I care about you like- like nothing I’ve ever felt before. You have something that no one else in the world ever had… you have my heart. All of it, you’re inside there all the time. And I can’t let you go.” She sniffed, giving him a small chuckle. “Not without a fight, and I can totally kick your butt mister. You’re stuck with me now, you broke down all these walls I had up, and now there’s just me. You could hurt me more than anyone in this world, because you’re closer than anyone else has ever been… but I know you won’t, that you’ll keep me safe, you’re… you’re my Angel.”

Angel was taken aback by her proclamation, catching the loaded words that tugged at his heart. Never had he felt so lucky in his entire existence, what he’ll ever do to deserve her he doesn’t know, but at this moment he couldn’t let go.

Tears streamed down Buffy’s face, she knew that her words had got through to him, she just hoped he’d caught the meaning behind them, the unspoken words that she wasn’t yet brave enough to say.

Sighing, Angel pulled her against his chest, resting his head against her crown in defeat. She smiled and held him just as tight, knowing that for now, she had managed to lay his doubts to rest.

Angel looked down at her, silently having a battle over what to say.

‘Tell her you love her. It’s the perfect time just do it!’

He opened his mouth, but no matter how hard he tried he couldn’t will the words that he so desperately wanted to say. So, instead, the two stood in a comfortable silence, just happy to be by each other.

It wasn’t for a while that they finally separated, sharing a sweet kiss, they pulled apart with a smile.

“We should probably get those books to Giles.” Buffy said, nodding towards the small stack in the living room.

“Oh, here, you go grab your jacket, I’ll get the books.”

Buffy gave him a nod and moved to his room where her forgotten jacket laid. As she walked in she could hear the shrill ringing of her cell phone, rushing across the room she quickly dug it out of her jacket pocket and pressed the talk button.

“Hello?” she said, picking up her jacket, Angel entered the room with the books in one hand, silently questioning her sudden stop. “…. What? No, it’s just-…. Are you sure?…. but why I mean….. okay…. Tomorrow?… no that’s fine…. Okay… thank you….bye.”

Turning off her phone, she stared at it blankly, her face expressionless. Worried, Angel carefully took a step forward and put a hand on her face, tilting her eyes to meet his own.

“Buffy? Are you alright?” he asked, searching her face for any sign to who the caller may have been.

Nodding slowly, Buffy took a deep breath, her eyes filled with shock.

“That was the council…. They- they want me to start patrolling, to meet them tomorrow. I- I’m a warrior now- I’m on active duty.”


Nineteen

Buffy stared at the small phone in her hand, in too much shock to notice the surprised look on Angel’s face, or the slight flash of worry that quickly flickered before his eyes.

She was on duty. Something that she had been wishing and working so hard for; all these years working up to this moment, and now it was here. She’d reached her goal- what she’d always wanted.

So why did she feel so strange? Why wasn’t she bursting with joy and jumping up and down like she should be?

Before she had a chance to tackle those thoughts, Angel’s arms wrapped around her and pulled her into a friendly embrace. Snapping out of her daze, she planted a smile on her face as he pulled back and gave her a happy and somewhat proud smile.

“Whoa, that’s great Buffy, congratulations.” He said sincerely, pushing his worries to the back of his mind.

Buffy gave him a small smile.

“Thanks.” She said distractedly, still trying to brush off the strange feelings within her.

“Hey,” Angel gave her a slightly concerned look, tilting her head gently so her eyes met his own. “Are you okay?”

“What? Oh yeah, yeah I’m fine. Just really really shocked I guess. Gonna take a while to sink in.” she said, smiling a bit more.

Angel could tell as he looked into her eyes that she wasn’t completely honest, that something was obviously off with her, but deciding that she’d tell him if or when she was ready, he let it go, nodding slightly.

“That’s understandable… any idea why they want to meet with you tomorrow?” he asked, as smoothly as he could.

“Oh, well I guess just to go over the rules and stuff. What my responsibilities are and that. It’ll probably just be with a senior warrior or something as per usual, which is a bit disappointing since I’d love to see Garrison’s face, but it’s fine. Shouldn’t take all that long. I’m gonna try and get my bike back when I’m there too, the ‘punishment’ is technically over so it’s only fair that I get it back right?”

Angel nodded, smirking at his memory of the loud vehicle from the night they met. Mostly because of his old-fashioned lifestyle, he’d never been a big fan of motorized vehicles (with the exception of a little red sports car back in the 1980’s, which he’s sworn never to speak of again) but it was obvious that Buffy had taken a great liking to them, which given her complex and unpredictable personality didn’t really surprise him all that much.

Buffy, finally recalling why she’d come in here in the first place, quickly moved to pick up her phone and jacket once again. Angel, following suit; gathered the now forgotten books and moved towards the front entrance, his blonde companion trailing not too far behind.

Their walk across town was pleasantly uneventful; neither of the two spoke much at all (well, Buffy was oddly quiet and so really the only difference was that Angel had no one to listen to). Angel snuck a few side-glances at the blonde warrior before him, worried about her sudden change in demeanour. His initial reaction to her being put on duty was suspicious, given the council’s attitude towards her in the past, he all-too surprised by their abrupt ‘change of heart’. Silently he hoped that his visit with Lindsay might help to clear things up a bit, perhaps someone who used to work for the council might have some idea of what they’re doing.

Buffy, on the other hand, was too far in thought to notice his glances, or much else around her. The shock had started to die off, and as a result although she was happy about her ‘promotion’, with it came some very real worries that shook her to her very core.

After her “breakdown” all those years ago, she’d spent months trying to regain some sense of balance within herself, as well as clarity over what happened that night. She could remember it, with vibrant detail and surround sound in fact, and although she understood why she had felt that way and what had led up to it, what she’d done that night was all an emotional daze for her; something that she’d never been able to completely work out. As for her “inner balance”, she had done what she’d been told would get her out faster, and what she knew would more or less “fix” her problems enough for her to have a normal life again- she gave in. She let who she was move to the most guarded parts of her heart and decided on a main goal, one that she would do anything and everything to achieve, the reason she got up every morning- the goal that made her keep going day by day. And now, all these years later, she’d achieved it.

It was here, over with, done. A part of her was thrilled that she’d finally been accepted to do the job she knew she could handle, but a greater part of her was not only scared… she was downright terrified. Her main focus all those years had been this- the thing that she had devoted everything to after her breakdown. It seemed like it was the only real thing she’d had to hold on to, the thing that had allowed her to be the person she was for the past five and a half years. And now it was gone. She no longer had that to work for and she couldn’t help but wonder what she was going to do now; what she had to strive for. And most importantly, what did this mean for her as a person? Now that that ‘brace’ was gone, what was really stopping her from going back to the way she was? True, she had noticed a significant change in herself since she’d met Angel; he seemed to slip through all the walls that had been guarding that part of her, and maybe because of that she felt at ease with him, like the Buffy-ish her just fell right into place again. But even then, when it came down to it she was more than capable of slipping back into her old attitude (some of which had unknowingly come out when she’d first introduced Angel to Lindsay), and now- with what she’d thought ‘held it’ there gone, what was to keep her from going all emotionally-wacko again? Or worse, a repeat of the night that often went unspoken between her family and friends.

Sighing, she shook her head, a small voice inside her laughed while another part of her mentally kicked herself.

/This is what you get for not dealing with it then. /

Buffy suppressed a groan, unresolved issues- one thing that no matter how hard you try, always seem to come back and bite you in the ass.

Sighing, she looked up at Angel, finally noticing his eyes on her.

“What?” she asked, finally snapping out of her reverie.

Angel shrugged,

“I was just wondering if we were actually going to Giles’ tonight, or if you’ve walked by it three times for any particular reason.”

Buffy looked around and sure enough, they were a few yards past Giles’ driveway, and judging by the time, a good twenty minutes later than they should be. A blush quickly crept across her features.

“Oh my god, sorry, kinda zoned out again.” She offered weakly, turning towards the large building.

“Not a problem, although if you were to tell me what’s bothering you we might be able to avoid this on our way home.” He teased, only half-joking.

Buffy offered him a reassuring smile.

“It’s nothing. See?” she said, twirling around slightly. “I’m fine, just a little dreamy; no big.”

Angel raised an eyebrow, giving her that “and-you-honestly-expect-me-to-buy-that?” look. She merely rolled her eyes and walked inside the familiar home, hoping that he’d forget about it for a while. Knowing that the subject had officially been “dropped” and that it was pointless to continue with it for now, Angel shook his head and followed her inside and to the library, hearing what sounded like a stack of books drop as he walked into the large room.

Sure enough, there was Giles; a shocked look on his face and a pile of books now by his feet, he stared at Buffy; seemingly frozen to the spot. Tara quickly came through the doorway of Giles’ office, obviously in search of the crash and not having heard whatever had just happened.

“Sorry, but, what did you say?” Giles chocked out, staring at Buffy as though she’d grown a second head.

“The council just called- they’re putting me on duty, like active duty.” Buffy said, amused by her trainer’s unfathomable expression.

“Wha-? A- are you sure that you heard them right?”

Angel chose that moment to speak up,

“They phoned this afternoon, I was there. She’s right.”

Giles blinked a few times before all but falling into the nearest chair, muttering a “Dear lord” under his breath.

“Dear lord? As in bad dear lord?” Buffy asked, a worried expression crossing her features.

“No, no of course not Buffy, that’s wonderful, congratulations.” Giles said, giving her a fatherly smile. “Just give me a moment for my heart to start beating again.”

Buffy smiled. Tara stepped forward, embracing her sister in a hug.

“That’s really great Buffy! I’m happy for you, you’ve earned this a zillion times over!” she said with a smile.

“Thanks.” Buffy said, blushing slightly at her sister’s whole-hearted congrats.

“Here,” Angel said, handing his small stack of books to Giles. “We found these at my apartment, there might still be a few more I haven’t checked them all, but for now…”

Giles looked up at him in surprise, gratefully taking the offered volumes.

“Yes, well thank you these should shed some light… my god, is this what I think it is?”

Angel shrugged, taking a seat by the large stack of books that again, seemed to have accumulated from nowhere.

“Angel some of these texts, they must be over thousands of years old. They were lost centuries ago.”

Again Angel shrugged,

“When I was …early after my turning I seemed to acquire a taste for rare and ancient artefacts.”

Giles nodded, being thoroughly informed of Angel’s early ‘vamped’ activities. Buffy however, who had yet to work up the guts to ask Angel about his soul, gave him a confused look.

“When you were what?” she asked, feeling as though she was missing a big piece of the puzzle.

Angel inwardly cringed, recalling their lack-of chats about his past, masking his reaction he gave her a reassuring smile.

“Don’t worry about it, I was just young.” He said, silently berating himself.

/And just after you finished trying to get convince her not to keep secrets from you. /

Buffy, knowing how uncomfortable he was talking about his past, let it go and turned her attention to the mass of books that was the library table.

“Giles, where do you get all these?” she asked, groaning slightly.

Giles tore his eyes from the ancient texts, snapping out of what Buffy referred to as his “reading daze”.

“Oh, well as you know this library is more than well stocked, and I’m afraid that given my former restrictions, I haven’t had a chance to go through it all. It seems that the more and more we look, the more volumes we uncover that may point us in the right direction.”

“May? As in all these books we’re going through might not have anything to do with any of this?”

When Giles’ didn’t object, she groaned, her head already aching enough for one day. Sighing, she sat down next to Angel, pulling her chair suspiciously close to his; she started sorting through the books for one in what only Giles could reasonably call English.

For a few hours the small group rummaged through the mountain of books, doing their best to scan through the pages and keep the finished books separate from those that they still had to read. Not much had been spoken, each too engrossed in their current volume to worry about making small talk. They’d silently formed a kind of order; Tara would go through the Latin books as best she could, while Giles took care of those in the foreign human languages he knew as well as a couple demon tongues he had a scant understanding of. Angel took care of the demon languages, as well as any Gaelic or ancient ones they’d come across; leaving Buffy to try and sort through the many English books at their disposal. Or what was called English, it had far too many cryptic and big old words that she could never understand for her liking.

They had migrated somewhat through the night, unknowingly placing their chair that much further from its original spot. Giles was sitting with a pot of strong black (hours old) coffee at the far end of the table, Tara sat close by, needing assistance with the occasional word here and there. Books were askew across the floor, counters, tables, chairs, etc… everyone seeming to have their own “system” for filing. Tara, who had finally finished a large Latin volume on ancient civilizations (which, although somewhat interesting, hadn’t included anything helpful), yawned, taking a sip of Giles’ coffee, she took the short break to look around; smiling at the sight that greeted her. Silently, she nudged Giles, nodding towards their two companions when he looked up at her questioningly.

The two were sitting at the other end of the table, both pouring over their own volumes. Both their chairs had migrated over the last few hours though; now Angel was sitting at a strange, sideways angle with his legs stretched out in front of him, allowing Buffy to move her chair against his, leaning against his chest in weariness, her feet propped up on the table; making her seem like she was more laying down than sitting. Her eyes fell shut momentarily before she quickly darted them open again, obviously fighting off sleep as best she could. Angel had an arm wrapped comfortably around her shoulders, mindlessly toying with her long blonde locks as he was engrossed in a volume in some form of Gaelic. The two unknowingly made a beautiful (and sinfully cute) picture in their position, it was both surreal and heart warming to the trainer and sister. They were both glad that Buffy seemed to be happy again, having found someone who she was comfortable around, and who, unknown to her, cared about her a great deal. They had both figured that the two had grown close quickly, no doubt developing some form of a romantic relationship. But here it was; the living proof of what had grown between them. Knowing what they did, it was almost impossible to believe that by nature the two were enemies of one and other; each in a way, born to destroy the other at any cost. To any casual observer, it would seem quite the opposite.

Exchanging knowing smiles, Giles spoke up, noticing the time of night.

“Err, Angel, Buffy?” he asked softly, trying not to startle them

Angel looked up from his book, looking dazed for a minute before his eyes focused on Giles. Buffy, who seemed to be near slumber with her eyes closed, didn’t move from her spot, or show any sign that she heard him at all.

“I think it would be best if you- and Buffy headed home.” He said, smiling at Buffy’s state.

Angel, suddenly dazed by the time (not expecting to have stayed that long), merely nodded and looked down, as though finally realizing Buffy was there. For not the first time, he was glad that he couldn’t blush as he saw Tara and Giles’ amused smiles. Gently, he shook Buffy, suppressing a laugh as she unconsciously moved further into the crook of his arm.

“Buffy.” He said softly, shaking her a bit harder.

She snapped out of it with a start, her eyes searching wildly out of confusion.

“I’m here, just…. Reading?” she finished, remembering where and why she was here with a disbelieving groan.

Yawning, she sat up giving Giles an inquiring look.

“So, is there a reason you woke me up or are you just being mean?” she mumbled.

“It’s late, we have to go.” Angel said, placing his book back on the table.

“Yes, it would be best if you got some sleep as well, I can’t imagine you being very lively for your meeting otherwise.” Giles added.

Buffy nodded and got up; despite the pain it caused her stiff muscles. Looking at the clock, she was relieved to find that they still had several hours before the sun would be up (mostly because it rose so late nowadays), this way she and Angel wouldn’t have to rush, and he could get in some whatever he did before he’s trapped inside.

Quickly muttering their goodbyes, the pair left silently, walking hand in hand down the dark streets of the colony. It wasn’t long before they were in front of a familiar metal door, Buffy turned to her companion.

“Thanks for walking me home.” She said with a slight smile, silently wishing he didn’t have to go.

He smiled.

“I’ll see you later?”

“Yeah, sounds good.”

“Goodnight.” Angel said, before planting a soft, sweet kiss on her lips.

Smiling, he pulled back and moved down the hall, and for the second time she found herself staring at the now empty space with an unsaid goodbye. Sighing, she moved into her apartment, suppressing a growl. Angel was wonderful, caring, smart, strong; but thank the gods he was that good a kisser because sometimes he was damn well the most frustrating man she’d ever met.

Angel, however, stayed in the shadows until she was inside, before quickly slipping out of the complex. Looking to the skies, and thankful that Giles had asked them to leave when he did, the tall vampire took off not towards his apartment, but in the opposite direction- a direction that would hopefully, lead him to some answers.

The small bar was busier than it had been before, but even as Angel stepped in he immediately noted how little it differed from before. There were a few demons sitting at a table close to the exit, obviously wary of uninvited guests. At the bar, however, were what looked like several groups of what Angel immediately recognized as vampires and demons, all in their seemingly human forms. He wouldn’t say that the place was “packed” but without a doubt oddly busy. Looking around, he noticed that the table in the far, dark corner was once again occupied; there was one familiar face, given the vibe Angel got from him obviously Lindsay, with someone else who was too cloaked by the shadows to see.

Stepping to the bar, he quietly ordered a drink to blend in better; after taking a few sips he casually made his way towards the corner table, the whispers of the mystery man immediately stopping as he approached. Immediately aware of whom he was, Lindsay stood up, obviously expecting him.

“Angel, good to see you again.” He said, although his voice was still slightly guarded.

Angel nodded, and stepped closer, barely masking his surprise as the other man’s face came into view.

“You too…” he paused, turning to the other man, “the both of you.”

The familiar British man turned to Lindsay, as though asking if he knew who and what Angel was.

“Don’t worry, we made an appointment.” Lindsay said, sensing the man’s worries.

Wesley nodded, his visage surprisingly different from last Angel saw of him. Physically he looked the same, but his eyes had taken on a slightly darker, more dangerous edge.

“Yes, we will continue this at a later date. If you’ll excuse me.” Wes said, nodding goodbye to them both before standing and leaving the bar.

“Take a seat my friend.” Lindsay said, motioning to the chair across from his own as he sat down.

Angel followed suit, carefully looking around the bar.

“Oh, don’t worry; they’re too busy worrying to listen in tonight.”

Angel looked at the many demons curiously, noticing in particular a bleach-blonde male standing with his arm protectively over a small brunette girl’s shoulders.

“What are they?” he asked warily, still uneasy about discussing Buffy in public.

“Rebels. Demons mostly, but a few humans- and half humans. They’ve been hiding out for years, but with the council kicking up their patrols it’s getting harder and harder for them to survive. They meet here every now and then, trying to figure out some sort of plan. Wes and Doyle have both been trying to help ‘em out. That guy,” he said, motioning to the blonde, “Is one of the leaders I guess you could say. He’s not in charge or anything but he’s their strongest fighter- a vampire, you’ve probably heard of him; Spike?”

“William the Bloody.” Angel murmured, recognizing the name from over the years. He and William had met not long after he was turned, helped each other out in Italy a while back.

“That’s the one. Not so bloody anymore though, had a change of heart a century or two ago after he found out that his sister- actual sister had been turned not long after he had. Took her under his wing, all he’s care about is protecting her ever since. He’s a good man, got all that honour and loyalty crap, but really just wants this over as much of the rest of us.”

Angel nodded, looking towards the frail, somewhat nerdy brunette again, realizing that she must be the sister he’d spoke of.

“What about Wes, since when is he playing on our side?”

Lindsay shrugged,

“Not long, switched over a few weeks back, guess I have you to thank for that one.” At Angel’s curious glance, he continued, “Apparently when he saw you all down and crazy over your girl and it touched him, made him rethink a few things. A couple days later he tracked down Doyle, asked him how he could get in on the action.”

Angel didn’t respond, just took another slug of the liquor, although a part of him was glad he’d made an impact like that; he was still a little disturbed by it all, not used to being around people whatsoever, never mind changing their life’s path.

“But you’re not here for the crowd, you’re here because you’re worried about a little blonde that we all know and love.” Angel growled slightly. “Some of us more than others.”

“What do you know?” Angel asked, getting annoyed by the man’s attitude.

“Buffy, she’s a fighter, has a lot of power. Way more than us, but she’s not aware of it, her dark side isn’t a physical part of her yet, not like you and me.”

“And what exactly are you?” Angel retorted.

Lindsay sighed, silently ordering another beer with a wave.

“You know,” he started, nodding to the bartender as he handed him a tall glass. “That right there is a long story I really wasn’t going to tell you at first, but then I found out about you, and I thought that considering how much we have in common, I might have to.”

Angel raised an eyebrow, awaiting an explanation.

“You see Angel, a few years back, I was one of the key players in the council, top of the act, rising higher and higher everyday. I didn’t give a damn about ‘the mission’ or whatever the hell the line was they fed us all back then, I was in it for the power, and at the time, they could give it to me. But then, one bright and sunny day, I met a demon. He was dying, said that he could give me more power than I could have ever imagined, and so, of course I took it. I merged myself with him just as he passed away, had all his power and aspects transferred into me, making me… half- demon I guess you could say. And as a result, I suddenly had the best of both worlds, power from both sides; the demons and the council. It lasted over a year, was about to be Quentin’s second hand man but then Garrison ordered some idiots to follow me, and not too long after, the council had resigned my commission and started sending their most elite ‘disposal force’ after me.”

Taking a deep breath, he held up his hand, showing off his golden band on his finger.

“This ring, it keeps me cloaked from any magical or technological detection. It’s the reason that the council hasn’t been able to find me, but you? You don’t have this luxury, nah you have something a hell of a lot better.”

“Buffy?” Angel asked hesitantly, after a moment’s silence.

“Wow look at the new guy, got it in one. You see, the one thing about being me is that you learn things, you know stuff before the person who told you really has a comprehension of it and that gives me the upper hand. Or, in this case, both of us. See Angel, the council, like every other person on this earth is afraid. I mean ya, they go on with all this ‘ending the war’ crap but really none of it matters, the truth is they want this war to keep going, if it weren’t for them it would probably be over by now. And that right there is something you’re going to keep in mind for a while now, because it plays a key part in what I’m about to tell you.”

Lindsay paused, taking another slug of beer.

“They tell you why you’re here?” he asked, turning to the vampire once again.

“No.” Angel said plainly, not knowing why that mattered.

Lindsay laughed.

“Nah, they wouldn’t have told a guy like you. Too much danger. And that’s really all this is about, danger- control- and power. You and I have something in common Angel, we have power over them. And I’m not talking about the demon I mean the kind they fear most- we have knowledge. I know pretty much everything anyone knows about this war, and you my friend know something too.”

“And what’s that?”

Lindsay shrugged.

“Well to be honest I was kinda hoping you’d tell me. You’re old Angel, ancient really. But for hundreds of years you were a bystander, you didn’t participate in what was going on and because of that you saw things- details, and you remember them. The council hides a lot of things, one, obviously has something to do with this war. Their goal is to stay in power, and they’ll do anything to reach it. They fear what they don’t understand, and when they’re afraid of something they’ll do one of two things: kill it, or try and control it. And that is why you’re here. Somewhere inside you, whether you know about it or not, you have some knowledge that they see as a threat. I don’t know a lot about what this big secret is, I discovered it just before I was fired, and I’ve been looking ever since. It happened a long time ago, when this war started and I donno whatever the hell it was but you were there for it and it changed the face of the world. And now they’re terrified that the secret’s gonna come out, which is probably the reason that they brought you here- to try and control you, keep you from saying anything.”

Angel sighed,

“I still don’t get it, what does any of this have to do with me? Of Buffy for that matter?”

Lindsay smiled.

“I met Buffy about five years ago, when she was hospitalized for what the council liked to call a mental breakdown. I don’t know the details but at the time I was assigned to her, to make sure that she caught up on her basic attack training. Naturally I looked into her case and found something that peaked my interest. She took down three teams worth of warriors and six civilians, it took five men with tazers to finally get her down- she was fourteen at the time.”

Angel sat up straighter as he heard this, more than a little disbelieving.

“As I trained with her I figured out quickly that she was guarded when it came to the accident, whenever it was brought up, there was a dark glow in her eye that I don’t think she was even aware of. I trained her like I had to and told her how she could get out fast, did my job quick and painless, but after that I made sure to keep in touch with her trainer; if power like that ever came out again I wanted to know about it. Which is why I was less than surprised when I found out about the demon attack she ‘saved’ you from. But you know,” Lindsay smirked. “This is all just pointless blab, not what you’re here to know.”

Angel barely suppressed the growl that erupted from him, it was nearing sunrise and he was in no mood for games.

“A few weeks ago I managed to steal some visions from one of the council’s prophets. The messages were kinda scrambled but I got the main gist of it. The council’s big secret- it’s the answer to whatever’s coming, not only that, but it has something to do with Buffy. What or how exactly I donno, but these changes that she’s going through obviously play a big part here. That secret could be the beginning or end of the world, and given what I know about the council, somewhere; deep down in that soul of yours, you have the key to it. You need to research, look through anything and everything that might be relevant, do some ‘soul searching’ or whatever just get it done and get it done fast.”

“And why the hell would I do what you say?” Angel asked, his tone challenging.

Lindsay gave him a hard look.

“I uncovered something else when I robbed the prophet’s mind; when the time comes, when this end of whatever crap finally comes to a peak? Your ass is gonna be on the line, and in the end, Buffy will be the one to fall. You doing ‘what the hell I say’ might be the only chance she has, ‘cause if we can’t figure this out? Buffy is dead.”

With that, Lindsay got up and left the table, leaving a shocked Angel behind.

His mind seemed to freeze up as the words reached his ears, his mouth hanging open slightly. Buffy dead… the very thought sent chills down her spine, fear quickly overtook him. His blonde beauty, full of so much life, lying dead on the ground, the mental images the words evoked were enough to make him sick.

Dazed, he somehow made his way out of the bar and across town, arriving at his apartment minutes before the sun would be up. Not bothering to get undressed, he made his way to his bedroom and sat on the edge of his bed, carefully running his hands over the silk sheets that she’d been on just few hours ago. This wasn’t just dealing with an Armageddon anymore; it was something much deeper than that, something that stuck him hard. If he couldn’t figure this out, if he couldn’t do something right here, right now, not only could the world be changed dramatically, but Buffy would die. She would die and it would all be because he couldn’t figure out the one thing that could help her; he would have killed the small blonde that he’d silently sworn to protect. The meaning of the words finally sinking in, Angel collapsed on his bed and did something that he hadn’t done in as long as he could remember… he cried.


Twenty

Buffy yawned, running a finger through her tangled locks as she padded across her apartment. Arriving in her kitchen, she carefully put on her coffeepot and waited as her caffeinated beverage was made one drop at a time. It was the downside to good coffee in the morning; she always had to wait those extra minutes for the richness that woke her up. Minutes later, when the small red light flicked on, telling her that it was done, she gingerly poured herself a mug. Steaming coffee in hand, she moved through her apartment, really looking at it for the first time in a while. It seemed so strange; thinking that she lived here. She’d never really given much thought to her living quarters, deciding that it was small but roomy enough for her alone to live in. But now, as she looked at the near-bare walls and the few personal touches, it seemed almost… sterile. Like she was walking through a hospital instead of a living room. For perhaps the first time in a while she realized just how much her experience all those years ago changed her. Sure, she’d always been aware of the changes in her demeanour, her attitude and such, but here was the physical evidence sitting right in front of her. Like so many people around her; she had never let herself really get used to this place, let herself warm up to it and really make it a home. Instead, she had only done enough to please those who visited into thinking she was ‘normal’. That she had merely been to busy to fully adjust to it all yet, that in time she was fully planning on decorating the bare walls.

Looking down, she spotted a single red rose sitting in a glass vase on the coffee table- the small indulgence that she had allowed herself last week, even though she was still unsure of what had possessed her to buy one, she was glad that she had. Although the edges were beginning to brown slightly, the chemicals that they had grown with ensured that they lasted long; since the colony only had a single shop in which flowers were grown. It was perhaps the most personal thing she had out on display- the only sign that anyone actually lived here. Smiling slightly, she bent down to breathe in some of its beautiful scent, she’d always loved the smell of flowers; just another secret that only those who’d known her as a small child could guess. At one time, it had been a tradition; once a week she would go down to the small flower shop and ask the lady for the prettiest flower she had, and bring it home to brighten up a room in their house just that bit more. She hadn’t done it for a long time, no longer seeing any reason to. But regardless, she had walked into that same shop last week, the old woman smiling as she recognized the now grown blonde and immediately moved to pick out a single flower for her, before Buffy had said a word. Maybe, it was one tradition that she could bring back. Something to make this small apartment seem a little more like home.

Making a mental note to worry about it later, she moved to the far end of the room where a window was covered by thick materials. Carefully she pulled back the curtains to peer outside; as usual it was bright and sunny, the early morning sun beaming down on the few people who were awake. She had barely got any sleep last night- three, maybe three and a half hours. It wasn’t a huge stretch, seeing as she usually went five hours on her own, but the loss of that extra time had left her tired and anxious, not two of the greatest things in her books. Her thoughts briefly turned to Angel, a part of her wishing he could come with her to the meeting. There was no reason to be nervous, but all this had been so unexpected that she was almost waiting for it all to be taken back somehow. Whether that was exactly what she wanted or not, she had still not decided.

Sighing, she looked up at the clock, realizing that she could probably leave in about an hour (giving herself time to dawdle along the way). Finishing off the last of her coffee, she put it in the kitchen sink before trudging to the bathroom; hoping that a shower could wake her up.

An hour and a half later, she was walking along the grey streets of the colony; a bag in one hand and a thermos filled with none other than coffee, in the other. She’d taken longer in the shower than she’d thought, forcing her to rush through everything else (ergo her still- wet hair that she’d simply left long). She figured she’d go to the meeting and then head over to Giles’, expecting that he’d be done his morning teas and such by then. The streets were only starting to get busy, a few small groups passing her by along the way. Storeowners were just now turning over their signs and opening their doors to business, while many others were probably just beginning to awake. As she neared the council’s headquarters, she noticed that only warriors seemed to be arriving; as the council themselves no doubt had apartments inside. It was something that was almost always guaranteed to be happening, warriors gong to or from at all hours. The council planned it that way; it was like a security measure that ensured no one would try anything. One that undoubtedly worked quite well.

Arriving at the front entrance she noticed a tall woman dressed in warrior/army gear waiting, Buffy mentally sighed in relief that she wouldn’t have to put up with a whole team again. Nodding to her, the woman wordlessly headed inside, signalling for Buffy to follow her. They walked through the halls until they finally reached a small room, inside were three metal chairs and a front desk, a sharply dressed male sorting through files. Her guide leaving her at the door, Buffy stepped inside cautiously, clearing her throat lightly as she neared the desk. The man looked up at her quickly, obviously expecting her arrival.

“Miss Summers, please have a seat, the council will be with you in a moment.” He said curtly, motioning to one of the chairs.

Buffy’s eyes widened at his words, she gave him a worried look.

“C-council? You mean as in a warrior right?”

The man raised an eyebrow.

“Mr. Travers and the other members of the council are booked to see you momentarily. Now if you would please sit down, they will call when they’re ready for you.”

Nodding, Buffy reluctantly sat down; her legs suddenly feeling a lot wobblier than before. The council, the whole council wanted to see her? A warrior she could have dealt with, maybe even two- or a whole team, but the entire board of individuals that practically ran all the colonies and human forces across the world, who would no doubt judge and scrutinize her every move? Fear and nervousness ran through her veins, as little she knew about what happened to Gunn and Faith, she knew that this wasn’t near regular procedure. Why her? Is it because of what she’d done before? Or have they decided to transfer her somewhere else now that she was on duty? The thought virtually sent chills down her spine, this colony had been her home for so long- she had no idea of anything on the outside world. For all she knew it was all overrun by demons, or that they all spoke some strange language and locked up their warriors until it was time to fight in wee little cells! There was no way she’d be able to handle that!

She was pulled from her thoughts at a loud beeping coming from the desk. The secretary mumbled something before pressing a button that opened the double-doors at the end of the room.

“They’re ready for you now.” He said, eyeing her suspiciously when she didn’t move.

Reluctantly, Buffy got up from her seat and with a deep breath, walked through the doors and into a somewhat familiar, large room. It was a lot like the one she had been in before, only instead of a single desk there was a massive one on the other end of the room, around it seated about a dozen British men and one or two women; and in the centre were two familiar faces. One; Richard Garrison, who was giving her a death glare, and the other; someone who although she’d never met she instinctively knew who he was.

“Ah, Miss Summers, I’m glad you could join us, especially at such an early hour.” Quentin said, in a strangely cheery voice.

Buffy didn’t’ respond, merely nodding as she felt all their eyes digging into her as though she was a criminal or something.

“Well, I’m sure you have several questions about this; why for instance, you’re being greeted by us instead of a senior officer.” He said, ignoring her un-reply.

“I- well since you’ve brought it up.” Buffy said, trying not to focus on them all at once.

“We’ve been watching you Miss Summers, more specifically, we know all about the attack on you and the vampire not too long ago.”

Buffy, both shocked and angered by their regards to Angel, tried to keep the sharp edge out of her tone as she spoke.

“Oh, well I’d say I’m sorry for my outburst but considering the damage they did to Angel and I, I really think it was necessary.”

She briefly noticed Garrison’s teeth clench, however Mr. Travers gave her a strange and unexpected smile.

“Yes, well, despite what you may think, we’re not here to punish you- quite the contrary in fact.” At Buffy’s obviously confused look, he continued, “You displayed a great amount of power there Miss Summers, one that up until now we didn’t know you had. It forced us to re-think a few of our previous decisions, which is why you’re standing here now.”

“So… okaaay.” Buffy said, still not understanding what he meant.

“You have power Miss Summers, something that we could use on our side. So, after much consideration, we’ve, as you know, decided to put you on active duty. As a warrior you will be required to patrol nightly and report back any odd occurrences to your trainer. Before you leave you will be given tools such as tazer rifle, communicator, restraints; all the typical equipment. You will be free to go wherever, whenever you please, and are authorized to enter any civilian homes or businesses if you suspect them of anything- with the exception of any government facilities, such as these headquarters; you will need to make an appointment for everywhere but the armoury, training facilities, and libraries; although you must sign out any weapons. If any ‘immediate’ need arises you are to report it to Mr. Garrison.”

Buffy took a moment, trying to let everything sink in.

“What about other warriors? Do I communicate them for help? Or do I have a team or something? And what about bringing… others on patrol with me?”

“That’s another thing we need to tell you, we’ve decided to place you on an upper level of duty. Those who you’ve been training with are now under your command. That includes Mr. Gunn and Ms. Lehane. You are not required to have any team; you will be working on your own. You will not report to or take orders from anyone but us and your trainer. Although we trust you to act responsibly with this, if we order you to do something you will do it, as you are still under our command. As for whom I assume you’re referring to as the vampire, I will advise you to do routine patrols on your own, however what you choose to do is entirely up to you. We will alert you to any specific threats that need looking into if and when they arise, as for what you need to know now, there is a report for you waiting outside.”

Buffy had to resist the urge to faint, too shocked to really form a coherent though.

“I… well- thank you?”

Travers shook his head.

“There is no need to thank us Miss Summers, this is strictly what needs to be done. You have power- we need it, it’s as simple as that. As I said, there is a detailed report outside of your duties, restrictions, and some classified information that you will need to be aware of. Other than that, I believe that we are finished here.” He said, rising out of his seat.

Buffy, still surprised, nodded and began to walk towards the door, stopping as Quentin spoke once more.

“Oh, just one more thing.” Buffy turned, anxious to get out of there. “There is a ball next month for all the warriors, I’m sure that you remember it from when you were young. You will receive a written invitation soon and I expect to see you there.”

Buffy had to fight to suppress a smile, remembering how much she’d enjoyed them as a young girl when Giles had taken her. Nodding, she quickly hurried out the door. Only stopping briefly to grab the thick report, she rushed out of the building and towards Giles’, desperately trying to comprehend all she’d just heard before she arrived.

Twenty minutes later, she was walking up the street to Giles’ apartment, an unread folder in hand. The streets were already crowded with the morning traffic, causing her to take an extra five minutes to navigate through the crowds.

On her way there, she’d been able to realize exactly what had just happened, and although the prospect was exciting, she was more confused and worried than anything. Why would the council go from ignoring her, to putting her on such a high level of duty? Why were they going to put her on important missions when they obviously thought she was irresponsible and irrational? So many questions went unanswered, and she couldn’t help but feel overwhelmed by it all. She knew she was ready for active duty, but given what had been going on lately and the emotional state she’d been in, she was less than confident that she was ready for this. While the prospect was thrilling, like most things that were, it was also somewhat terrifying.

Trying to push those thoughts to the back of her mind, she carefully entered the large home; deciding to creep around for a while until she found her fatherly trainer, not wanting to risk waking up Tara on her day off. Heading into the kitchen, she was surprised to find it, and the teakettle, empty. Shrugging, she put her thermos on the counter before heading across the hall, figuring that he was already up and researching. Entering the library, she was surprised to find it vacant as well. Aside from the dozens of books that were still scattered across the tables, there didn’t seem to be anything or anyone there. Suddenly catching a familiar voice, she quietly put her bag and report on the table, moving across the room to the doorway of Giles’ office.

She froze at the sight that greeted her; inside was Giles and, to her astonishment, Angel. Giles stood with a book in his hand, his glasses askew and hair ruffled, obviously having been up for several hours already (if he went to bed at all), but the thing that surprised her the most was Angel. Not only because he was here this early (with the sunny and bright weather outside), but also by his physical appearance. He was looking paler than usual, his eyes tired yet seemingly driven by some unknown passion, as he poured over a small pile of books on Giles’ desk. The two men were obviously arguing about something, both unaware of Buffy’s presence.

“… I haven’t ‘read it wrong’ Angel, it’s printed right here in front of me. And it’s not a damned bit anymore helpful than the last dozen volumes I’ve looked over!” Giles barked, obviously frustrated,

“You have to be! This books are the only place I can even think of beginning, they have to have something useful in them!” Angel snapped, not looking up from his books.

“Well then maybe you’re wrong and we’re not even looking in the right place at all! What if we’re just on some wild-goose chase, that’s designed so that we will do the man’s work for him?”

“We can’t risk it!” Angel yelled, standing up from his chair. Buffy nearly jumped at the anger in his voice, never seeing him like this before; this angry and… scared. “You KNOW what’s at stake here Giles! We can’t just give up and hope for the best! If we do then she’ll be gone and it’ll be OUR FAULT!”

There was a moment of silence, both men stared at the ground; giving Buffy the impression that she’d obviously missed something.

“Are you two okay?” she asked quietly, announcing her presence to the room.

Both of them jumped at her voice, Angel whipped around and gave her a strange look, one of guilt and pain and worry, like he never thought he’d ever see her again.

“Hey,” she said worriedly, coming towards him and placing a soft hand on his cheek. “What’s wrong?”

Angel shook his head, looking away from her for a second.

“Nothing, I’m fine.” He said, offering a poor excuse for a smile.

Sighing, Buffy turned to Giles and gave him a pleading look. The trainer, taking the hint, nodded and headed into the main library.

“Angel come on, you can tell me. Whatever it is, we can deal with it.” She said, trying to offer him reassurances to something she knew nothing about.

Angel just shook his head.

“It’s nothing. Giles and I were just researching, I thought I’d punch in early and we got talking.”

Buffy raised an eyebrow,

“That’s funny because I’ve never seen anyone talk that loudly before.”

Angel’s eyes grew wide.

“H-how long were you here?”

Buffy almost jumped at the fear in his voice, now she knew something was wrong.

“Not long, I just came in, heard voices coming from inside.” As Angel still refused to look her in the eye, Buffy carefully moved so her eyes met his own. “Angel please, you’re scaring me.”

Angel’s eyes flashed momentarily with guilt, and without another thought he pulled her against his chest, holding her to him with as much force as she could humanly handle. Reflexively, she held him just as hard, hoping that it could give him some of the relief he needed.

“I’m sorry.” He whispered, his head nestled in her shoulder. “I just had a rough night, that’s all.”

Knowing that Angel obviously wasn’t going to be talking anytime soon, she nodded against his chest and held him, deciding that his explanation would do; for now at least.

Several minutes later, Buffy pulled back, giving him a warm smile.

“You okay?” she asked, pulling a stray strand of hair from his forehead.

He gave her a sheepish look.

“Yeah. Sorry about the...”

Buffy shook her head.

“Don’t worry about it, it’s what I’m here for. Besides, it’s about time I paid you back.”

Angel offered her a small smile, taking his hand in her own; he led her outside where her trainer sat waiting.

“Are you two err…. Finished?” Giles asked, looking to Angel for an indication of just how much he’d told her.

“We’re both good.” Buffy said, not catching Angel shaking his head slightly.

“Yes well, that’s- that’s good to hear.” He said, trying his best to push the thoughts of what Angel had told him away. “So Buffy, I’m anxious to know how your meeting went.”

Pulling Angel into a chair, she reflexively (to the surprise of both men) sat on his lap, moving her attention to Giles. Angel sat stunned for a moment, before brushing it off and wrapping his arms around her waist, giving Giles a small shrug.

“Well I got to Headquarters, just like I was supposed to, only to be greeted by none other than the entire council.”

Giles looked up to her in shock at this, silently asking if he’d heard her right.

“Yep, Garrison, Travers, and a dozen other britishy members. I was really freaked out, they were all staring at me like I was some kind of weird science experiment gone wrong.”

“Are you alright?” Giles asked, more than a little shocked by the announcement.

“Ya I’m fine, freaked but good.” At the two questioning glances she continued. “They said that they knew about what happened to Angel and me- with those Italian guys? And that’s why they decided to put me on duty. They said, and quote ‘you have power, we need it’. They kinda went on and on about me having power and how they’d decided to let me on duty, then they dropped the bombshell of all bombshells.”

“What is it?” Angel asked, worry once again coming back.

Buffy sighed,

“Well, I told you before, within the council there are ranks- usually they put new warriors on the lowest level, and they just work their way up. But, they for some reason beyond me, put me up…. Higher.”

Giles stared at her.

“How much higher?”

“Well, I don’t have a team- I work alone. I can go pretty much anywhere anytime in the colony, can get into the council’s libraries and armouries, have a huge stack of rules and stuff, can now order both Gunn and Faith around, and I don’t take orders from, and again quote, ‘anyone but them and my trainer’. In other words, other than you and like the dozen people who were in that room, no one.”

Both men stared at her in shock, their mouths agape at the realization of what she meant. Although, unlike Giles, Angel had no idea of the system they used, he could easily guess that that was high up there; higher than most people could ever hope for. His eyes widened as Lindsay’s words echoed in his mind.

/ ”Their goal is to stay in power, and they’ll do anything to reach it… we have power over them… They fear what they don’t understand, and when they’re afraid of something they’ll do one of two things: kill it, or try and control it.”/

Buffy bit her lip.

“I got this huge report, it has rules and regulations, and they said it’d also have some classified info in it… maybe I’ll be able to find something to help us out?”

Her words pulled both men from their thoughts, Giles turned to her quickly.

“Yes, well that’s definitely something worth investigating. And congratulations Buffy, I’m proud of you.”

Buffy blushed slightly, nodding.

“Thanks, I’m still kinda in awe but, you know.”

Giles nodded, turning as he heard the door to the library open, to reveal a yawning Tara in cartoon-charactered pyjamas; something that both she and Buffy shared.

“Tara, you’re awake, I’m sorry, I hope we weren’t too loud.” Buffy said, giving her sister a sympathetic look.

“Oh no, it’s fine. I got a few extra hours than usual; I’m more than well rested. Hi Angel.” She said, noticing the vampire ‘behind’ (or below) her sister.

Angel nodded; always the man of few words.

“So, what’s going on?” Tara asked, rubbing some sleep dust from her eyes.

“Oh, well it would seem that not only has Buffy been out on duty, but also one of the higher-most levels.”

Tara smiled at her sister.

“That’s great Buffy! Good for you, I want to hear all about it in a few hours when I’m awake.”

Buffy smiled back, knowing all too well how early-morning tiredness was.

“Thanks, what are you doing down here this early anyway?”

Tara shrugged.

“I was awake, figured I could get out of bed. Actually, I was hoping to con Giles into making some of his famous tea and scrambled eggs for breakfast.” -hint, hint-

Giles sighed cheerfully and stood up,

“I’d be happy to. Do either of you want anything?” he asked, briefly wondering if Angel ate food at all.

With a quick look at Angel, Buffy shook her head.

“No thanks, Angel and I’ll chill- maybe look through that nifty little novel of mine. The council should really think of doing this more compact or something.”

Giles smiled and headed to the kitchen with Tara in tow, leaving the silent couple behind them.

As they exited, Buffy let out a sigh, leaning her head against Angel’s shoulder.

“How are you doing?” he asked, noticing her slightly off look.

Buffy shrugged,

“I’m okay I suppose. It’s just; this is all happening so fast- and so much. I mean, I knew I was ready to be on duty; patrol and maybe train a bit more, but this… I honestly don’t know if I’m ready or not. If I’m just going to somehow mess this up or if I’ll be able to handle it at all…” she trailed off, giving Angel a worried look.

Angel pulled her closer, giving her a reassuring hug.

“Don’t worry, I’m sure you won’t mess it up, and you’re not alone in this. If you want to do more training we can, and we aren’t even positive what it is you have to do yet. So, we’ll figure that out and then deal with it. But no matter what you’re not going to do this alone, you’ve got Giles and Tara, and me.”

Buffy offered him a small smile.

“Thank you… do you think…. Do you think that you could maybe come on patrols with me? I mean I’ll have to do them regularly now, and to be honest that kinda freaks me out a bit.”

Angel nodded,

“Of course, if you want we can head out after sundown tonight, it can be our training for the day.”

“That sounds great.”

Angel moved forward and gave her a long but soft kiss, finally pulling back with a smile.

“And congratulations. I’m sure you’ll be great.”

Buffy smiled, reaching over to pull out her thick bundle of ‘report’. Handing it to him, she gave him her best puppy dog-eyes.

“Read to me?” she asked, knowing that in his voice she might actually pay attention to the words.

Rolling his eyes dramatically, Angel took the stack and opened it to page one and began to read.

“Section 1.1- Basic Rules and Regulations…”


Twenty-One

A late day haze had settled over the colony- the sun just beginning to set for the day. Colonists scrambled throughout the streets, all doing their best to get home before dark. Over the years they had been assured that the colony was safe, but ever since the war had started it’d become an almost basic instinct to stay inside after dark; always wary of those that lurked in the shadows. Other than warriors and the odd group of teenagers here and there, very few people wandered around after dark; although their knowledge of demons was less than adequate, the night always made everything so much more terrifying. The fact that something could be a mere step behind you and you couldn’t see it, making most people uneasy.

When the war had started so long ago, it had been a wake up call for the world. No longer could anyone hide from the truth; or just forget that supernatural things happened. No one knew how or why the conflict even started, but the blissful ignorance that they’d lived in for so long, was shattered the day that the armies of demons waged war on the humans; and their only hope were those who they’d shunned. The only forces they had were the people who’d been called “freaks” all their lives- among them was their leader; a single girl who had the strength of a thousand men. No one knew who or what she was, but she protected them, fought to ensure none of her people were killed and drove the demon forces back. At the time, she was the strongest of her kind that had ever lived; the one who had come closest to the shadows within herself. But after nearly six months of fighting; the demons forced their fiercest warriors upon her and despite her courageous efforts, she was overpowered. She died on the battlefield, along with what humanity saw as their only hope to regain their world again; she was the first. Not the first warrior to fall at the hands of darkness; but the first that humanity had ever known about, the first that had faced the horrors that were thrown upon them, and shown the world that there was a way to win.

After she fell, a good part of the kind she’d sworn to protect followed. They didn’t know what to do, frightened and confused; the world was thrown into chaos. No one was exactly sure of how many, but the human population was brutally torn away, leaving only a small fraction of their kind left. And when it became apparent that the horrors were real, and people finally began to accept their fate; they turned to the only thing they saw a chance in- the same people who had trained the only spark of hope they’d ever been shown. They were scared, and the council was once again in power.

Before long, they began to train civilians as warriors, slowly being able to fight back. Grouping everyone together in small colonies that they controlled, with promises of prevails and victory. But despite the expectations of the now- colonists, the battle didn’t end. It became less extreme in some parts of the world; California (although they had the most troops on both sides) seemed to come to a kind of standstill. But even then, they weren’t able to defeat the demons that had taken over their world and their lives. And the council tore away their last hopes; with the news that another like the girl who’d saved all their lives, would never be able to exist again. That all those who could have taken the power were killed, and as a result; that same power had died with her.

Since that day, the colonists haven’t had any trust in the conflict coming to an end. No one dared to hope anymore, it seemed that every time they did something would go wrong. To them, all chance of winning was lost- and no one would ever be able to make a difference.

Little did they know; in the middle of their main colony, sitting together at a metal table, slouching over books, were four outcasts- trying to do just that. Unlikely candidates, who weren’t trying to be heroes, but make a difference and find their place in the world.

&&&

Buffy sighed as she did her best to concentrate on the pages before her. Ever since their visit with Lindsay, she and Angel had been dragged into so many research parties that she began to wonder if there was ever going to be an end. It seemed like every time they came close to a clue it just blew up in their faces, and every time the pile of books was almost gone more would appear from the stacks. The faster they finished reading, the faster the nightmare of books would be over.

Unfortunately, demons were far from her mind at the moment. Unless of course, you count her own.

Despite Angel’s reassurances and comforting embrace (as she, like this morning, was still seated contentedly on his lap), she couldn’t help her fear and nervousness for the duty that the council had bestowed on her shoulders. After reading the ‘manual’ they gave her, she found that her restrictions were minimal, however it was enforced several times that she still must follow the council’s orders. Her duties were as she’d been told, as they were to contact her if they needed her help, and although it still surprised and frightened her, she was somewhat glad of her new level; not wanting to have to deal with Riley or any other (formerly) senior officers and their taunting. She had always kept to herself (well, over the past few years at least), and after word of her breakdown got out, they all looked at her strangely. And when she was one of the last to be put on active duty, they seemed to form into two categories; those who didn’t care about her and thought they were better than a mere “trainee”, and those who looked at her as a small child (and treated her much the same). Usually it was bearable, sometimes it hurt, most of the time though, it just pissed her off.

As for the “classified” section of the report, it did prove to help out some. It had some slight references to the types and numbers of demons that the council knows are sneaking in, as well as the suspicions they had of the “underground -demon/human- rebel society” (URS for short). Luckily, their assumptions weren’t near enough to be worried about, however Buffy agreed to take the info to Lindsay sometime soon (and as it came in); not noticing the slight change in Angel’s demeanour at the mention of the name.

Across from her, she heard Tara let out a sigh of annoyance; looking through the largely accumulated stack of books on the ground. Giving up, she looked to her surrogate father who had also turned at her near-growling.

“Giles, do you know where that comparative book on Latin and Demon cultures are? I know I saw it but not it’s just gone.” She said, frowning slightly.

Giles thought for a moment,

“Yes, I believe I saw it up in the stacks somewhere last week; after we finished shelving the finished copies. That’s all I can remember.”

“Actually,” Angel spoke up, “I think I saw that one last night. I’m not totally sure, but I could help you look if you’d like.”

Tara smiled warmly at him.

“Thanks, that’d be great… that is if it’s alright with Buffy.” She said, smirking at her sister’s unmoving position.

“What? Oh, ya sure.” She said, Angel’s slight nudge pulling her from her thoughts.

Buffy quickly stood up and allowed Angel to follow suit, giving him a sound kiss and lingering for a few extra moments to indulge in his presence. Smirking, (and looking a bit sheepish at the same time; obviously not used to “PDA”) he nodded to one of the upper levels, leading Tara up and out of sight.

Sighing, Buffy sat back down in the chair; noting how much larger it was without Angel. That was one thing she’d really noticed about him the last little while; how, while he was a tall man, he seemed to fill up the room when he entered, more with his presence than anything. It almost radiated some of his stronger traits; those that were no doubt from his long and not-so-easy existence. Confidence, passion, and some weird form of dominance were the most heavy; ones that although he was aware of carrying, he had no idea were so strong on him. It was one of the things that had pulled her to him that first time they saw one another; his confidence alone, mixed with that more dangerous and animalistic side of him was more than a little tempting. Something that had opened her up like a book, and although (to the casual observer) would seem almost opposite to his persona, were no doubt there.

Unfortunately, it also left a stubborn streak larger than Riley’s ego.

Noting that the two were finally out of earshot; Buffy looked up at her trainer, a bored and somewhat guarded expression crossing her face.

“Hey Giles?”

“Hm?” he said, looking up at her intently.

“Just out of curiosity, did you get any sleep last night?”

Giles looked confused for a second, before a smile crossed his features.

“Yes, I managed to get in a few hours. Given, they were seated in my office chair; in a rather uncomfortable position, but sleep all the same.”

Buffy laughed lightly, putting down her book for a moment.

“And so you were here, when Angel came in right?” she asked, trying to sound casual.

Giles quirked an eyebrow at her, obviously seeing through her efforts.

“Yes. And if there is something you want to ask me, please do so. I’m much to old to be beating around the bush like this.”

Buffy sighed, didn’t Angel say something similar to that not so long ago?

“It’s Angel.” She said, noticing the unsurprised look on Giles’ face. “It’s just- I know something’s up with him Giles. Something big, that’s bothering him to put it mildly, and he won’t tell me what it is. And I know if he won’t tell me now, he’s just going to dodge the subject later; and I don’t know how to even reassure him if he won’t tell me what the heck is making him so upset!”

Giles sighed, giving her a fatherly look.

“Angel is just worried right now; and even having you here, around him is going to be more than enough reassurance for the time being. You need not bother with it Buffy. But, if you really want to know something I suggest you ask him. I know you’re still hesitant about asking questions, but there is nothing wrong with that. And I’m sure that if you do, Angel will be more than happy to answer them for you, or at least provide some kind of explanation.”

Buffy nodded, knowing that Giles wasn’t about to tell her anything more on the matter.

“Speaking of which,” Giles said, his face taking on a look of seriousness, “There is something I’ve been meaning to discuss with you. And, as much as I was praying that I would never have to, it would seem time for me to stop being ‘avoidy’ as well.”

Buffy’s brow scrunched in confusion.

“What is it?”

“It seems to have become apparent that you and Angel have chosen to pursue a… romantic relationship. Now, I don’t need, nor particularly want details as to how far it has gone so far, but it’s obvious that the two of you are close- emotionally if nothing else. I want to be sure that you’re… careful in your actions with him.”

“Giles, you don’t have to worry, really. Angel’s so careful, he would never hurt me; treats me more like glass most of the time.”

Giles sighed, mentally cursing the hint Buffy didn’t pick up.

“He may not be able to get you pregnant Buffy, but sex still has significant consequences.”

Buffy’s eyes widened, her mouth forming a little “o” as her face quickly grew red.

“Oh, we- I mean we didn’t… I…it’s just I… we haven’t really talked about…”

“Well then I suggest that you do. Quite frankly, the very idea makes me uncomfortable on more levels than I care to admit; but I’m not as oblivious as you may think. I know that it happens, and I would much rather live in reality instead of some unrealistic lala land where you’re going to be my little girl for all eternity. Yes, casual sex happens; but when you’re in a relationship, and decide to give yourself to that person… it’s more a gift than anything else. I just want you to promise me that you’ll be careful; and I’m not just talking about on the physical level. And that you’ll only do as much as you’re ready for, when you’re ready for it. I have taken some liking to Angel, and it would be a shame for me to be forced to castrate him and throw him into the daylight, if you ended up hurt because of something that you weren’t ready for in the first place.”

Buffy smiled, a small tear coming to her eye. She wasn’t sure whether to be embarrassed or touched by his words, it was perhaps the most fatherly thing he’d ever done (despite how much he obviously hated the very thought of doing so).

“I promise.”

“Thank you. And… if you ever have any- questions, you may- well come to me about them and I’ll try to answer them for you.” He said, the last bit in so much of a rush, Buffy wasn’t sure if she’d heard him right.

“I’ll remember that, and thank you. For the parental-talk, I’ll definitely keep it in mind… in other words, I get it- it’s over.”

Giles let out a sigh of relief.

“Thank god.”

“That bad?”

Giles gave her a stern look.

“I would rather bathe in a pit of hot tar before doing that ever again.”

Buffy laughed and shook her head and turned back to her opened book, considering Giles’ words. It was something that hadn’t even been vaguely mentioned, well unless you count that one time, but that was before Buffy and Angel became Buffy and Angel, and it was just joking around. Her mind flashed back to Faith calling her a “virgin mary”, as much as she’d hated to admit it, that statement wasn’t far from the truth. Sex was something she’d only ever talked to Tara about, Faith had just picked up on it one day while training; calling it a sixth sense (which of course, Gunn had awoken just in time to hear). It wasn’t like she was totally ashamed of it or anything, but there was a certain embarrassment level that came along with it; the fact that she, unlike most of the people she knew her age, had yet to take that “next step” (or the couple that came before it). Her mind briefly wandered to Angel, would he be able to tell? He was three hundred years old after all, even just one woman every couple years… that’s more experience than Buffy wanted to do the math for. She couldn’t help but feel a little intimidated by the fact, a part of her wondering how on earth she would be able to “live up” to that.

Sighing, she shook her head. The thought of being with him like that, both frightened and thrilled her. She had a mess-load of insecurities and second-guesses, but underneath all that was a burning desire that she couldn’t ignore. He was, to put it mildly, attractive, and sometimes when he’d look at her with that heated gaze she couldn’t help the feelings he invoked. Especially when they were training, and he’d get all hot and shirtless and most of the time end up on top of her and even a glance would send shivers down her spine and….

She was snapped from her thoughts when Tara came back down the steps, a successful look on her face and a book under her arm, the hottie in question following close behind. When he turned to her with a smile, Buffy couldn’t help the deep blush that returned to her face, quickly standing up so he could sit down. Taking the offered seat, he pulled her down with him so she was once again seated on his lap, holding her close; he gave her a strange look when she wouldn’t meet his eyes.

“What’s wrong?” he asked, his questioning eyes finally meeting her own.

“Nothing, why?” Buffy answered, a bit too quickly.

“Mostly the part where Giles looks like he’s about to stake me, and you’ve turned a beautiful but oddly dark shade of red.”

If possible, Buffy blushed further, biting her lip slightly.

“Nothing, we were just talking.”

“About…?”

“Nothing important.”

Angel rose an eyebrow, often when someone said “nothing” three times in a row, it was obviously something; something that he could tell was bothering her in more than one way.

“Talk later.” He said quietly, before giving her a quick kiss and smilingly returned to his forgotten book.

Inwardly Buffy groaned, hoping that she would be able to put it off for the time being; but if not, she could always turn his own words against him to find out his annoyingly well-guarded secret. Smiling slightly at that, she looked to the clock and noticed it was well after dark, this day was getting better and better.

“Giles?” she called, as the trainer looked up at her expectantly, “You wouldn’t mind if Angel and I ran off on patrol would ya?”

Giles shrugged,

“Of course not. After all, it is your duty now I suppose.”

Buffy smiled, hopping out of the chair and dragging a bemused Angel along with her towards the door. She stopped slightly at Giles’ stern gaze, and the loaded words that soon followed.

“Be careful.” He said pointedly, glaring at Angel for a moment before raising an eyebrow.

Buffy flushed slightly and quickly pulled Angel through the door, muttering a quick ‘okay’ as she went. Angel’s brow scrunched in confusion; he suddenly having the odd feeling that he’d missed something.

The two walked hand in hand through the main street of the colony, their footsteps the only sound on the deserted road. They were both too engrossed in their thoughts and worries to speak; their enfolded hands acting like an anchor to each other, a reassurance that they were still there.

Between everything with the council and now Giles’ advice, Buffy couldn’t help but feel overwhelmed. Like she had gone from twenty to thirty-five in a few hours, and she had the incredible urge to run and hide until she was long forgotten to the world. Glancing at Angel, she wondered how he’d react to her and Giles’ discussion when (and if) she told him. He, bring the chivalrous man that he is, would understand Giles’ responsibility to have ‘the talk’, but as to how he’d react to it in general, and Buffy’s feelings about it, were an entirely different story. She was still trying to get used to the fact that he wanted to be with her at all, and now that sex had been thrown into the picture, it was just so far from everything she’d been taught through her training; that he may not mind her initiating stuff, and that he might want her at all… like that. Just two of the things that had been drilled into her mind; why it had affected her like that she wasn’t positive, but for so long she had concentrated solely on her studies, it would only make sense that some of the social aspects would have leaked through as well.

Angel, meanwhile, was torn between agonizing over Lindsay’s words, and trying to figure out what had happened while he and Tara were in the stacks. He and the brunette had talked briefly while searching the nearly endless shelves, making small talk mostly. She had said how “cute” he and Buffy were together, and that she was glad he had come along when he did, but when he asked why she just stopped and shrugged, saying she just was. And then coming back to see Buffy that embarrassed, and Giles looking about ready to murder him… well he and Buffy seriously needed a nice long talk. He mentally berated himself at the thought; here he was going on about her keeping things from him, when he had done the same just a few hours before.

Stopping, he turned to Buffy and stopped walking, holding her loosely by the shoulders.

“Am I the only one who feels like, I’m walking through a maze blind?” He said softly, pulling a stray strand of hair from her face.

Buffy laughed softly, shaking her head.

“I’d go more with swimming in old baggage in this case.”

Angel nodded, mentally noting the ‘baggage’ part of that.

“We should probably talk, about everything… that we both know we aren’t saying.”

“Yeah, we really should. But, you think I could con you into a kiss first? You know, before the angst-fest?”

They both smiled, neither in the mood for a heavy-duty discussion right about now. Leaning in, Angel brushed his lips against hers in a slow, soft kiss, each exploring the feel of each other for what seems the zillionth and the first time. Without thinking, Buffy quickly moved her arms around him and pulled him closer; their kiss rapidly becoming heavier, arms tangling in a fever of passion. Both had so many doubts on their minds- it was like they needed this, the reassurance that the other was there, as well as the safety of being in the others arms. Their doubts and protests were quickly washed away, neither having the will or the want to stop it.

Swooping his head down, Angel rained open-mouth kisses down her neck, gently nipping and sucking when he reached her jugular. Buffy shut her eyes tightly, unable to suppress the small moan that erupted from her. Her instincts were screaming at her to pull away, but at the same time to hold him to her and refuse to let go until the fire within her was put out. Angel gently backed her against a nearby wall, she only became slightly aware of it when her back hit the cool stone. She quickly slipped her hands under the silk of his shirt, running her palms against his strong, cool, chest. Leaning down she returned her lips to his, craving the taste of him.

Suddenly, Buffy felt Angel being thrown off her, nearly falling over at the unexpected loss of contact. Before she had a chance to react, she felt herself being thrown through the street, finding herself in a dark alleyway when she finally opened her eyes. Standing up, she barely managed to dodge her attacker as he charged towards her, another female close behind. With a quick glance to Angel, she saw that he too hand his hands full with a hefty looking guy. As the girl (vampire, as she managed to deduct), came at her again she kicked out, sending her flying into the wall. Turning, she knocked the other to the ground, scrambling to find a stake. Just as she spotted one near the mouth of the alley, one of them (the stronger of the two) grabbed her from behind, the other kicking her hard in the gut and sending her sprawling to the ground. As the other ran towards the street (and what Buffy could only hope was Angel), the other pinned her down, smirking triumphantly as she struggled fruitlessly, his weight too much for her to throw in her pained (and still semi-dazed) state. His game face in full play, he bent down and pulled her roughly to him, she cringed as she felt his sharp fangs against her neck, struggling once again in false hope. She felt the pressure increase and held her breath, knowing what was to come.

Then the vamp pulled back, letting out a howl of agony. Buffy looked up just in time to see the wooden stake plunge through his chest, before he crumbled to dust to reveal Angel, with the stake in question (and the other vamps nowhere in sight).

He reached down to help her up, but she quickly backed away, an unconscious reaction to not who, but what she saw. He was standing over her; completely vamped out, his ember eyes and fangs plain in sight, and the previously hidden ridges now uncovered. Anger was evident on his features, power and dominance rolling off him in waves. When she pulled away, a hurt and confused look crossed his eyes, it didn’t last long though; it was quickly replaced with guilt and shame as he looked away. She flashed back to her first experience with a vampire, how much rage and hate she had always held for that face, the one that revealed the demon within. It had always frightened her more than most demons, brought forth unwanted memories of grief that made her burn with anger. She had only seen Angel like this once before, and she was too dazed to really recall it (or comprehend it was even there). But now, it was so vivid; the face that she’d always resented on the man she’d grown to love.

Staring at his face as best she could in the dimmed light, she studied him. It was so different this time though, there were the demonic features, only they seemed softer somehow- more human. His ember eyes were filled with guilt and sorrow and soul; things that the cold eyes of other vampires always lacked. What she felt when she stared at him wasn’t so much anger, but love, confusion, and (despite her mind’s protests) an odd form of arousal. Not majorly so, bit it was no doubt there, the dominating power that was now evident something that the darker part of her longed for. It was a little surreal, and a lot unexpected.

Slowly standing up, she continued to stare at him, taking in what she saw. Angel refused to meet her eyes, obviously ashamed that she had to see him like this. It was the part of him that he’d done his best to keep hidden; the rest of the world could see him like this and cower in horror for all he cared, but seeing her afraid of him, it hit him harder than he liked. But no matter how hard he tried, with the chaos of emotions that seemed to wash through him after piling up for the last two days, he was unable to suppress it.

Buffy gazed at him for a few more moments, before a spark of understanding dawned within her. This wasn’t a vampire she was staring at, or a human; it was Angel, plain and simple. There was nothing more to it. This was the same man that had touched her on so many levels, who, even in his vamped state, she could still feel that small connection with running through her soul. The one that she would without question give her life for, a thousand times over if she had to.

Gingerly, she stepped closer and reached up, surprising him as she touched his brow. His eyes snapped to hers in question, perplexed by her actions. Softly and carefully, she ran her hands down his face, slowly tracing the prominent ridges and sharp teeth. Staring up at him, she felt something she hadn’t felt around a vampire before, safety and a sense of peace. Like she’d finally been able to grasp something about them that she’d been without for years. Giving him the smallest of smiles, she ran her palm down his face, watching as he closed his eyes briefly in relief, before meeting her own once again.

“Beautiful.” She murmured, her eyes becoming glossy with tears.

Angel’s own eyes teared up in disbelief, almost unable to grasp what he was hearing.

With a laugh, Buffy launched herself into his arms, holding him to her tightly as small, joyous tears ran down her cheeks. She didn’t know why or how, but somehow, for the moment at least, she felt freer than ever. Like just for now, this moment in time, nothing in the world could destroy the relief that was flowing through her. The fear that she finally had a grasp on, and might be able to get over, didn’t seem so big now. She knew her contentment would be short-lived, but for now it was one small (but at the same time giant) step forward. One that made this unbearable amount of baggage that small bit more bearable.

Angel couldn’t believe what he was seeing; he hadn’t ever dared to hope that she would accept him like this, ever. He felt so undeserving of her friendship as it is, but now, he felt more undeserving than ever.

Even so, at the same time, he could feel more relief pouring through him than he thought possible. He found himself almost enthralled in it; he didn’t notice the silent tears slowly trickling down his face, or how impossibly close he was holding her. Maybe those big steps in a relationship aren’t always as obvious as they seem. Maybe sometimes, it’s the important ones that lie buried.


Twenty-Two

It’s amazing how loud silence can be, how lack-of-words can sometimes tell you more than words themselves. Or no matter how many times you find yourself in the same, uncomfortable situation, it still makes you nervous. For what seemed like the zillionth and a half time, the two sat opposite each other in Angel’s living room, a thick silence between them. With all the relief that they’d felt an hour ago, you’d think that this talk would be so much easier. But the two seemed to be developing a pattern of sorts: one step forward, two steps back; aggravating to say the least.

They loved each other, cared for each other, would probably die for each other, but both hesitated to reveal anything about their past (or current problems). Logically, it was childish and dim-witted, but then again, since when was anything in their relationship logical? Both had questions they were burning to ask about each other, concerns that they needed reassurances for. They’d got to know each other’s current selves pretty well, but they were missing most of the puzzle- why. Why the other is like the way they are, why they were so hesitant and unsure with some things, why were they so unwilling to share that part of themselves with the other?

It’s amazing how powerful fear can be. How it can make someone so weak and put others in such power. How much hold it has over us whether we’re aware of it or not.

Buffy stared at her companion, quickly becoming frustrated with the situation at hand. Rolling her eyes, she got up and crossed the room, flopping down beside Angel and leaning her head against his shoulder. He reflexively put his arm around her, but gave her a questioning look.

“I don’t know about you, but personally the very thought of having this whole ‘talk’ scares me senseless. You, however, don’t and if we’re going to do the damned thing, we might as well be comfortable doing it.” She said, her stubbornness clearly showing.

Angel gave her a small smile, silently agreeing with her. They would no doubt move from this position before the day was over (sooner rather than later) but she was right, they might as well start off somewhat comfortable. Unconsciously he ran his hand across her bare arm, peering at the ground in search of something to say.

“What’s bothering you?” he asked, Buffy raised her brow at the question. “Today, I mean. What were you and Giles talking about?”

Buffy let out a sigh and sat up, moving slightly away from him but still within the circle of his arms.

“Well, he, Giles that is, thought that since he’s the closest thing I have to a dad, he had the responsibility to have ‘the talk’ with me.”

“The talk?” Angel asked incredulously.

“Yeah, you know the talk? The one that’s been around since the dawn of time to reassure parents and torture their offspring on so many levels?”

Angel’s eyebrow rose, clearly not getting the picture.

“The sex talk, Angel.”

His look was almost worth the embarrassment that quickly crept through her. His eyes widened, jaw dropped, and he paled a small shade (if that was even possible); taking on the distinct look of a deer caught in headlights.

“Oh.” He said, no doubt blushing if he could. “A-and, how… or w-what exactly did he… say?”

If it weren’t for her own mortification Buffy would have smiled at his almost fearful and struggling-to-be-cool look.

“He said that he wanted me to be careful, that sex has a lot of consequences; emotional if nothing else. He wanted to make sure I make sure I’m ready for it, when- or if it happens, then muttered a few things he’d do to you, that you really don’t want to hear… anyway, h-he thinks we should talk about it.” She blurted out, adding the last part in an almost whisper.

Angel nodded, absorbing her words.

“He’s probably right.”

Buffy nodded, refusing to meet his eyes.

“Buffy?” he asked gently, she hesitantly looked up at him. “It’s like I said before, we’ll only take things as fast, or as far, as you’re comfortable with, alright? I would never pressure you into doing something you aren’t ready for, or just don’t want to do. You have to understand that, if you don’t want it to happen, it won’t, I promise.”

“But, this shouldn’t all depend on me Angel, there’s two of us together here. It can’t just be up to me. I mean, if you didn’t want to it’s not like we have…” Buffy trailed off, biting her lip.

Angel looked at her in surprise, a dawn of recognition coming over him.

“You don’t think I’d want…” he cut off when she didn’t reply. “Oh god, no that’s not it at all…I want you; I want you so bad it hurts sometimes. You can’t imagine how much I just…” he sighed, trying to find the right words. “Do I want to be with you? Yes. But I can wait, that’s just the thing. I won’t lie to you Buffy, I’ve been with countless women; it’s not something I’m proud of but it’s true. But never, have I cared for any of them, or loved them, or even known them. I don’t want it to be like that with us, if or when it happens, I want it to be right. I want to know you through and through, and I want it to be at the right time when we’re both ready for it and want it to happen.”

Buffy’s face flushed at his words with shyness, lust, relief, and love. She could tell that what he was saying was the truth, she silently nodded.

“There’s something else isn’t there?” he asked, when she still looked a bit uncomfortable.

If she was red before, she was a tomato now. Buffy looked at him, her voice stuttering slightly as she spoke.

“It’s just- I mean I haven’t had a lot of boyfriends, like ever and… I just…. I haven’t exactly… done….”

Angel gave her a small smile, brushing a stray stand for her face.

“It’s okay, I know.” At her questioning look he continued. “I didn’t know 100 percent, but I was pretty sure.”

“How?”

“The way you react to me.” He said, trailing his hand along her arm. “It’s like you get goose- bumps from my touch, you’re so sensitive, respond to everything I do or say. It’s not that you aren’t like that naturally, you’re a very responsive person anyway, but this,” he said, reaching her chin and cradling her head in his hand, “this is different.”

“S-so it doesn’t make you think I’m some kind of freak?”

Angel laughed slightly,

“No, not at all. It’s a brave thing to do, people underestimate how hard it can be not to give in sometimes. Whether it’s to society’s standards or your own feelings.”

“I didn’t want it to be just sex, I wanted to save myself until I was ready. When I found someone special to be with.”

Angel smiled,

“Like I said, you’re so brave. And I think it’s great that you’re waiting, that part of you is a gift that the other person should cherish, it’s the one thing in life you can truly never get back. And it is special, more than some people realize.” He paused for a second. “And if there’s ever anything you want to talk to me about, just ask okay? I don’t want you to have to live in the dark because you’re worried about what I might say.”

“Then, there is something, that I’ve been wondering about. You don’t have to talk about it if you don’t want to, it’s not really important or anything.”

Angel nodded, urging her to continue.

“It’s your soul. I mean, you’re like the only vampire I’ve ever heard of that has one. Were you like that when you were turned, or….?”

Angel sighed, trying to think of the best way to explain it.

“No, when I was first turned, I was a soulless demon like all the others…. I-I spent a hundred years making the world my own playground; anyone whose life I even remotely touched, was lead to an ugly death and more pain than anyone can imagine. Then, one night I attacked an old gypsy clan; killed most of their people. The few that escaped hid in some nearby caves, they gathered all the supplies they had, and conjured up a punishment for me; the one they knew would hurt most.” He paused, a fog of depression creeping across his features. “When you’re turned into a vampire a demon takes over your body but you don’t have a soul, you don’t care. You don’t feel guilt, or remorse, you can kill and feel nothing but satisfaction, but when you get your soul back, you can still remember everything you did, every scream, every plea. Every last bit of pain you caused- and it hurts. Almost more than I could stand. One morning, not long after, I waited on a rooftop for the sun to come up… but it never did. I was visited by a demon named Whistler, he told me that I could ‘whine and complain all I wanted, but there’s no way I’m getting out of it that easily’. And that’s about it, I wandered for the next few centuries, distancing myself from humanity for the most part, making sure to remove any temptation I might have... It wasn’t until I came here, met you, that I even thought of doing some good.”

Buffy could only nod, trying to take in all that she’d been told. She wasn’t going to lie, a big part of what he said scared her. Him being a vampire was one thing: being one who’d slaughtered countless lives with satisfaction from the kill was another. Looking up at him, she saw the slight amount of fear mirrored in his eyes, not so much from what he’d done, but more from what she’d say. This was Angel, he wasn’t the same as the demon that had killed those people. But still, just the thought of what he was capable of was a bit unnerving.

Silently, she moved back to her former position, giving him a small hug.

“You okay?” he asked softly

“Yeah, just going to need a while to get used to it, that’s all. It’s hard for me to imagine you like that… to me you’re just Angel you know?”

He nodded, knowing how strange it would be for her. At that thought, he turned to her once again.

“Buffy… I know that there are things you probably don’t want to tell me. Both of us have secrets, we always will, but there’s something I need to know about. I feel… I wasn’t going to ask this but I need to know what happened, from you. I need to know the truth.”

Buffy, becoming fully alert, sat up straight, giving him a questioning gaze.

“What happened five years ago?”

Buffy froze, her eyes widened and her breath caught in her throat. Why that? Why not anything but that? It was the one thing about her past she’d hoped he’d never find out, the one thing that she’d never want to have to explain again.

“I- I don’t know what you mean.” She answered shakily.

Angel gave her a sad gaze, catching the look in her eyes.

“Please Buffy, no more secrets.” He whispered softly, needing desperately to understand what happened. Ever since he’d found out his mind had been swirling with possibilities, some which shook him; hard.

Buffy sighed, a small tear of frustration glistening in her eye. Replaying it in her head was one thing; but telling him, trying to explain something that she didn’t fully understand, was another. With a deep breath she looked up at him to explain.

And explain she did.

She told him what had happened that night, how she had been up in her room when she found the knife, how it had called to her, almost enthralled her towards it. How when she had slowly sliced her arm it wasn’t to kill herself; it was because she had to. It was like as soon as the first drop of blood hit the blade, she could feel, rather than see, power emanating from it; creating a strong glow that threatened to engulf her. One that she craved- needed more of. She had been so confused, like everything at the time made so much sense but still none at all. How the whole night was now such a daze; memories here and there, but a strong haze of mist hanging over it. How she’d struggled to find herself again afterwards, but no matter how hard she tried it always just became harder. She had become isolated from the world, and not even she could believe how much he had changed within her.

She didn’t tell him how many times she’d thought she was going insane, or the nights when she was too scared to open her eyes. Her training had left almost visible emotional scars within her, some that she didn’t have the will to reopen.

But it didn’t end there.

For the next ten hours or so, they talked. About their pasts, their worries, their questions that had long been unanswered. They yelled, screamed, cried, and fought; paced across the floor and clutched to each other as they sobbed. By the time they were through, they knew things that both relieved and frightened them. Things that made them laugh out, while other made them want to cry. One simple talk had turned into an emotionally draining documentary, both eventually all-too tired to carry on. Some subjects had been left untouched; Angel’s oddness and Buffy’s more shadowy memories being some. And although a part of them hated it, they knew that for tonight, they could take no more.

Sprawled out on Angel’s bed, the two laid in silent thoughts. With his arm wrapped loosely around her, Buffy stared up at the ceiling, slowly trying to process everything she had been told. Angel had refrained from sharing the darker details, but even without them his past was enough to scramble the brain. It was like him then and now were two separate people but not, like good and evil twins sharing one body or something. Her mind wandered to his victims, wondering what they’d seen when they looked at him. The same face? The same eyes that she herself had been almost enthralled by? No, that she was certain of; the face, the hands, the voice may have been the same back then, but there was no way his soulful brown orbs could have belonged to the same person. They had a constant edge of grief and guilt to them, one that although shadowed at times, was unmistakably there. It pained her sometimes to know that even now, all these years later he was brooding over it, but everyone dealt with pain in their own ways. She, of all people, could understand that.

Angel too, was lost in his thoughts. When he’d first brought up the breakdown, he’d expected some hard memories; but nothing could have prepared him for the toll it had taken on the small warrior. Lindsay had been concise; straight to the need-to-know, but Buffy had left little unsaid. He couldn’t believe how much it had affected her, and that even now, all these years later, she was still so unsure of what happened. The look in her eyes as she’d explained it was so afraid, so broken; he’d seen a part of her that he knew she’d never allowed anyone else to see. The vulnerable, scared, uncertain persona that had been suppressed for so long. His heart broke just that little bit more with every tear that had fallen, and perhaps what hurt more, was that he knew there was nothing he could do to change it. That no matter how much he wished otherwise, there wasn’t anything he could do to erase the pain that she still went through because of it all.

But that wasn’t the only thing that was worrying him. The way she’d explained it, was like she knew everything that had happened, all the emotions and thoughts that were going through her head, but the thing she was lacking is why. Why it happened, why she had done what she done, why she had been able to do as much damage as she had. It was a huge piece of the puzzle that she’d obviously been agonizing over, and now was haunting him as well. Despite how he’d brushed it off, Lindsay wouldn’t have brought up anything remotely personal about Buffy’s past in the first place, if he didn’t think it was related to the prophecy somehow. And now, hearing Buffy’s version of what had happened, he was sure that if he found that missing piece of her past; it could eventually lead to the other answers he needed.

He was torn from his thoughts as Buffy turned in his embrace, a sad smile adorning her features.

“What are you thinking?” Angel asked softly, noticing her staring at him.

“What was it like?” she asked in a small voice, giving him an oddly juvenile look.

“What?”

“The world.” She said simply, continuing at his questioning gaze. “Before the war, what was it like?”

Angel sighed and pulled her close, shaking his head.

“A lot different than it is now, but… at the same time the exact same. People lived in cities, countries, all across the world. There was separate governments and rulers, but for the most part everyone had freedom to live where they pleased; do what they wanted within reason. Only small wars, among the cultures and countries, but nothing like this. The people themselves… they were completely blind when it came to our world, most of them not even believing in supernatural stuff. But then, they were all so connected, shared ideas and thoughts from everywhere. Thinking back, I don’t know whether to say they were smarter or just plain ignorant.”

Buffy’s eyes widened, shocked by the differences she was hearing.

“What about when you were growing up? Was it different then too?”

Angel smiled slightly, his mind flashing back to a scene forever etched in his mind.

“You know, I’ve seen so many things. Some that people would give their lives just to get a glimpse at, that they’d sell their very souls to be a part of. But… my fondest memory, the one that I look back to every now and then, and it still makes me smile. One day, when I was six or seven, my father was out of town for a few days. My mother and sister were finishing up the after dinner dishes, and so I went out for a walk. Through the forests in Galway, and a few hills down, there’s a beautiful lake. I remember, I sat on the grass just by the water, my feet bare wet with dew. I just sat and stared at the it all, the water was so still, with the moonlight glistening off of it crystal-clear, the most gentle of breezes blowing across my face. No sounds, just peace. It’s the best memory of my life I’d had, I can’t remember ever being that happy since, that… at peace. Not just with myself, but everything. For that moment in time, it just…was.”

There was a long moment of silence, Buffy gave him a small smile, her eyes glossy with tears.

“That’s beautiful.” She whispered, so softly he could barely here. “Take me there? Someday?”

Pulling her against him, Angel gave her a small smile of his own, nodding slightly.

“Yeah, someday.”

And with that, the two laid there in silence. Both dreaming of a blissful someday of hope; one without worry or guilt or hurt, not even an over amount of joy- just… peace. A blissful someday, that they would cling to for the rest of their journey. A someday that they both knew would never come.


Twenty-Three

Three Months Later…
“Buffy! Duck!” Angel yelled, throwing the scaly demon from him once more.

The blonde looked up from her spot, just in time to barely miss the sharp claw aimed at her skull. Gulping slightly, she shook her head and charged at her opponent, managing to kick him back a few yards, twisting his neck in the process. Blocking a punch from another, she jumped over it and before the thing had a chance to turn, she had the sword in and out of his orange (partially exterior) heart. Growling as the demon-goo spewed onto her jacket, she advanced towards the final demon, knocking him squarely upside the head for her dark companion to finish off with a swift beheading. The short demon fell with a dull thud, landing just next to one of the many tombstones surrounding them.

Letting out a breath, the warrior examined the five dead carcases, her nose scrunching at the sight.

“Demon goo that not only smells like dead rot, it glows purple. Can I just say ew?”

Ignoring her comment, Angel leaned down and carefully looked at the bodies, noticing the small shape imprinted into their arms.

“Brailehck demons.” He said, dropping the lifeless limb once again.

“Bray-what?”

“Brailehck, not overly bright but make for good foot soldiers. They’ll do practically anything for an unfair price, usually a bit too risky to be put out against any major forces.”

“Gee, I’m so flattered.” Buffy mumbled, taking off her now ruined jacket with a whine. “That’s the fourth jacket this week! They seriously do not pay me enough for this.”

Laughing slightly at his girlfriend’s grumbles, Angel leaned down and kissed her soundly on the lips, keeping his arm wrapped around her waist.

“They’re getting stronger.” He said, giving the area a quick visual, and pleased to find nothing other than graves and abandoned crypts.

“Nah,” Buffy shook her head, “they’re always this strong, just usually don’t come in such large groups. More manageable when you only have one trying to kill you.”

Nodding, Angel once again brought his lips to her own, revelling in the kiss as though it was their first.

In the past three months the two had grown even closer, with Buffy’s training kicked up (which, to Angel’s pleasure, she was doing extraordinarily well in) she ended up spending most of her time at his home. Usually falling asleep in his arms or on his couch, for him to put her to bed and curl in beside her. Buffy not only had a drawer, she had a good portion of his closet filled with various outfits, and his cupboards with food. Although he pretended to be manly about it and annoyed, Angel was thrilled with this. It had started one day with a single yellow flower, she had come over a few hours before sundown with it and promptly placed it on his coffee table, saying although she loved his apartment more than she could admit, it needed a woman’s touch. Seeing the satisfied smile that lit up her face, Angel had caved in and welcomed her to add any feminine needs she felt necessary. Here he was, three months later, with a flower in the living room, bedroom, and kitchen, more of her clothes than his own, various scented soaps decorating his bathroom, and more small notes and doodles lying around than he could sanely admit.

­And he loved every second of it.

Their relationship had grown physically closer (slowly, but surely) and although they hadn’t thought about (okay, scratch that, TALKED about) sex, both were more than happy with the way things were going. It seemed that every day they learned something new about each other (like that Buffy was afraid of spiders, or that Angel could draw almost lifelike pictures with nothing more than a piece of charcoal and some paper), and found themselves more and more enthralled by the other. Neither had worked up the courage (or “found the right time”) to say those three little words to the other, although both knew of the love that they felt, they were, in the end, hopelessly lily-livered to say anything about it.

As their innocent kiss began to sneak into 14A-rated territory, Buffy pulled back and smirked.

“We’d better get going, Faith and Gunn will be coming to get rid of the bodies pretty soon, don’t want a repeat performance of last time.”

Angel rolled his eyes, remembering all-too well what had happened two and a half months ago. He and Buffy had been out necking on patrol when Faith and her dark friend had spotted them, immediately assuming the worst they’d thrown him off her and come about a half-inch away from staking him. It took Buffy a good half hour of explaining and guarding him, before he and the familiar black man could be properly introduced. Not some of his most admirable moments to say the least. He and the two got along fairly well now, but the thought of being caught necking a senior officer by two warriors and their teams wasn’t one he really felt the need to play out.

Taking her hand, he picked up his forgotten axe and slinging it over his other shoulder, headed towards the exit of the graveyard. Buffy smiled and looked up at him.

“By the way, there’s this thing going on tomorrow night. Nothing major I just kinda forgot to ask you if you’d be my date before so, ya.” She said, giving him an innocent smile.

Obviously not catching on, Angel shrugged.

“Sure. I mean, if you want to go somewhere I’m sure we could work it.”

Buffy smiled.

“Great, now all you need is to pick up your tux and we’re good to go.” She said, in a chipper voice.

Angel stopped dead in his tracks, holding his hands up.

“Whoa, sorry but what?”

“Oh, it’s nothing huge, just this small, black-tie-ish…thing.”

“Thing? Buffy the last time you used that phrase I ended up having to save Doyle from Faith.”

“Well hey, he’s all irish and half-demony. He should know better than to hide suspiciously outside your place like that.” At Angel’s raised eyebrows, she caved. “Fine, it’s a ball. The council has it every year for all the warriors and their watchers and everyone. I’ve only ever been to one, when I was really little Giles took me and Tara, but from what I remember it was really fun and this year I’m invited, and it’d really mean a lot to me if you came.”

Angel sighed, trying to forget the “mean a lot to me” card.

“I donno, I mean this sounds like a thing for council people. And they don’t like me much over there.”

“But come on Angel! I mean you’re more of a warrior than most of those stuffy british men could ever be! And so what, they don’t all know you or else they wouldn’t think that way.” Seeing his stubborn look, she glared at him. “Well too bad, you’re my boyfriend. It’s your boyfriendlyish duty to go. I want to get all prettied up, and girly, and walk in with my honey and have a zillion and a half dances, and if anyone has a problem with that they’re just gonna have to deal.”

Angel smiled, shaking his head.

“As long as you’re okay with this, fine, I’ll go. And for the record you always look beautiful.”

“Yeah, yeah, whatever you say. And of course I’m fine with it, otherwise I wouldn’t have asked.”

Angel suppressed a smirk, it’s ironic how nicely she “asked” when really he had no choice at all.

With that, the two started towards Giles’ place, walking leisurely along the streets. Usually, Buffy would just take her bike out patrolling, but Angel insisted that it wasn’t ‘stealthy’ enough (and considering that he refused to ride with her on it, she eventually relented). Although she still used it during the day, it had been practically retired for night use.

Angel stared down at the small blonde, going over the last few months in his mind. Although he was happy about Buffy being a more active part of his life, there was one drawback to it; secrets. Or the impossibility of keeping one. For the past while he’d spent most of his free time researching for any clues that may explain what Lindsay told him that night in the bar. He’d managed to make some progress, finding bits and pieces on warrior girls and the beginning of the war (as well as, to his surprise, a few tidbits on the Ireland situation all those years back). The information was hard enough to find; searching endlessly through both his and Giles’ multiple books, as well as more than a few council volumes that he managed to convince Buffy would help them with the appending Armageddon. That, and Buffy’s curious (for lack of a better word, nagging) for an explanation was making it more than a little difficult to accomplish anything. Still, he wouldn’t let himself give up, Lindsay’s grave words still haunting him.

Not long after they set off, the two were in the foyer of the trainer’s home. Heading into the library, they saw what had become a common scene; Tara sitting at a table researching, mountains of book scattered in an array across the metal surface. Her face buried in a book, and one (unknowing to anyone but Buffy) that had little to do with their current problems. It had been several weeks ago when Tara had admitted to Buffy her interest in the dark arts. Not heavy-duty evil stuff, just magics and charms- simple spells. With her sister’s enthusiastic encouragement (and promise to secrecy for the time being), she’d been reading more and more books of Latin chants, and fewer and fewer of much else. Angel had noticed last week when walking by, recognizing the words from one point in his long life, he hadn’t said anything, being less than surprised (after all, he was a vampire with a soul in love with a warrior- his life couldn’t get much weirder).

Across the room, Giles was outside his office with Wesley, pouring over a book and discussing one thing or another with the younger trainer. Wes had been coming around for quite some time now, he and Doyle working closely with their small group ever since Angel had first found out about Wesley’s sudden change in sides. Although hesitant at first, he, Giles, and Tara had all managed to accept his new role fairly well, although slightly confused by it all they saw him making a sincere effort. Buffy however, was a different story. Despite the reassurances of Angel, Giles, Doyle, Tara, and even Wesley himself, she was still cold and wary towards him, not believing his sudden change of pace one bit. Even though she wouldn’t admit it, Angel knew what she thought; that he was a council spy come to keep them from finding anything. No matter how much (or little) progress they made, Buffy had her mind set, and Angel was quickly learning that nothing was going to change it.

Finally noticing the two warriors, Giles turned his attention from his books to the two, giving them a welcoming smile.

“Ah, Buffy, Angel. Patrolling went well I assume?”

Buffy moaned and rolled her eyes, leaning her forehead against Angel’s shoulder.

“Found a couple of Brailehck demons, put up a pretty good fight.” Angel supplied.

“They ruined another jacket!” Buffy added, unmoving from her position.

“Brailehck? That’s odd, usually they are used as foot soldiers, yes?” Wesley asked, disregarding Buffy’s complaint.

Angel nodded,

“The demons have picked up lately, getting in more than I’d like. Like they’re dong everything they can to take out whoever and whatever they can.”

“You think they might be planning something? I mean sooner rather than later, if they’re sending all these guys in.” Tara asked, looking up from her spell book.

Giles shook his head,

“It would be best not to assume anything at the moment, however it seems to be becoming an apparent possibility. Wesley and his crew have yet to hear anything to indicate anything immediate though.”

“Speaking of, wha’cha doin’ here Wes?” Buffy asked with false cheerfulness, looking up at the trainer.

“He came to fill me in on the situation in town.” Giles cut in, giving Buffy a small glare.

“Yes, I’m afraid we haven’t found much else of news, but we’ve managed to recruit some new warriors into the mix; mostly demonic. Spike, actually, is becoming one of the largest supporters; seems to help out as much as Doyle or I. He wants to meet with you, Buffy. He said to stop by whenever you find the time, he’s at the bar most of the day, so you’re best to catch him there.”

Buffy nodded, admittedly anxious to meet the vampire herself. She still knew little about him, only that he was helping them out a lot in recruiting demons and getting info. She preferred to know her allies in person, and had been meaning to meet with him sometime soon anyway.

Sighing, Wesley looked at the clock.

“Well, I’m afraid I must go. I’ll check in again soon, goodnight.” He said to the room, before heading home.

Once he was gone, Giles tiredly turned to the two warriors.

“I’m sorry, but Wesley mentioned that the south-east end of town is looking like it may have some activity soon. Would you two mind checking it out briefly tonight? I know it’s late.”

Buffy sighed and reluctantly nodded, half-suppressing a yawn.

“Alright, I’ll go check it out, head home afterwards.”

Angel put his hand on her shoulder, a concerned look evident on his face.

“No, you’re tired. Go home, I’ll finish up without you.”

“Angel, I-”

“Nuh uh.” Angel cut her off, a playfully berating look crossing his features. “Go to sleep. Now.”’

Buffy shook her head, knowing that this was the end of discussion. With a grateful smile, she gave him a quick kiss.

“Thank you.” She said softly.

“No problem, I’ll come by tomorrow night just before the ball okay?”

She nodded, turning to the others in the room.

“Night guys.”

A chorus of “goodnights” rang out, and with a final smile at Angel, Buffy headed out the door, sheepishly trudging her way home.

The journey across town was short, but oddly quiet for Buffy. Usually she would have Angel by her side, as it was rare that he didn’t accompany her on patrols; something that she was now doing nightly from dusk to dawn. Although hard to adjust to at first, she had managed to fit into her new role at the council fairly well. Every morning she would have to stop by to pick up her instructions and report on what’s going on; usually including the minor demonic activity, places to patrol at, and such. So far only two of the missions had been particularly dangerous, situations that had in the end made Angel furious and her glad he came along. The first time she’d ended up having to take on twice as many demons as they’d expected, and wound up with a nasty head injury and near broken arm because of it, it had taken her over an hour of reasoning with him to keep the vampire from storming to the council and tearing their heads off.

Other than that, things had been going fairly well. Every now and then she’d be forced to do a monthly report to Garrison (much to her exasperation), and had received a few odd glances from both Riley and Quentin, but so far so good. The fact that she and Angel had been spending so much time together was also something to brighten her mood. Over the past few months she’d opened up to him more than she had to anyone; found out things about him that she never would have guessed, and loved him more and more each day. He’d been so patient with her, in her training, patrolling, as well as there physical distance (or lack thereof).

Sex. Something that had been going through her head a lot the last few weeks. She and Tara had ended up talking about it one day, her sister had told her to only go as far as she was ready for, knowing that Angel would always make sure she didn’t go too fast and regret anything. That, and one of Buffy’s older sayings: “Life is short. In our positions probably even shorter. I’m not saying that you have to do anything, just… if you know you’re ready, and really love and trust him, seize the day. When that is, doesn’t really matter. I mean, he has forever after all, he’s waited hundreds of years to meet someone like you, I’m sure a little while longer isn’t going to kill him.” She hadn’t said much that Buffy didn’t already know, but still, it was good to hear it from someone else; a small reassurance that she needed.

Arriving at her apartment, Buffy quickly threw off her demon-ified jacket and got ready for bed. About a half hour later, she snuggled under her covers and fell into a deep sleep, finally allowing her tiredness to catch up with her.

Buffy hazily looked around, a dark fog surrounding her so thick that she couldn’t make out where she was. The smell of death and smoke were heavy, a cold atmosphere all around. Where was she? What was she doing here?

Suddenly, as if hearing her thoughts, the fog began to fade, leaving Buffy gasping at what she saw. A battlefield. Hills decorated with corpses of humans and demons alike, blood and body parts seemingly everywhere. Weapons look as though they’d been smashed, most bodies almost too mangled to make out at all. An icy chill ran down her spine as she gazed around in horror; it looked like a massacre, every last bit of life wiped out, even the very ground she stood on turned grey with death.

Slowly, a figure began to emerge from afar; drawing closer and closer by the second. A girl, no more than seventeen, with long black hair and piercing dark eyes, filled with more horrors than most would ever know of. She was dressed simply in brown pants and a black turtleneck, a large sword in her hand. The weapon appeared almost unreal; it’s flawless blade shining through the darkness, the handle an elaborately designed silver and almost embroidered with gold details and emeralds. Buffy tried to speak but found herself mute, as the figure lifted her hand to be silent.

“We are at the field of the dead; this is where it all went off.” The figure said in a strong voice, hearing Buffy’s unasked questions.

“What went off?” Buffy asked, unable to hold back the question.

“The war. This is the hill where it started, where the human and demon forces converged on one another, neither able to force the other from their position at first. But then it happened, and everything fell apart.”

Buffy gave her a strange look, a dawn of realization coming across her features.

“This is where you died, you were a warrior.”

The girl shook her head.

“No, I was so much more than that. I am what lies hidden, the one that you are destined to become. I was the first fallen.”

Buffy’s blood almost ran cold. In her training she had heard vague references to her, the warrior that had almost won for humanity. But then, sometime during the battle, there were demons sent after her, strange ones all of the sudden; ones that no one had expected. She had died taking them down with her; as well as any hope humanity had left.

“Yes, you have heard the stories. Lies and truth all too twisted to see right and wrong, fact no longer separate from fiction. The true face of my killer, one you know, one that you trust.”

“What?” Buffy asked, suddenly confused.

Before she could ask again, the blonde found herself in an oddly familiar classroom, desks lined up row by row, small children all sitting at them. She stood dumbfounded by what she saw; herself, as a young girl, sitting in the front row. It was her first day of demonic studies in training, the day when she’d first found out what being a warrior truly meant. At the front of the room was her instructor, a middle-aged man stalking across the front of the room, lecturing words that even now seemed all-too familiar.

“…As warriors, you will not only have to be able to kill any demons that you are faced with, you must also understand them. Know how they work, why they are the way they are, know what their weaknesses are and why they’re there; it is the only hope you will have against them. For example: one of the basic rules of life in our dimension is balance. Therefore, in theory, one can only be made immortal once they have already deceased, in order to maintain the balance of life and death within our world. This is why vampires are brought forth the way they are; only able to walk after a painful death, when they’re forced back into existence by their sires. It’s a vicious, animalistic act, one that it is your ultimate goal to avoid, this means…”

Buffy turned away from him, remembering how scared she had been when hearing the way he described it. She’d known that really he was telling you this because he knew some of them would die that way, and that it was something they needed to avoid at all costs. One less to our side is one more to theirs, losing a man is one thing; losing him to the other side is a crisis.

“Why are you showing me this?” Buffy yelled out, unable to see her dark companion.

“Your chosen destiny is a parallel to my own. To use your enemies’ weakness, you have to understand them. Their fears are what they hurt you with, what they take away.”

“Wait? What do you mean? Are you saying I’m going to die?”

“Death is but the beginning to a new journey.” Was the only reply, before everything started to fade away into black.

“No! What do you mean? I can’t die- how! I need to know more! Don’t leave me like this! Come back! I won’t do it! NOOO!”

“NO!”

Buffy shot up in bed, barely aware of her own screams of horror. Her chest heaved as she struggled to catch her breath, tears pouring down her face. Her wide eyes frantically searched her room, the nightmare foremost in her mind, she felt as though she were chocking, drowning in terror. So many questions were left unanswered, questions that, if she was right, were pointless. Questions wouldn’t matter if she was dead, right?

Overwhelmed with fear and panic, she broke down, her body shaking as she sobbed. She didn’t want to die, she couldn’t die, not when everything was finally working out.

As her room with broken sobs, she found herself left with one simple question.

Why?


To Be Continued...